Quiet, so quiet it echos.
I think I really made a mistake about shifting hostel. It hasn't been even a week since I moved into my new hostel, and I'm not loving it one single bit - really.
It's too quiet, eerily quiet. I've never seen anyone along the corridors except just now when I was coming back up from my Laundry. I think it's also very quiet because my neighbour Heather opened her door almost immediately when she heard mine open and tried to strike a conversation with me.
To make matters worse, my apartment is massive, but only has 2 people staying inside. It doesn't help that my flatmate is forever missing, forever busy, forever out of sight. Even if she's at home, she's forever in her room, forever not coming out. Even if she eats, she eats in her own room, and not in the dining room. My roomie has warned me that she will probably not be at home often, but I didn't expect that even if she was at home, she's never...appearing.
To simply sum it up, I feel lonely here. It's not the matter about making friends or not, it's the environment that's really stressing me out. I don't mind alone-me time, but not 24hours a day. I literally need human interaction. In the past, I had Jennie strutting into my room every now and then to talk to me, or I'd pop over Jennie's room to talk to her; or sometimes I'd just go down to the kitchen and I can expect to find Asami there watching television, or banana or the other Malay girls. If I needed someone to talk, or needed some decent human interaction, I had it. Even if I'm in my own room, I don't feel lonely at all because I can hear activity going on outside, people going into the bathroom, people walking down the stairs, people coming in/out of their rooms and I had my roomie every now and then. Even, even if I had no one, I had Gingee.
But it's not the same here anymore. The whole design of the building, apartment, room makes everything very lonely and uncosy.
You know, suddenly I wished there was a normal human living with me. Normal people who watch tv, cook decent dinner (not instant stuff, or just tofu/eggs for dinner) and willing to just sit down and talk with me.
I swear it's the night that's killing. Because it's so dark and quiet and I have no one to talk to.
Sigh.
It's too quiet, eerily quiet. I've never seen anyone along the corridors except just now when I was coming back up from my Laundry. I think it's also very quiet because my neighbour Heather opened her door almost immediately when she heard mine open and tried to strike a conversation with me.
To make matters worse, my apartment is massive, but only has 2 people staying inside. It doesn't help that my flatmate is forever missing, forever busy, forever out of sight. Even if she's at home, she's forever in her room, forever not coming out. Even if she eats, she eats in her own room, and not in the dining room. My roomie has warned me that she will probably not be at home often, but I didn't expect that even if she was at home, she's never...appearing.
To simply sum it up, I feel lonely here. It's not the matter about making friends or not, it's the environment that's really stressing me out. I don't mind alone-me time, but not 24hours a day. I literally need human interaction. In the past, I had Jennie strutting into my room every now and then to talk to me, or I'd pop over Jennie's room to talk to her; or sometimes I'd just go down to the kitchen and I can expect to find Asami there watching television, or banana or the other Malay girls. If I needed someone to talk, or needed some decent human interaction, I had it. Even if I'm in my own room, I don't feel lonely at all because I can hear activity going on outside, people going into the bathroom, people walking down the stairs, people coming in/out of their rooms and I had my roomie every now and then. Even, even if I had no one, I had Gingee.
But it's not the same here anymore. The whole design of the building, apartment, room makes everything very lonely and uncosy.
You know, suddenly I wished there was a normal human living with me. Normal people who watch tv, cook decent dinner (not instant stuff, or just tofu/eggs for dinner) and willing to just sit down and talk with me.
I swear it's the night that's killing. Because it's so dark and quiet and I have no one to talk to.
Sigh.