Paint a Pretty Rainbow Part 7a/8
Rating: NC-17
Type: J2-AU
Warning: Angst, Romance and First Time
Disclaimer: Not mine, just playing
Words: This part, 2065 words
Part: 7/8
Summary:
Owner of a corporate empire inherited from his father, Jared Padalecki is a talented architect, rich and successful but desperately lonely. Whilst looking at the site for his dream new development, he meets a man who will change his life forever. Can two lonely people break down the barriers of time and find love?
Author’s Note.
Loosely based on the musical Brigadoon (a favourite of mine) but I promise no singing or dancing and I moved the location to the depths of the US, away from Scotland. I hope you enjoy. Sorry for the late posting, RL got in the way again!! This part of the story is split into three parts so that LJ doesn't have a fit!
Calysta
Paint a Pretty Rainbow
by Calysta
Previous chapter
Jensen could smell it on the air, feel it in the breeze whipping at his skin. The almost earthy odour and the chill that filled the air, signalling rain. He chanced a quick look upward; the blue sky had disappeared replaced by stormy grey clouds. He stumbled on the uneven ground, turning his ankle slightly, but Jensen ignored the stab of pain, and continued to run. Run as fast as he could toward the bridge, the only thing on his mind, catch Jared and explain everything. Say goodbye. Tears blurred his vision at the thought of saying goodbye, but Jensen pressed on desperate to see Jared one last time.
Sweat soaked his shirt, and the sound of his boots thumping the ground echoed loudly in his head and ears, deafening him. His breath, harsh and raspy, battled with the heavy sound of his footfall. Jensen felt light headed and dizzy, but raced onward blindly ignoring everything, his breathing, the sounds around him, even the rutted ground he was slip-sliding over. He chanced looking up. Jared was on the bridge.
"Jared," Jensen shouted as loud as his breath would allow him. "Please wait."
Jared stopped, turned, and stared toward Jensen for a moment. With one last glance at Jensen, Jared turned away.
Jensen stepped up his pace, reaching the Winchester end of the bridge as Jared stepped off the opposite end onto the trail leading up the valley side, and away from Winchester. Out of breath, his words wouldn't come, and Jensen bent slightly at the waist, his hands on his knees as he huffed, blowing out breath after breath, trying to calm his ragged breathing. His heart hammered in his chest, reminding him he had just run across two fields. He looked up - Jared was striding away from Winchester, and Jensen knew he couldn't follow. He worried at his bottom lip before making up his mind. This was his last chance to tell Jared he loved him, and he had to tell him before he disappeared forever.
With a deep calming breath, Jensen forced his feet onto the bridge, and slowly edged toward the centre. His heart thudded, but not from running across the fields, but from fear. Jensen was frightened, could hear Caleb's warning words echo in his head, but his love for Jared drove him forward. His fingers ghosted across the stone of the bridge, blindly feeling for the symbol he knew was carved into the rock. He had carved it there himself, so many years ago to Jared, but only days for him. The symbol, one of the markers to the boundaries of his life. Jensen clenched his hand into a fist, when his finger tips stroked across the roughly carved symbol, and he stood frozen to the spot. Jensen looked up. "Jared."
Jensen held his breath, and watched as Jared stopped walking, his shoulders and poise becoming tense. "Please," Jensen whispered as he crossed his fingers, hoping against hope that Jared would give him a chance to explain. "Give me a chance to explain."
Jared stopped in his tracks. Hurt and confusion, in equal measures, pumped through his body. He loved Jensen, but right now he felt utterly lost, even betrayed. Stomping away, after his conversation with Caleb, hadn't made him feel any better, neither had squashing some small pretty blue flowers under his boots, resolving that they would be the first casualties of his new development. Instead of feeling triumphant, the action had made Jared feel childish, which in turn had made him even angrier, even more hurt and confused. Love muddled his brain, and Jared had the stupid urge to turn and rush into Jensen's arms, feel his warmth against his body, let Jensen whisper words of love, and tell him it was all a huge joke. Jared was proud that he managed to resist the temptation, stubbornly ignoring the strange churning in his stomach. He desperately wanted to believe, but Jared knew Caleb hadn't lied to him. It wasn't a joke; Jensen was leaving tonight. No, hell strike that Winchester was leaving tonight.
Jared glanced up the angry grey sky, the first drops of rain hitting his upturned face. "Oh great," he murmured, cursing his life. Anger coursed through his body once more, and not just from the rain; Jared couldn't believe that he had been so easily distracted from his beloved project, the city of his dreams. He had allowed himself to be sidetracked by pretty green eyes, an easy smile, and words that meant nothing. "You're wrong," the little voice in his head taunted.
Jared ground his teeth, channelling his hurt and anger, childishly deciding Jensen's farm would be first to be bull-dozed, and he would even drive the damn machine. Even if he couldn't see it in 2012, he growled. He swung around to face Jensen. "What makes you think you think you have anything to say that I wanna listen to right now?"
"Thank God," Jensen thought, as Jared turned to glare at him. He could clearly see the pain and hurt in Jared's expression, and Jensen felt sick to his stomach. But, an angry Jared, was better than no Jared at all. "Nothing I guess."
"Damn straight."
"I tried to tell you."
"You didn't try hard enough."
Jensen's hand still gripped the bridge, the carved symbol beneath his palm grounding and calming him slightly. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
"I don't give a damn what you did or didn't mean." Anger fuelled his hurt, and Jared wanted to hurt Jensen back. He pushed his now wet bangs out of his eyes. "You don't mean a thing to me," he shouted, hoping Jensen couldn't hear the lie in his tone.
The words stung, but Jensen knew he deserved Jared's anger, could hear the hurt in Jared's voice, almost see the tension in Jared's body, and guilt churned in his stomach; this was his fault. "I get you're mad at me, but just give me a chance to explain."
"You'll only lie to me again."
"I never lied to you."
"You didn't tell me the truth." Jared waved his arm in the air. "About you, and your stupid damn town."
"You didn't ask." The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them, and Jensen silently cursed his big mouth.
Jared glared. "So, now it's my fault for not asking the right questions?"
"You never got around to asking your questions."
"You distracted me."
"Didn't hear you complaining."
Jared growled, and pointed his finger at Jensen, not realising he had moved closer toward the bridge. "You put a spell on me."
Jensen couldn't help himself, he laughed despite the situation. "I put a spell on you?"
"Yeah."
"Nobody put a spell on anyone, Jared."
"Well somebody did in your freaky town."
"Now, you're being ridiculous."
"I'm being ridiculous. Well excuse me for being just a little freaked and a whole lot angry at you," Jared stabbed his finger against Jensen's chest. "I thought I meant something to you."
"You do."
"I don't believe you."
"That's your choice, but it's the truth," Jensen stepped back, and kicked at the dust, the guilt still swirling in his belly. "You mean everything to me, and I was kinda hoping I meant something to you too."
Jared stomped his foot, angry. It was stupid and childish, but it made him feel slightly better. "No, you don't mean a thing to me," he shouted. The expression on Jensen's face nearly broke his heart, and Jared shrugged blowing out a frustrated sigh. "Okay, so I'm lying. Yes … may be," he kicked at the ground himself. "You mean something to me."
Jensen couldn't help the small smile of relief, but knew he had a lot of making up to do, to get Jared to smile again. "I know I deserve your anger.
"Yeah. Yeah you do."
"Just let me try and explain."
"I heard all I needed to from Caleb."
"He didn't have time to tell you the whole story."
"He told me enough."
"Don't be such a stubborn asshole, and let me explain some more."
"No way," Jared shook his head, suddenly angry again. "You have nothing to say that I wanna hear."
"You could ask your questions."
"I should have asked them yesterday, when I first got to this godforsaken place, instead of letting you distract me."
Jensen snorted. "Like I said, I didn't hear you complaining."
Jared glared. "I'm getting outta here, away from you and all your mumbo jumbo. Before I get trapped by the voodoo that's going on around here."
"Mumbo jumbo? Voodoo?" Jensen frowned, confused.
"Yeah mumbo jumbo and voodoo assed freakiness."
"I have no idea what you're saying," Jensen admitted with another frown. "But I'm guessing it's not good."
"Damn right."
Jensen stared at Jared for a moment, watching a myriad of emotions cross Jared's face, from anger, to pain to confusion, and he swore he saw just a tiny bit of love. He desperately wanted to explain, but sensed Jared didn't want to listen. He kicked at the dirt again, his time was up. In a few hours, Jared would be lost to him forever, and he would have an eternity of regret. He sighed, and half-nodded at Jared. "Fair enough." Jensen turned away.
Despite his fury, panic surged through Jared, and he took a step forward. Jensen was leaving, and he would never know if the other man really loved him. You know already, his brain helpfully supplied. "Hey, you don't get to just walk away."
Jensen turned back to Jared. "You made it plain that you don't wanna listen to me."
"I changed my mind."
Jensen folded his arms across his chest. "You said Caleb told you everything you needed to know."
"I want to hear it from you," Jared said. "I think you owe me an explanation."
Jensen rolled his eyes. "May be I don't wanna tell you now."
It was Jared's turn to roll his eyes. "Jensen. Stop being a dickhead."
Jensen frowned, a look of confusion on his face. He blew out a sigh. "Jared, we don't even speak the same language."
"Now you're just being stupid. Words are just that, words. And I wanna know what the hell is going on around here. "
Jensen ignored Jared, instead making a line in the dirt with the toe of his boot. "See that line?"
Jared stared down at the wobbly line. "Wow, you can make a line in the dirt with your boot."
"This isn't an art project," Jensen snapped. "I'm trying to explain something. Something very important."
Jared pouted. "Fine, I see the line. So?"
"That line separates us."
"I don't understand." Jared frowned, staring down at the dirt again.
"It's easy for you to step across the mark, but me, I can never step over the line toward you, Jared."
"Why?"
"Because if I do, Winchester and all of its people will sleep forever."
Jared took a step back, his mouth open, but found he couldn't force any words out. He swallowed hard. "But I have plans to build a new city on this site. What would happen to Winchester then?" he finally managed to force out.
Jensen shrugged. "Honestly?"
"Yeah."
"I don't know."
"You don't know? How can you not know?"
"I just don't, it's that simple." Jensen removed his hand from the stone of the bridge revealing the carving. " This symbol marks one of the boundaries of our life here. If I step over, Winchester sleeps forever. Staying here was the price we were all prepared to pay."
"So I guess that building a city on this site wouldn't have done you or your town any good. I would have killed you all, and never known."
"Jared, you didn't know. How could you? You just happened along at the same time as Winchester," Jensen shrugged. "Visited."
Jared glared. "So not the point, Jensen."
It's the risk we all took. Those of us who stayed."
"Jensen."
Jensen shook his head. "I never meant to hurt you, and I'm so sorry."
Jared blew out a long sigh, and nodded. "I'm just sorta mad at you right now."
Taking a deep breath, Jensen reached out with one hand, desperately craving one last caress, but changed his mind; he was too close to a different time, to Jared's world. Jensen knew, without a doubt, that everything he wanted was one step away, but crossing over the line would mean Winchester suffering for his selfishness. Jensen jerked his hand away, and took a step backward, away from the line he had etched in the dirt. "I know."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Jensen looked down kicking at the dirt again. He looked up at Jared. "I don't know really. I planned to tell you right off even though you probably wouldn't have believed me. Thought I was a mad man or something."
"I'd have believed you."
Jensen cocked his head to one side. "Really?"
"Well okay, I would have thought you were a mad man." Jared admitted. "You still should have said something."
"Yeah I know, but I just felt … I don't know connected to you somehow, and I wanted you to stay, talk to me. But I promise, I was gonna tell you, answer all your questions, and then …. well then we…," Jensen shrugged. "Well, you know."
Jared nodded, feeling a blush spread across his face. "Yeah, I guess we kinda got carried away."
Jensen folded his arms across his chest. "I don't regret one moment of our time together, even when you were grumpy, and obsessed with maps and stuff."
"Grumpy huh?"
Jensen nodded. "I just wanted to feel normal for a little while, be with someone who I liked, who liked me back. Is that so very wrong?"
Jared blew out a calming breath, his anger slowly draining away, and shook his head. "You should have told me."
"I know, and it was selfish and kinda cruel, but I just wanted," Jensen shrugged. "To be with you. And I know I'll never be able to make it up to you. We don't have time, and that just about kills me." Tears welled up in Jensen's eyes, and he looked away. He wiped at his face, feeling suddenly stupid. He briefly closed his eyes, trying to calm himself. The light rain shower had drenched them both, and Jensen shivered despite the warmth in the air. "I'm sorry Jared, I really am."
Jared stepped over the dirt line. "I want to know everything."
"You do?"
"Don't leave anything out."
Jensen backed up, off the bridge, and slumped to the ground. He felt overwhelmed, and now given the chance to explain, Jensen didn't know where to start. He looked up at Jared. "I don't know where to start." One hand automatically went to his amulet, and he stroked it absently.
Jared could hear the desperation and sorrow in Jensen's voice, and he felt like his heart was going to break - for his pain and for Jensen's too. He blew out a breath, allowing the final remnants of his anger to drain away; Jared couldn't help feeling vaguely stupid at his vengeful thoughts. He still hurt, but Jensen deserved a chance to explain. Jared sat down, taking one of Jensen's hands in his own. "At the beginning is as good as place as anywhere." He squeezed Jensen's hand.
Next part continued here
Type: J2-AU
Warning: Angst, Romance and First Time
Disclaimer: Not mine, just playing
Words: This part, 2065 words
Part: 7/8
Summary:
Owner of a corporate empire inherited from his father, Jared Padalecki is a talented architect, rich and successful but desperately lonely. Whilst looking at the site for his dream new development, he meets a man who will change his life forever. Can two lonely people break down the barriers of time and find love?
Author’s Note.
Loosely based on the musical Brigadoon (a favourite of mine) but I promise no singing or dancing and I moved the location to the depths of the US, away from Scotland. I hope you enjoy. Sorry for the late posting, RL got in the way again!! This part of the story is split into three parts so that LJ doesn't have a fit!
Calysta
Paint a Pretty Rainbow
by Calysta
Previous chapter
Jensen could smell it on the air, feel it in the breeze whipping at his skin. The almost earthy odour and the chill that filled the air, signalling rain. He chanced a quick look upward; the blue sky had disappeared replaced by stormy grey clouds. He stumbled on the uneven ground, turning his ankle slightly, but Jensen ignored the stab of pain, and continued to run. Run as fast as he could toward the bridge, the only thing on his mind, catch Jared and explain everything. Say goodbye. Tears blurred his vision at the thought of saying goodbye, but Jensen pressed on desperate to see Jared one last time.
Sweat soaked his shirt, and the sound of his boots thumping the ground echoed loudly in his head and ears, deafening him. His breath, harsh and raspy, battled with the heavy sound of his footfall. Jensen felt light headed and dizzy, but raced onward blindly ignoring everything, his breathing, the sounds around him, even the rutted ground he was slip-sliding over. He chanced looking up. Jared was on the bridge.
"Jared," Jensen shouted as loud as his breath would allow him. "Please wait."
Jared stopped, turned, and stared toward Jensen for a moment. With one last glance at Jensen, Jared turned away.
Jensen stepped up his pace, reaching the Winchester end of the bridge as Jared stepped off the opposite end onto the trail leading up the valley side, and away from Winchester. Out of breath, his words wouldn't come, and Jensen bent slightly at the waist, his hands on his knees as he huffed, blowing out breath after breath, trying to calm his ragged breathing. His heart hammered in his chest, reminding him he had just run across two fields. He looked up - Jared was striding away from Winchester, and Jensen knew he couldn't follow. He worried at his bottom lip before making up his mind. This was his last chance to tell Jared he loved him, and he had to tell him before he disappeared forever.
With a deep calming breath, Jensen forced his feet onto the bridge, and slowly edged toward the centre. His heart thudded, but not from running across the fields, but from fear. Jensen was frightened, could hear Caleb's warning words echo in his head, but his love for Jared drove him forward. His fingers ghosted across the stone of the bridge, blindly feeling for the symbol he knew was carved into the rock. He had carved it there himself, so many years ago to Jared, but only days for him. The symbol, one of the markers to the boundaries of his life. Jensen clenched his hand into a fist, when his finger tips stroked across the roughly carved symbol, and he stood frozen to the spot. Jensen looked up. "Jared."
Jensen held his breath, and watched as Jared stopped walking, his shoulders and poise becoming tense. "Please," Jensen whispered as he crossed his fingers, hoping against hope that Jared would give him a chance to explain. "Give me a chance to explain."
Jared stopped in his tracks. Hurt and confusion, in equal measures, pumped through his body. He loved Jensen, but right now he felt utterly lost, even betrayed. Stomping away, after his conversation with Caleb, hadn't made him feel any better, neither had squashing some small pretty blue flowers under his boots, resolving that they would be the first casualties of his new development. Instead of feeling triumphant, the action had made Jared feel childish, which in turn had made him even angrier, even more hurt and confused. Love muddled his brain, and Jared had the stupid urge to turn and rush into Jensen's arms, feel his warmth against his body, let Jensen whisper words of love, and tell him it was all a huge joke. Jared was proud that he managed to resist the temptation, stubbornly ignoring the strange churning in his stomach. He desperately wanted to believe, but Jared knew Caleb hadn't lied to him. It wasn't a joke; Jensen was leaving tonight. No, hell strike that Winchester was leaving tonight.
Jared glanced up the angry grey sky, the first drops of rain hitting his upturned face. "Oh great," he murmured, cursing his life. Anger coursed through his body once more, and not just from the rain; Jared couldn't believe that he had been so easily distracted from his beloved project, the city of his dreams. He had allowed himself to be sidetracked by pretty green eyes, an easy smile, and words that meant nothing. "You're wrong," the little voice in his head taunted.
Jared ground his teeth, channelling his hurt and anger, childishly deciding Jensen's farm would be first to be bull-dozed, and he would even drive the damn machine. Even if he couldn't see it in 2012, he growled. He swung around to face Jensen. "What makes you think you think you have anything to say that I wanna listen to right now?"
"Thank God," Jensen thought, as Jared turned to glare at him. He could clearly see the pain and hurt in Jared's expression, and Jensen felt sick to his stomach. But, an angry Jared, was better than no Jared at all. "Nothing I guess."
"Damn straight."
"I tried to tell you."
"You didn't try hard enough."
Jensen's hand still gripped the bridge, the carved symbol beneath his palm grounding and calming him slightly. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
"I don't give a damn what you did or didn't mean." Anger fuelled his hurt, and Jared wanted to hurt Jensen back. He pushed his now wet bangs out of his eyes. "You don't mean a thing to me," he shouted, hoping Jensen couldn't hear the lie in his tone.
The words stung, but Jensen knew he deserved Jared's anger, could hear the hurt in Jared's voice, almost see the tension in Jared's body, and guilt churned in his stomach; this was his fault. "I get you're mad at me, but just give me a chance to explain."
"You'll only lie to me again."
"I never lied to you."
"You didn't tell me the truth." Jared waved his arm in the air. "About you, and your stupid damn town."
"You didn't ask." The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them, and Jensen silently cursed his big mouth.
Jared glared. "So, now it's my fault for not asking the right questions?"
"You never got around to asking your questions."
"You distracted me."
"Didn't hear you complaining."
Jared growled, and pointed his finger at Jensen, not realising he had moved closer toward the bridge. "You put a spell on me."
Jensen couldn't help himself, he laughed despite the situation. "I put a spell on you?"
"Yeah."
"Nobody put a spell on anyone, Jared."
"Well somebody did in your freaky town."
"Now, you're being ridiculous."
"I'm being ridiculous. Well excuse me for being just a little freaked and a whole lot angry at you," Jared stabbed his finger against Jensen's chest. "I thought I meant something to you."
"You do."
"I don't believe you."
"That's your choice, but it's the truth," Jensen stepped back, and kicked at the dust, the guilt still swirling in his belly. "You mean everything to me, and I was kinda hoping I meant something to you too."
Jared stomped his foot, angry. It was stupid and childish, but it made him feel slightly better. "No, you don't mean a thing to me," he shouted. The expression on Jensen's face nearly broke his heart, and Jared shrugged blowing out a frustrated sigh. "Okay, so I'm lying. Yes … may be," he kicked at the ground himself. "You mean something to me."
Jensen couldn't help the small smile of relief, but knew he had a lot of making up to do, to get Jared to smile again. "I know I deserve your anger.
"Yeah. Yeah you do."
"Just let me try and explain."
"I heard all I needed to from Caleb."
"He didn't have time to tell you the whole story."
"He told me enough."
"Don't be such a stubborn asshole, and let me explain some more."
"No way," Jared shook his head, suddenly angry again. "You have nothing to say that I wanna hear."
"You could ask your questions."
"I should have asked them yesterday, when I first got to this godforsaken place, instead of letting you distract me."
Jensen snorted. "Like I said, I didn't hear you complaining."
Jared glared. "I'm getting outta here, away from you and all your mumbo jumbo. Before I get trapped by the voodoo that's going on around here."
"Mumbo jumbo? Voodoo?" Jensen frowned, confused.
"Yeah mumbo jumbo and voodoo assed freakiness."
"I have no idea what you're saying," Jensen admitted with another frown. "But I'm guessing it's not good."
"Damn right."
Jensen stared at Jared for a moment, watching a myriad of emotions cross Jared's face, from anger, to pain to confusion, and he swore he saw just a tiny bit of love. He desperately wanted to explain, but sensed Jared didn't want to listen. He kicked at the dirt again, his time was up. In a few hours, Jared would be lost to him forever, and he would have an eternity of regret. He sighed, and half-nodded at Jared. "Fair enough." Jensen turned away.
Despite his fury, panic surged through Jared, and he took a step forward. Jensen was leaving, and he would never know if the other man really loved him. You know already, his brain helpfully supplied. "Hey, you don't get to just walk away."
Jensen turned back to Jared. "You made it plain that you don't wanna listen to me."
"I changed my mind."
Jensen folded his arms across his chest. "You said Caleb told you everything you needed to know."
"I want to hear it from you," Jared said. "I think you owe me an explanation."
Jensen rolled his eyes. "May be I don't wanna tell you now."
It was Jared's turn to roll his eyes. "Jensen. Stop being a dickhead."
Jensen frowned, a look of confusion on his face. He blew out a sigh. "Jared, we don't even speak the same language."
"Now you're just being stupid. Words are just that, words. And I wanna know what the hell is going on around here. "
Jensen ignored Jared, instead making a line in the dirt with the toe of his boot. "See that line?"
Jared stared down at the wobbly line. "Wow, you can make a line in the dirt with your boot."
"This isn't an art project," Jensen snapped. "I'm trying to explain something. Something very important."
Jared pouted. "Fine, I see the line. So?"
"That line separates us."
"I don't understand." Jared frowned, staring down at the dirt again.
"It's easy for you to step across the mark, but me, I can never step over the line toward you, Jared."
"Why?"
"Because if I do, Winchester and all of its people will sleep forever."
Jared took a step back, his mouth open, but found he couldn't force any words out. He swallowed hard. "But I have plans to build a new city on this site. What would happen to Winchester then?" he finally managed to force out.
Jensen shrugged. "Honestly?"
"Yeah."
"I don't know."
"You don't know? How can you not know?"
"I just don't, it's that simple." Jensen removed his hand from the stone of the bridge revealing the carving. " This symbol marks one of the boundaries of our life here. If I step over, Winchester sleeps forever. Staying here was the price we were all prepared to pay."
"So I guess that building a city on this site wouldn't have done you or your town any good. I would have killed you all, and never known."
"Jared, you didn't know. How could you? You just happened along at the same time as Winchester," Jensen shrugged. "Visited."
Jared glared. "So not the point, Jensen."
It's the risk we all took. Those of us who stayed."
"Jensen."
Jensen shook his head. "I never meant to hurt you, and I'm so sorry."
Jared blew out a long sigh, and nodded. "I'm just sorta mad at you right now."
Taking a deep breath, Jensen reached out with one hand, desperately craving one last caress, but changed his mind; he was too close to a different time, to Jared's world. Jensen knew, without a doubt, that everything he wanted was one step away, but crossing over the line would mean Winchester suffering for his selfishness. Jensen jerked his hand away, and took a step backward, away from the line he had etched in the dirt. "I know."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Jensen looked down kicking at the dirt again. He looked up at Jared. "I don't know really. I planned to tell you right off even though you probably wouldn't have believed me. Thought I was a mad man or something."
"I'd have believed you."
Jensen cocked his head to one side. "Really?"
"Well okay, I would have thought you were a mad man." Jared admitted. "You still should have said something."
"Yeah I know, but I just felt … I don't know connected to you somehow, and I wanted you to stay, talk to me. But I promise, I was gonna tell you, answer all your questions, and then …. well then we…," Jensen shrugged. "Well, you know."
Jared nodded, feeling a blush spread across his face. "Yeah, I guess we kinda got carried away."
Jensen folded his arms across his chest. "I don't regret one moment of our time together, even when you were grumpy, and obsessed with maps and stuff."
"Grumpy huh?"
Jensen nodded. "I just wanted to feel normal for a little while, be with someone who I liked, who liked me back. Is that so very wrong?"
Jared blew out a calming breath, his anger slowly draining away, and shook his head. "You should have told me."
"I know, and it was selfish and kinda cruel, but I just wanted," Jensen shrugged. "To be with you. And I know I'll never be able to make it up to you. We don't have time, and that just about kills me." Tears welled up in Jensen's eyes, and he looked away. He wiped at his face, feeling suddenly stupid. He briefly closed his eyes, trying to calm himself. The light rain shower had drenched them both, and Jensen shivered despite the warmth in the air. "I'm sorry Jared, I really am."
Jared stepped over the dirt line. "I want to know everything."
"You do?"
"Don't leave anything out."
Jensen backed up, off the bridge, and slumped to the ground. He felt overwhelmed, and now given the chance to explain, Jensen didn't know where to start. He looked up at Jared. "I don't know where to start." One hand automatically went to his amulet, and he stroked it absently.
Jared could hear the desperation and sorrow in Jensen's voice, and he felt like his heart was going to break - for his pain and for Jensen's too. He blew out a breath, allowing the final remnants of his anger to drain away; Jared couldn't help feeling vaguely stupid at his vengeful thoughts. He still hurt, but Jensen deserved a chance to explain. Jared sat down, taking one of Jensen's hands in his own. "At the beginning is as good as place as anywhere." He squeezed Jensen's hand.
Next part continued here