it's been a while

[calskintat]

i had an affair with myspace for a while, but it's so huge where i live. every one uses it and talks about it and the thought of it makes me sick. so now i'm back to lj, talking to no one. i just like to have this place to make thought available to the unsuspecting public... even if no one reads it... i can get it out there.

i really want to be a photographer, but sometimes i am so scared to even try to do it. it scares me, because i see so much beauty in this world that fills me with emotion, and i fear that i cannot bring it out. that no one will be able to see how beautiful the world is to me. hopefully art school will help with that. if the art institute of seattle doesn't accept i don't know what i'll do with myself. i need to do that. i want to go to that school for photography, get a border collie and she/he will come with me to soccer practice.
also, seattle is the right city for me. calm, personable, a little depressing but so bright when the sun is shining... just like me. it has a great music scene. i feel i need to be there. plus, my best friend is there now. i miss amber so much. i have a feeling that i will find the love of my life there...

...where are you? what are you doing now? are thinking of me as much as i am thinking of you?... who ever you are.