i trust you

[calm_waters]

i am a dusty tumbleweed with no seed
scattering disarray and discontent
no spreading happiness when the truth
is lent i'm sorry just don't say hi
don't pick up the phone i understand

incapable of writing straightforwardly
perhaps it is insanity this is not a poem

i need out of this house fast. i loved
a man who didn't like the knot he'd tied
reality of my life. lessons learned and
they're hard ones. i don't really trust
anyone fully. not even you dear friends

i love you though. i'll do all i can for
you. trust is a fading grains of rice
through a sieve with thick holes pouring.

i'm happier independent. self serving
i'll serve you too. please let me. we
can all be servants and happy. i know
a path. i don't know companions.

i'm too sensitive. we're all too fallible. perhaps i even more than most.

preparing for the battle since birth. intensify. there are drugs taking the needed ones and they don't listen. there is a something loves!

i don't want to sleep alone. i don't want the dreams to come again, i don't want to remember them. i don't want this message. acceptance is the ultimate duty of sentience. only smear the blood so far, you know? dream medicine: in order to forget.