Hippos....
I've been thinking a whole lot about why I'm coming back to Moscow and I really haven't come up with an answer other than that it seems like the right thing to do. I'm making more money here and learning more than I could back in Moscow. I'm not going back to school, not for now at least. Yes I do miss my friends and yes Moscow is 'home' but what's my real driving reason? What is my purpose in coming back? Am I just stubborn and feel like I have some unfinished business? Am I so scared of being out of my comfort zone?
The answer, I don't know. I've always thought of myself as a thorough thinker and that I use my head more often than not, though I always tend to just follow my heart. But I just don't understand why my heart is so set on Moscow.
I think I'm getting better at my work, at least I hope I am. I don't get hurt nearly as much and I'm accomplishing a lot more than I was. And I've learned how to do a lot of things. In the end I get the feeling I'm just as confused as I ever was.
Now there's an excellent point, the drama and confusion will never end, but I think that the subject changes. And I can deal with that. Instead of being obsessed with following my heart to my 'true love' now I'm just confused why I'm moving. Some people might beg to differ, but I find that a decided improvement.
One thing I've been thinking about a lot that's been worrying me is that I need to learn. It's just a need I've always had and since I'm pretty much decided not to go back to school it's become a greater issue. The idea of stopping my education in any way horrifies me, because I detest ignorance, mostly within myself. So I've been reading the encyclopedia, I'm so grateful for these documents, makes me feel like I'm not a waste of space. By the way, did you know a hippo's canines get to be 20 inches?!?! Crazy eh?
I don't think myself greedy, but man I hope I can make close to what I'm making now, hahaha, oh well.
I haven't been writing, but at least I've been reading, apart from the encyclopedia that is. Journals don't really count in my opinion.
I'm pretty sick of dating. I think I'll try being single for a while, but who knows how long that will last, hahaha I'm pretty hilarious I think.
And in conclusion, my subaru looks pretty damn sweet, I'll post some pictures soon, anyone who's seen my car is bound to have their eyeballs fall out of there heads, haha.
Lots of love all, b-bye for now.
The answer, I don't know. I've always thought of myself as a thorough thinker and that I use my head more often than not, though I always tend to just follow my heart. But I just don't understand why my heart is so set on Moscow.
I think I'm getting better at my work, at least I hope I am. I don't get hurt nearly as much and I'm accomplishing a lot more than I was. And I've learned how to do a lot of things. In the end I get the feeling I'm just as confused as I ever was.
Now there's an excellent point, the drama and confusion will never end, but I think that the subject changes. And I can deal with that. Instead of being obsessed with following my heart to my 'true love' now I'm just confused why I'm moving. Some people might beg to differ, but I find that a decided improvement.
One thing I've been thinking about a lot that's been worrying me is that I need to learn. It's just a need I've always had and since I'm pretty much decided not to go back to school it's become a greater issue. The idea of stopping my education in any way horrifies me, because I detest ignorance, mostly within myself. So I've been reading the encyclopedia, I'm so grateful for these documents, makes me feel like I'm not a waste of space. By the way, did you know a hippo's canines get to be 20 inches?!?! Crazy eh?
I don't think myself greedy, but man I hope I can make close to what I'm making now, hahaha, oh well.
I haven't been writing, but at least I've been reading, apart from the encyclopedia that is. Journals don't really count in my opinion.
I'm pretty sick of dating. I think I'll try being single for a while, but who knows how long that will last, hahaha I'm pretty hilarious I think.
And in conclusion, my subaru looks pretty damn sweet, I'll post some pictures soon, anyone who's seen my car is bound to have their eyeballs fall out of there heads, haha.
Lots of love all, b-bye for now.