weathering changes
so i think there is going to be a definite tip in the weather towards the colder side of the spectrum. it has been cooling off, but still pretty balmy around here for fall. my body is predicting that the weather is going to cool off soon. i woke up with my lower back aching today and sitting on my butt at work is aggravating the condition. it's not really that bad, but just enough to be annoying.
i have to go out to my daughters soccer game tonight and sit on the grass because i am too stubborn to buy one of those folding chairs. it's like the rebellious part of me that refuses to be a soccer mom would rather sit on the ground. i am not, repeat, not, not not cut out to be a soccer mom. I listen to all the parents chatting on the sidelines of the game and talking about how good certain kids are and who's playing thebest and I just can't muster up any give a shit. THEY ARE 5 AND 6 YEAR OLDS! Let them run around in a big clump and have fun.
as far as not having what it takes to be a soccer mom, that is just patently obvious. my ex husband is a great soccer mom. he fits right in with the mini van set. I'm sure that the parents of all of these kids are lovely people and i don't want to come off as stuck up or elitist. there is just a general feeling of, well, plasticness (ha ha! i made a word!) that pervades the whole atmosphere.
the same with her dance recital this past spring. she and the other little kids were cute and looked cute in their costumes and all performed pretty much like you would expect them to, seeing as they are all 5 years old. but there were 17 year olds who had been involved with this dance company since they were 4 and everyone was telling them afterwards about what a great job they did. my mom and dad and I seemed to be the only ones wondering about this. i'm no great critic, but honestly they sucked. teams of four or five girls had three that obviously had no idea how the routing was supposed to go as they were all watching the one girl who seemed to have some clue. their timing was horrible. they really did not present themselves much better than the little kids. and this was their All Star Team people, the All Star Team. my ex husband knew some of the girls, having been one of their teachers in elementary school and we heard him congratulating one of them aftewards on what a really great job she did with - get this - no hint of irony. none at all. (this particular girl i thought was going to fall off the stage once or twice she was so not paying attention) my mom snickered into her hand and whispered to me "were we watching a different recital than everyone else?" this leads me to my next point (point? there is a point to this?)
THERE IS SUCH A THING AS OVER-PRAISING YOUR KIDS PEOPLE! how about we emphasize how great it was that they tried their best instead of just giving them general applause eveytime they do, i dunno, anything?!?!? there is this attitude now that i see in a lot of parents that we have to praise our children for everything that they do. i agree that kids should be encouraged, but rein it in folks. there have been several studies done that state that over praising kids contributes to them being lazy about working for anything - school, sports, arts, anything. why bother doing anything that you actually have to put in some time and work at when you are going to get just as much praise when you do a half assed job of it?
ok, one more example and then i will wrap this rant up. my daughter had her pictures taken for soccer. cute pics in the little uniform andeverythig. she needed to sit there down on one knee for a minute while the photographer adjusted everything. then she has to give him her best 'would you hurry up I am losing my balance jerk off' smile. click, pic done. my ex husband actually clapped his hands and said 'good job! good job!' when she was done. this drove me absolutely bonkers. she was taking a picture people. a picture!
Now, i love my daughter, but she has inherited from me a tendency towards laziness. i'll admit it, i'm lazy. i have to make myself try new things sometimes because i am lazy and don't want to put forth the effort it will take to assimilate new info. luckily, i know this about myself and force feed myself new info regularly to combat the tendancy. it sounds stupid, buit i have noticed that i have to push mo to get her to do some things that will involve her working at it a little - like learning to play new games. if she doesn't fully commprehend the rules within a few minutes she just gives up and says it is too hard. i have to push and push until i feel like a real bitch sometimes. i won't force her to do something, but i just keep trying to encourage her. maybe this is partially due to her being applauded for doing anything at all. i don't automatically tell her that her artwork is beautiful and perfect (even though it is), i ask her if she is proud of the work that she did on it, and to tell me about it. a lot of the time we hang it up on the fridge if it is something she is obviously proud of. i'm rpoud of all her artwork, but the ones she says she is proud of mean even more because it is her work that she prides herself on without needing my constant lip service.
ok. enough ranting.
i have to go out to my daughters soccer game tonight and sit on the grass because i am too stubborn to buy one of those folding chairs. it's like the rebellious part of me that refuses to be a soccer mom would rather sit on the ground. i am not, repeat, not, not not cut out to be a soccer mom. I listen to all the parents chatting on the sidelines of the game and talking about how good certain kids are and who's playing thebest and I just can't muster up any give a shit. THEY ARE 5 AND 6 YEAR OLDS! Let them run around in a big clump and have fun.
as far as not having what it takes to be a soccer mom, that is just patently obvious. my ex husband is a great soccer mom. he fits right in with the mini van set. I'm sure that the parents of all of these kids are lovely people and i don't want to come off as stuck up or elitist. there is just a general feeling of, well, plasticness (ha ha! i made a word!) that pervades the whole atmosphere.
the same with her dance recital this past spring. she and the other little kids were cute and looked cute in their costumes and all performed pretty much like you would expect them to, seeing as they are all 5 years old. but there were 17 year olds who had been involved with this dance company since they were 4 and everyone was telling them afterwards about what a great job they did. my mom and dad and I seemed to be the only ones wondering about this. i'm no great critic, but honestly they sucked. teams of four or five girls had three that obviously had no idea how the routing was supposed to go as they were all watching the one girl who seemed to have some clue. their timing was horrible. they really did not present themselves much better than the little kids. and this was their All Star Team people, the All Star Team. my ex husband knew some of the girls, having been one of their teachers in elementary school and we heard him congratulating one of them aftewards on what a really great job she did with - get this - no hint of irony. none at all. (this particular girl i thought was going to fall off the stage once or twice she was so not paying attention) my mom snickered into her hand and whispered to me "were we watching a different recital than everyone else?" this leads me to my next point (point? there is a point to this?)
THERE IS SUCH A THING AS OVER-PRAISING YOUR KIDS PEOPLE! how about we emphasize how great it was that they tried their best instead of just giving them general applause eveytime they do, i dunno, anything?!?!? there is this attitude now that i see in a lot of parents that we have to praise our children for everything that they do. i agree that kids should be encouraged, but rein it in folks. there have been several studies done that state that over praising kids contributes to them being lazy about working for anything - school, sports, arts, anything. why bother doing anything that you actually have to put in some time and work at when you are going to get just as much praise when you do a half assed job of it?
ok, one more example and then i will wrap this rant up. my daughter had her pictures taken for soccer. cute pics in the little uniform andeverythig. she needed to sit there down on one knee for a minute while the photographer adjusted everything. then she has to give him her best 'would you hurry up I am losing my balance jerk off' smile. click, pic done. my ex husband actually clapped his hands and said 'good job! good job!' when she was done. this drove me absolutely bonkers. she was taking a picture people. a picture!
Now, i love my daughter, but she has inherited from me a tendency towards laziness. i'll admit it, i'm lazy. i have to make myself try new things sometimes because i am lazy and don't want to put forth the effort it will take to assimilate new info. luckily, i know this about myself and force feed myself new info regularly to combat the tendancy. it sounds stupid, buit i have noticed that i have to push mo to get her to do some things that will involve her working at it a little - like learning to play new games. if she doesn't fully commprehend the rules within a few minutes she just gives up and says it is too hard. i have to push and push until i feel like a real bitch sometimes. i won't force her to do something, but i just keep trying to encourage her. maybe this is partially due to her being applauded for doing anything at all. i don't automatically tell her that her artwork is beautiful and perfect (even though it is), i ask her if she is proud of the work that she did on it, and to tell me about it. a lot of the time we hang it up on the fridge if it is something she is obviously proud of. i'm rpoud of all her artwork, but the ones she says she is proud of mean even more because it is her work that she prides herself on without needing my constant lip service.
ok. enough ranting.