just got home
we went to see kristina and scott yesterday. had a good time. had a really good time at the gun range, too. nice to get away, and, in the words of my grandma, my vacation wasn't a "total loss." cleaned out the fridge, went to the beach once, went to jax to see k & s, got bunny room cleaned up, got porch cleaned up. got new washer hooked up. so, somewhat productive. just not as much as i'd intended.
i could get really used to not going to work, but tomorrow is monday so back to the grind then. though not really much of a grind this time of year. getting ready for the next rush and all of that, and finishing all my EOY stuff so our new fiscal year can start on a clean slate.
so i'm online, and paying bills, and other fun things like that. think i'll go lay down not long from now as i'm tired. but i've been thinking of some stuff i need to work on, since i'm coming to the conclusion that whining/moaning/carrying on even internally, about stuff about me i don't like, isn't going to change it.
i need to work on being the person i want to be, and truly should be, not a person who has some particular image to project. especially considering how hard i find it to hold on to just ONE image, (because everyone is multifaceted, after all) certainly doesn't make it any easier.
so, seriously, shit or get off the pot. shut up or buck up. whatever. quit bitching, because complaining never changed anything, and it's one of the things other people do that puts me on edge instantaneously. seriously. why be a hypocrite any more than human nature necessitates?
i will probably never change the world. i'm working on accepting that. but i can change ME and not only can i change ME, i can change the effect i have on other people. it's like the starfish story, and how you can't save all the starfish on the beach, but you can help that ONE. well, i am the ONE that i can help, and maybe if i do, and get my shit together, when other people interact with me, they'll come off better for it. and maybe THEY'LL be the ones that change the world (for the better.) one never knows, after all. after all, how many people have walked the earth? i have no idea, although the living population peaked at 6 billion not that long ago. and how many people are ever truly credited with doing something that improved the world for the rest of us? very, very few, to the nth power. but how did those folks who made those imprints on the world get to be who they were? they had help. i doubt many did what they did all alone, though the credit never goes to those who are 'behind the scenes.'
so if i can go out and do the best i can to be the best i can, then maybe my existence will be worthy.
...just a tangent....
i could get really used to not going to work, but tomorrow is monday so back to the grind then. though not really much of a grind this time of year. getting ready for the next rush and all of that, and finishing all my EOY stuff so our new fiscal year can start on a clean slate.
so i'm online, and paying bills, and other fun things like that. think i'll go lay down not long from now as i'm tired. but i've been thinking of some stuff i need to work on, since i'm coming to the conclusion that whining/moaning/carrying on even internally, about stuff about me i don't like, isn't going to change it.
i need to work on being the person i want to be, and truly should be, not a person who has some particular image to project. especially considering how hard i find it to hold on to just ONE image, (because everyone is multifaceted, after all) certainly doesn't make it any easier.
so, seriously, shit or get off the pot. shut up or buck up. whatever. quit bitching, because complaining never changed anything, and it's one of the things other people do that puts me on edge instantaneously. seriously. why be a hypocrite any more than human nature necessitates?
i will probably never change the world. i'm working on accepting that. but i can change ME and not only can i change ME, i can change the effect i have on other people. it's like the starfish story, and how you can't save all the starfish on the beach, but you can help that ONE. well, i am the ONE that i can help, and maybe if i do, and get my shit together, when other people interact with me, they'll come off better for it. and maybe THEY'LL be the ones that change the world (for the better.) one never knows, after all. after all, how many people have walked the earth? i have no idea, although the living population peaked at 6 billion not that long ago. and how many people are ever truly credited with doing something that improved the world for the rest of us? very, very few, to the nth power. but how did those folks who made those imprints on the world get to be who they were? they had help. i doubt many did what they did all alone, though the credit never goes to those who are 'behind the scenes.'
so if i can go out and do the best i can to be the best i can, then maybe my existence will be worthy.
...just a tangent....