(no subject)
I feel like CRUD. I am so ready for some changes.
I'm tired of who I have been, who I am, and who I'm becoming.
I'm tired of letting people down.
I have no motivation for anything anymore. I know the little things that I need to do, but I can't get myself started. As far as long term goals or desires... I have none. I have no idea what I want to do with my life, and I've been told many times that I won't know for a while... that most people my age don't have it figured out... but at least they have some sort of idea... I am completely clueless. I feel like I'm running in place... like I'm doing the same thing over and over and getting no where. I'm tired of stupid little part time jobs... but I know I need them to be able to get where I need to get... a car, school, etc... but do I want to go to school??? Or do I want to go straight into ministry??
These are the times when all I can do is trust in God... these are the times when I need to just learn to let go, and remember that he is all I need, and that HE is in control. I have SO much to learn. I am no where near where I need to be as a Christian, and I know that God has so much work that he wants to do in me, and I just need to surrender, and let him do his will.
The problem is me doing exactly the opposite of what I KNOW I need to do. How will I learn that way??? I need to suck it up and start dealing with the hardships of life, because I know I will only get stronger from them... and more shaped into what God desires me to be. The only point of me being on this earth is for God to finish his work in me and thru me... and to do God's will, and be his servant. I am so selfish. I feel so lost. I just want to leave this place.
I'm tired of who I have been, who I am, and who I'm becoming.
I'm tired of letting people down.
I have no motivation for anything anymore. I know the little things that I need to do, but I can't get myself started. As far as long term goals or desires... I have none. I have no idea what I want to do with my life, and I've been told many times that I won't know for a while... that most people my age don't have it figured out... but at least they have some sort of idea... I am completely clueless. I feel like I'm running in place... like I'm doing the same thing over and over and getting no where. I'm tired of stupid little part time jobs... but I know I need them to be able to get where I need to get... a car, school, etc... but do I want to go to school??? Or do I want to go straight into ministry??
These are the times when all I can do is trust in God... these are the times when I need to just learn to let go, and remember that he is all I need, and that HE is in control. I have SO much to learn. I am no where near where I need to be as a Christian, and I know that God has so much work that he wants to do in me, and I just need to surrender, and let him do his will.
The problem is me doing exactly the opposite of what I KNOW I need to do. How will I learn that way??? I need to suck it up and start dealing with the hardships of life, because I know I will only get stronger from them... and more shaped into what God desires me to be. The only point of me being on this earth is for God to finish his work in me and thru me... and to do God's will, and be his servant. I am so selfish. I feel so lost. I just want to leave this place.