A day in the life of a female
(as written by me, justin)
Ahhh. I just woke up. Time for me to lock the bathroom door for an hour and a half while I comb every hair on my head, and smear makeup all over my face, take a shit then spray my perfume so that no man will ever know that I do in fact shit.
When I'm done my husband/son/brother will need me to criticize his shirt, selection of pants, or boots, even though he doesn't really give a shit.
Hmm. Now it's 5 minutes after Justin gets off work, I should call him because he obviously wants to talk to me, he just hasn't called yet. Hmm. I've already called 15 times and it's 7:30! I need to call my other little friend so we can go to his house, maybe he fell down and broke both of his legs and he can't get to the phone! That would be the ONLY reason he didn't answer, because he REALLY HAS NO FUCKING SOCIAL LIFE OUTSIDE OF ME!
Why hasn't he asked me out yet!? Maybe it has to do with the fact that I talk like I was raised in Cabrini Green or Sunnyside heights, even though I have more trees than homies around my TRAILER.
...
...
Out.
Ahhh. I just woke up. Time for me to lock the bathroom door for an hour and a half while I comb every hair on my head, and smear makeup all over my face, take a shit then spray my perfume so that no man will ever know that I do in fact shit.
When I'm done my husband/son/brother will need me to criticize his shirt, selection of pants, or boots, even though he doesn't really give a shit.
Hmm. Now it's 5 minutes after Justin gets off work, I should call him because he obviously wants to talk to me, he just hasn't called yet. Hmm. I've already called 15 times and it's 7:30! I need to call my other little friend so we can go to his house, maybe he fell down and broke both of his legs and he can't get to the phone! That would be the ONLY reason he didn't answer, because he REALLY HAS NO FUCKING SOCIAL LIFE OUTSIDE OF ME!
Why hasn't he asked me out yet!? Maybe it has to do with the fact that I talk like I was raised in Cabrini Green or Sunnyside heights, even though I have more trees than homies around my TRAILER.
...
...
Out.