Rec: On the Importance of Doing Your Research (Especially Regarding Virgin Sacrifices)

[lyricwrites]

Story: On the Importance of Doing Your Research (Especially Regarding Virgin Sacrifices)
Author: Daystar Searcher
Rating: Teen.  The rating on the pictures in your head will probably be higher, though.
Word Count: 1593
Author's Summary: When selecting someone for virgin sacrifice, you should probably ask them a few questions first. Like, you know, whether or not they’re actually a virgin.
Characters/Pairings: Fourth Doctor/Sarah Jane Smith
Warnings: To quote the author: while there is no bdsm or explicit sex "onscreen" (hence the lack of warnings), there are oblique references to bdsm, many sexually suggestive lines, and one sexually graphic line of dialogue. Proceed at your own risk.

Recced because: It made me laugh.

Okay, yeah, I need a more in-depth reason than that, don't I?  Right.  So, there's a fair amount of fiction that reflects on how traveling in the TARDIS would change your viewpoint on things such as danger.  Sarah Jane Smith is an experienced companion, having traveled with two different incarnations of the Doctor.  She has been repeatedly kidnapped, hypnotized, tied up, and menaced by monsters and villains ranging from the terrifying to the ridiculous to the terrifying and ridiculous.
So it makes a hilarious and delicious amount of sense that, upon being kidnapped by a group of rather cut-rate evil cultists, her reaction would be essentially, "Pfft.  I've seen better."  And then they get to the bit about unsullied, pure virgin sacrifice, and . . . basically, if you want to see Sarah Jane get the better of a group of cultists simply by talking, you need to read this.


“We call upon you, oh fearsome and wrathful gods,” he continued, trying to ignore the fact that she was smirking at him, and focus instead on the breathing exercises that his voice instructor had assured him would do wonders with the acoustics of the sepulchral temple and did she just yawn? “We call upon you and offer in payment this fair maiden, untouched by man, unbreached by his lusts, pure and chaste in every-”

“Excuse me.”

She didn’t just say that. Sacrifices didn’t just say things like that. He had been a student observer at over a dozen sacrifices before he’d even been allowed to apply for the priesthood-let alone rise to Great Grand High Executioner-and sometimes they begged and pleaded, and sometimes they threatened, and sometimes they just wept, but they certainly didn’t say-

“I said, excuse me!”