Regret can be a Bitter Thing
Author: archaeologist_d
Title: Regret can be a bitter thing
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/s: Gwen/Lancelot, Gwen/Merlin, Gwen/Arthur
Character/s: Gwen, Lancelot, Arthur, Merlin
Summary: Of all her past regrets, a single one haunts Gwen more than most.
Warnings: canon character death
Word Count: 480
Camelot drabble Prompt 526: daydreams
Disclaimer: I do not own the BBC version of Merlin; They and Shine do. I am very respectfully borrowing them with no intent to profit. No money has changed hands. No copyright infringement is intended.
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When Gwen was a little girl, she daydreamed of childish things, holding conversations with a favourite doll, demanding that the clouds above show her puppies playing or sailing ships and not rain, wondering what it would be like to fly as the birds do with all their joyous energy. But when she babbled to her mum about them, thinking they could laugh together, her mum got quiet, looking around, and told Gwen never to speak of such things again. That they were dangerous.
She stopped daydreaming. At least of childish things.
----
When Merlin came into her life, things had settled. She didn’t really dream much anymore. She was too busy as lady’s maid to Morgana and helping her father at the forge. For the briefest of times, she thought Merlin might be the one to show her adventure - he was full of laughter and energy, but his eyes were only for the prat of a prince and she let that daydream go.
Then Lancelot arrived, dark eyes full of longing, treating her like the lady she was not. With him, there was suddenly passion and soft touches, the way his gaze followed her everywhere, as if she were the sun and him the moon trailing in her wake. He would bring her wildflowers and poetry, talk of adventures beyond the sea, and promise that he would always protect her.
Her daydreams turned hot, Lancelot playing a central role, his kisses, his touches, the way her heart seemed to soar when she was with him.
She thought he felt the same, every word from his lips full of meaning. She began to think of settling down into a house full of children with soulful eyes.
Then he left her. Twice. Still hungry for him, still dreaming of love and he was gone.
Arthur was solid and dependable and, in a way, as much of a child in need of a mother as a wife. When he asked her to marry him and she agreed, it wasn’t for passion or dreamy eyes but to make a better place for all. She could see him listening to her challenges, more grownup than the childish dreams, and he needed her in a way that Lancelot never had.
Even then, when Lancelot came back again - a miracle this time, her heart still soared, her hands eager to touch that beloved face. To know that he would always be there for her, even though she was now beyond his reach.
But it didn’t stop her dreaming of a different reality, one where they were happy together, where passion and love conquered all.
Until one day, with Lancelot dead at his own hand and leaving her alone, Arthur’s looks of hurt and loss as he sent her away, and Merlin’s disappointment at her choices, she stopped dreaming altogether.
It was time to put away childish things.
Title: Regret can be a bitter thing
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/s: Gwen/Lancelot, Gwen/Merlin, Gwen/Arthur
Character/s: Gwen, Lancelot, Arthur, Merlin
Summary: Of all her past regrets, a single one haunts Gwen more than most.
Warnings: canon character death
Word Count: 480
Camelot drabble Prompt 526: daydreams
Disclaimer: I do not own the BBC version of Merlin; They and Shine do. I am very respectfully borrowing them with no intent to profit. No money has changed hands. No copyright infringement is intended.
-------------------
When Gwen was a little girl, she daydreamed of childish things, holding conversations with a favourite doll, demanding that the clouds above show her puppies playing or sailing ships and not rain, wondering what it would be like to fly as the birds do with all their joyous energy. But when she babbled to her mum about them, thinking they could laugh together, her mum got quiet, looking around, and told Gwen never to speak of such things again. That they were dangerous.
She stopped daydreaming. At least of childish things.
----
When Merlin came into her life, things had settled. She didn’t really dream much anymore. She was too busy as lady’s maid to Morgana and helping her father at the forge. For the briefest of times, she thought Merlin might be the one to show her adventure - he was full of laughter and energy, but his eyes were only for the prat of a prince and she let that daydream go.
Then Lancelot arrived, dark eyes full of longing, treating her like the lady she was not. With him, there was suddenly passion and soft touches, the way his gaze followed her everywhere, as if she were the sun and him the moon trailing in her wake. He would bring her wildflowers and poetry, talk of adventures beyond the sea, and promise that he would always protect her.
Her daydreams turned hot, Lancelot playing a central role, his kisses, his touches, the way her heart seemed to soar when she was with him.
She thought he felt the same, every word from his lips full of meaning. She began to think of settling down into a house full of children with soulful eyes.
Then he left her. Twice. Still hungry for him, still dreaming of love and he was gone.
Arthur was solid and dependable and, in a way, as much of a child in need of a mother as a wife. When he asked her to marry him and she agreed, it wasn’t for passion or dreamy eyes but to make a better place for all. She could see him listening to her challenges, more grownup than the childish dreams, and he needed her in a way that Lancelot never had.
Even then, when Lancelot came back again - a miracle this time, her heart still soared, her hands eager to touch that beloved face. To know that he would always be there for her, even though she was now beyond his reach.
But it didn’t stop her dreaming of a different reality, one where they were happy together, where passion and love conquered all.
Until one day, with Lancelot dead at his own hand and leaving her alone, Arthur’s looks of hurt and loss as he sent her away, and Merlin’s disappointment at her choices, she stopped dreaming altogether.
It was time to put away childish things.