So when it all comes down to it; I love you.
Listening to plain white t's when your heart is in confusion is both great and horrible at once. I never cease to amaze myself with situations I misconstrue as good. I find myself falling for another girl when I'm pretty sure that things will go badly, logically the whole thing is a bad idea, but I still can't stop thinking of her.
I can look back and see my mistakes and I can see hers as well so at least that's a small step in the right direction, right?
I'm wondering now if it really was a bad thing or was it just a series of unfortunate events? I know we both made mistakes but the times when we weren't messing up were amazing. I've never had anyone so easily and accidentally affect so strongly. A simple conversation and I can't get her out of my mind. She's beautiful and fiery and a girl filled with laughter and verve. But is it enough? Will anything ever be enough? Is it meant to last? Does it really even matter what happens to me? Maybe we'll get back together and maybe things won't work out again, maybe I'll get hurt, but maybe she'll learn something?
I thought I was over her, I've loved her the whole time we've been broken up, but that's normal for me, it's what I desire to feel, but it still feels so strong after all this time.
I screwed up in the first place and that one action threw me down a long and miserable road and made me something other than what I really am. So what if I had been myself, what if I had been stronger? Would there have been anger and malcontent? Would I have been able to handle all that happened with a smile. It's easy to look back and say yes, but is that the truth? Are we both too different now? I suspect that she's still pretty much the same, but I know that I'm not now.
Have I changed? I feel stronger and more honest now, I feel more capable and assertive in so many ways, but will I withstand future tests? Only time will tell.
She is so amazing in so many ways. That strength I know is in her has always awed me, her diversity and assertiveness. Her confidence and joy. Her weakness that she tries so hard to hide. And beautiful, so very beautiful. I miss her so badly, but perhaps I'm just lonely...
I'll think more and probably accomplish nothing. But if things do go wrong I hope she's happy in the end. I'll take any hurt if it means that someone I love is a little bit happier.
So when it all comes down to it; I love you.
I can look back and see my mistakes and I can see hers as well so at least that's a small step in the right direction, right?
I'm wondering now if it really was a bad thing or was it just a series of unfortunate events? I know we both made mistakes but the times when we weren't messing up were amazing. I've never had anyone so easily and accidentally affect so strongly. A simple conversation and I can't get her out of my mind. She's beautiful and fiery and a girl filled with laughter and verve. But is it enough? Will anything ever be enough? Is it meant to last? Does it really even matter what happens to me? Maybe we'll get back together and maybe things won't work out again, maybe I'll get hurt, but maybe she'll learn something?
I thought I was over her, I've loved her the whole time we've been broken up, but that's normal for me, it's what I desire to feel, but it still feels so strong after all this time.
I screwed up in the first place and that one action threw me down a long and miserable road and made me something other than what I really am. So what if I had been myself, what if I had been stronger? Would there have been anger and malcontent? Would I have been able to handle all that happened with a smile. It's easy to look back and say yes, but is that the truth? Are we both too different now? I suspect that she's still pretty much the same, but I know that I'm not now.
Have I changed? I feel stronger and more honest now, I feel more capable and assertive in so many ways, but will I withstand future tests? Only time will tell.
She is so amazing in so many ways. That strength I know is in her has always awed me, her diversity and assertiveness. Her confidence and joy. Her weakness that she tries so hard to hide. And beautiful, so very beautiful. I miss her so badly, but perhaps I'm just lonely...
I'll think more and probably accomplish nothing. But if things do go wrong I hope she's happy in the end. I'll take any hurt if it means that someone I love is a little bit happier.
So when it all comes down to it; I love you.