(no subject)
ugh, i am so sick and tired of EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!! i dont know what to do...i mean, OMG...i cant even explain it. ok, well, here goes, and please, dont make any rude comments about what i am going to write in here, i really just dont feel like hearing everyone's shit. ugh, its not even that, i just dont want to have to listen to what people have to say about this.
well, tonight, i met Eric at Contempo Coffee shop with jean and andy. everything was really really cool and he was nice to me and everything. i was actually having a good time with them and i felt comfortable with him. so jean had to go home early and it was cold outside so i went and got into my car while she said bye to her boyfriend andy and she was talking to eric. so, i am sitting in my car and she is over there with them and she asks eric what he thinks of me and he says that i am really cool and everything....but....and there is ALWAYS a but....he neglected to say anything about the fact that he is talking to this girl right now.....so once again, i get my hopes up and then i crash....i am so sick of that. i mean, ok, he KNEW that we were specifically going to contempo's so him and i could meet each other. so why would he bother to go if he knew that and he obviously knew that he is talking to this other girl....so WHY FUCKING BOTHER???????
and then another down side of that situation is that he is half black, and just by my parents rules...if that is what you want to call it.....i cant date anyone out of my race.....by the way....i think that is totally and completely ridiculous....anyways. so right away i kind of felt that i liked him and stuff, but in the back of my mind i am sitting there thinking that i cant let this happen.....and at the same time i am thinking that my parents should not have any control over who i date and who i choose to be with. so basically i am going back and forth with these two ideas and so i decided that if anything happened to come out of this then i just didnt have to tell my parents about it. and i mean, it isnt like i am going to run off and get married to this kid, so i dont think that it would have been a big deal. but whatever, i mean, ok, its over now...right? i dont know, i just seem to be setting myself up for dissappointment lately. and i hate it.
ok, so the other thing is....now people i am going to warn you, this is kind of weird, but hey, people are all different.
so there is this kid that i am talking to online and i met him through a friend. i am meeting him tomorrow night at the Rocky Horror Picture Show and i am kind of hesitant about meeting him after talking to him for the past 4 days. he is a really nice person and everything, but..and like i said, there is always a but... he has this crazy obsession with stomachs. so he asks me if i will show him my stomach and i was like...umm, well, i dont know...ugh. so then he is talking about some kind of odd fantasy, and just keep in mind that i never asked him to tell me these things, he was like..just telling me and offering information...so whatever. so he starts telling me that he wants his wife...someday to be this HUGE woman who eats and eats and eats. and he just wants someone that is so big that they are confined to a bed. so i am sitting here just reading what he is telling me and i am like....umm, ok i will give him the benefit of the doubt and say that everyone likes different things, so whatever floats your boat i guess. so i kept talking to him, trying not to be rude and he says stuff like....well, would you let your husband just feed you and feed you untill you couldnt move anymore? i am like.....hmm, NOOOO!!!! so all our conversation consists of him talking about how fat he wants people to be, and how much he likes "bellies" so yea, im meeting him tomorrow night and i am kind of scared. i dont know why i get myself into these kinds of things.
and another thing that i dont know is why i keep letting my friends try to hook me up with different people. ok, jean let me meet eric tonight, and amy is letting me meet ron tomorrow. neither of them are going to work out. and then, jean set me up with this kid from online and i met him and we arent going to get into the time that i met him...it was a complate disaster.....ugh, it makes me sick. so anyways....everything is screwed up and i dont know what to do...so if you want to offer some advice then do so, but dont be mean to me, i cant take anymore shit from anyone.....
all i want is a boyfriend....is that too much to ask????
Laura
well, tonight, i met Eric at Contempo Coffee shop with jean and andy. everything was really really cool and he was nice to me and everything. i was actually having a good time with them and i felt comfortable with him. so jean had to go home early and it was cold outside so i went and got into my car while she said bye to her boyfriend andy and she was talking to eric. so, i am sitting in my car and she is over there with them and she asks eric what he thinks of me and he says that i am really cool and everything....but....and there is ALWAYS a but....he neglected to say anything about the fact that he is talking to this girl right now.....so once again, i get my hopes up and then i crash....i am so sick of that. i mean, ok, he KNEW that we were specifically going to contempo's so him and i could meet each other. so why would he bother to go if he knew that and he obviously knew that he is talking to this other girl....so WHY FUCKING BOTHER???????
and then another down side of that situation is that he is half black, and just by my parents rules...if that is what you want to call it.....i cant date anyone out of my race.....by the way....i think that is totally and completely ridiculous....anyways. so right away i kind of felt that i liked him and stuff, but in the back of my mind i am sitting there thinking that i cant let this happen.....and at the same time i am thinking that my parents should not have any control over who i date and who i choose to be with. so basically i am going back and forth with these two ideas and so i decided that if anything happened to come out of this then i just didnt have to tell my parents about it. and i mean, it isnt like i am going to run off and get married to this kid, so i dont think that it would have been a big deal. but whatever, i mean, ok, its over now...right? i dont know, i just seem to be setting myself up for dissappointment lately. and i hate it.
ok, so the other thing is....now people i am going to warn you, this is kind of weird, but hey, people are all different.
so there is this kid that i am talking to online and i met him through a friend. i am meeting him tomorrow night at the Rocky Horror Picture Show and i am kind of hesitant about meeting him after talking to him for the past 4 days. he is a really nice person and everything, but..and like i said, there is always a but... he has this crazy obsession with stomachs. so he asks me if i will show him my stomach and i was like...umm, well, i dont know...ugh. so then he is talking about some kind of odd fantasy, and just keep in mind that i never asked him to tell me these things, he was like..just telling me and offering information...so whatever. so he starts telling me that he wants his wife...someday to be this HUGE woman who eats and eats and eats. and he just wants someone that is so big that they are confined to a bed. so i am sitting here just reading what he is telling me and i am like....umm, ok i will give him the benefit of the doubt and say that everyone likes different things, so whatever floats your boat i guess. so i kept talking to him, trying not to be rude and he says stuff like....well, would you let your husband just feed you and feed you untill you couldnt move anymore? i am like.....hmm, NOOOO!!!! so all our conversation consists of him talking about how fat he wants people to be, and how much he likes "bellies" so yea, im meeting him tomorrow night and i am kind of scared. i dont know why i get myself into these kinds of things.
and another thing that i dont know is why i keep letting my friends try to hook me up with different people. ok, jean let me meet eric tonight, and amy is letting me meet ron tomorrow. neither of them are going to work out. and then, jean set me up with this kid from online and i met him and we arent going to get into the time that i met him...it was a complate disaster.....ugh, it makes me sick. so anyways....everything is screwed up and i dont know what to do...so if you want to offer some advice then do so, but dont be mean to me, i cant take anymore shit from anyone.....
all i want is a boyfriend....is that too much to ask????
Laura