And when I surface... again
I will not breathe the same air as you
And once my enemies are slain
My lungs will drink the liquid sky
Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! I'm so sorry for your loss...
Christmas went well all things considered. I cooked only for my husband and his father. We kept things quiet and low-key for a change and it was very nice.
My New years eve party was also low-key because I hardly called anyone. I was happy with the people that came and the fun we had. Perhaps I'll do a bigger bash next year.
The memorial that Robyn had for Mark was nice. I was glad to see Buddy and Elizabeth there, it warmed my heart.
It has been well over a year since he vanished and I still have no idea how to deal with it. It feels strange to refer to him in the past tense... A Schrodinger's cat of our very own! I don't even like quantum mechanics but somehow I end up here so very very often. I don't care what the probabilities are, the idea that "He is dead because we cannot see him alive" for me holds as much water as "He is in a state of both alive and dead". It's rubbish. They win in the end though, because when 'theories of reality' and the reality of my life come crashing down on one another, it's the pieces of my life that I salvage every time.
Every time.
Better for me not to dwell on it.
Dwelling leads to thinking.
Thinking leads to speaking.
Speaking leads to realizing that the people I want to hear me the most think of me as only an emotional irrational woman.
Why is it I am left disappointed every time?
Every time...
And once my enemies are slain
My lungs will drink the liquid sky
Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! I'm so sorry for your loss...
Christmas went well all things considered. I cooked only for my husband and his father. We kept things quiet and low-key for a change and it was very nice.
My New years eve party was also low-key because I hardly called anyone. I was happy with the people that came and the fun we had. Perhaps I'll do a bigger bash next year.
The memorial that Robyn had for Mark was nice. I was glad to see Buddy and Elizabeth there, it warmed my heart.
It has been well over a year since he vanished and I still have no idea how to deal with it. It feels strange to refer to him in the past tense... A Schrodinger's cat of our very own! I don't even like quantum mechanics but somehow I end up here so very very often. I don't care what the probabilities are, the idea that "He is dead because we cannot see him alive" for me holds as much water as "He is in a state of both alive and dead". It's rubbish. They win in the end though, because when 'theories of reality' and the reality of my life come crashing down on one another, it's the pieces of my life that I salvage every time.
Every time.
Better for me not to dwell on it.
Dwelling leads to thinking.
Thinking leads to speaking.
Speaking leads to realizing that the people I want to hear me the most think of me as only an emotional irrational woman.
Why is it I am left disappointed every time?
Every time...