Our Hidden Selves
Morgana rang off and put the phone down as Merlin entered the house. “My mother seems to think that you’re hiding me away and you’re a mass murderer who will do away with me at some stage” she said smiling.
Merlin jolted, “why would she say that, you haven’t said anything to her have you?”
Morgana laughed, “No, she’s just joking, but she is worried that I’m in hiding”
Merlin looked at her “and do you think you are? He asked.
Morgana frowned, thinking. “I suppose I am in a way, I don’t know how to process all these memories of another me, another life, I mean, its confusing, and then there’s the magic thing. What if I go out and something happens and I can’t control my magic, that’s hiding too isn’t it?”
Merlin sighed and sat down opposite her.
“Yes, in a way, it is hiding, but it’s just a small part that you need to keep to yourself. As long you don’t hide it away from yourself and accept that’s who you are is more important.
She groaned, putting her head in her hands, “I know, I hate having to keep secrets and tell lies, I just want to be accepted for who I am”
Merlin smiled, she always had had that attitude, to want to be accepted as someone with magic and as someone who followed the old religion, it was one thing they had in common. She had fought and railed against Uther and his ilk, but he could never agree with her methods.
“Secrets are what keep us alive” he told her softly. “One thing I have learnt is that people are afraid and distrust what they don’t understand, and that can be a dangerous thing. Keeping that aspect of ourselves hidden is a necessity. If you went around saying you remember your previous life, or had magic, at the very least you would be ridiculed, but at worst you could be locked away, there are no more purges or witch-hunts, but that’s not to say it could never happen again. ” He had to make it clear to her that this time around she couldn’t take matters into her own hands. “Promise Morgana, that you’ll keep everything I’ve shown and told you a secret. There’s too much at stake. If anybody saw Aithusa, or any of the other creature’s here, what would happen to them? I don’t want to jeopardise them in any way. I’ve promised a safe haven here, and that’s the way I’ll keep it. Please, understand, if not for yourself, then for others."
She nodded “I understand, I do, I just wish magic could be celebrated, not hidden way”
Merlin nodded and said reassuringly “There are people who do believe in magic, who do celebrate it, we keep it to ourselves that’s all, it’s just the way it has to be. You don’t have to hide away from everybody entirely, you need to live”
Morgana nodded and wiped the tears that had mysteriously appeared on her face away, and gave him a grin
“I know, that’s why I’ve said we’re both coming to lunch next week”
Merlin groaned “both of us? You know I don’t do the parents thing very well”
Morgana laughed and kissed him “You too, otherwise I’ll tell her everything else you do to me”
“Don’t you even dare”he warned.