So weird.
How different I was back then. I always thought that I was mature for my age, so being madly in love at the age of 19 wasn't weird. After all, people got married younger nowadays, don't they? That's not the point though.
I finally got back into my hecka_tight Yahoo email to send Craig an old file, and when I went into my sentbox I was surprised to see some emails from 2009... when Vinnie and I were together (for the first time). For nostalgic reasons I went back and read some of the emails, and surprised myself when I saw how...corny I was. And no, not just the "I wuv u booboo" corny, it was the "I'm head over heels for you!! Forever in our cotton candy skies and cream filled dandelion fields!!" corny. I actually blushed reading some of those lines.
For a second there I wondered if that was me writing those e-mails or if it was a 14 year old high school cheerleader writing to her quarterback boyfriend. Right after they both won homecoming queen and king. It made me sick. Writing "I love you boo" in beach sand? Taking pictures of me kissing a stuffed panda? Ending EVERY. SINGLE. THING. In "LOVE LOVE LOVE <3"? Dude. No. I couldn't believe that that was me.
I was so... lame. So gullible. So dumb.
Yet on the flip side of things... I was so... in love. So enthralled. So happy.
I haven't had that feeling since. Sure there were times when a boy made me happy. There were plenty of times when a boy made me happy. Like, Chuck for example. I can't say anything bad about him. Roy made me happy too. I had the middle school crush feeling when I was around him. Cody also made me happy for a second...I think. Brad definitely gave me butterflies. Corey's sweet nature got me bad (man I wanted to rip his innocence away from him). Craig's unconventional personality is somewhat discomforting, but intriguing at the same time.
I can safely say they've all given me that gushy feeling. I loved their company. But was it ever the same as it was when I was in love? No. I can't hold onto a man long enough for it to even bloom into possibility. I'm not even sure if I want to be like that again. I was so blinded by my emotions that I didn't think logically. I never realized how naive I was being.
But on the other side of things, it was nice seeing how I was that happy at one point in my life, even if it was short-lived. Maybe I kept those emails for a reason.
I finally got back into my hecka_tight Yahoo email to send Craig an old file, and when I went into my sentbox I was surprised to see some emails from 2009... when Vinnie and I were together (for the first time). For nostalgic reasons I went back and read some of the emails, and surprised myself when I saw how...corny I was. And no, not just the "I wuv u booboo" corny, it was the "I'm head over heels for you!! Forever in our cotton candy skies and cream filled dandelion fields!!" corny. I actually blushed reading some of those lines.
For a second there I wondered if that was me writing those e-mails or if it was a 14 year old high school cheerleader writing to her quarterback boyfriend. Right after they both won homecoming queen and king. It made me sick. Writing "I love you boo" in beach sand? Taking pictures of me kissing a stuffed panda? Ending EVERY. SINGLE. THING. In "LOVE LOVE LOVE <3"? Dude. No. I couldn't believe that that was me.
I was so... lame. So gullible. So dumb.
Yet on the flip side of things... I was so... in love. So enthralled. So happy.
I haven't had that feeling since. Sure there were times when a boy made me happy. There were plenty of times when a boy made me happy. Like, Chuck for example. I can't say anything bad about him. Roy made me happy too. I had the middle school crush feeling when I was around him. Cody also made me happy for a second...I think. Brad definitely gave me butterflies. Corey's sweet nature got me bad (man I wanted to rip his innocence away from him). Craig's unconventional personality is somewhat discomforting, but intriguing at the same time.
I can safely say they've all given me that gushy feeling. I loved their company. But was it ever the same as it was when I was in love? No. I can't hold onto a man long enough for it to even bloom into possibility. I'm not even sure if I want to be like that again. I was so blinded by my emotions that I didn't think logically. I never realized how naive I was being.
But on the other side of things, it was nice seeing how I was that happy at one point in my life, even if it was short-lived. Maybe I kept those emails for a reason.