What would I do without email?
See it's so dumb how a lot of old people equate email with wasting time, in the same vein as tv or video games... of course most people know it's a vital information tool, but really, I need it so bad for keeping contact with my friends. Below is another email that I sent to my girlfriends... please note that any use of the c word is not used as serious conversation but a humorous expression, in that it's so brash.
Context: Written to Kathy, Megan, Alix and Mark, in response to Megan's email with a funny title.
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Oooh makes for a pretty exciting monday morning with the email title 'you won't believe this! fucken dumb slapper!'
Just quickly on Survivor, I was a bit disappointed, I was sure I'd be watching it at megan's then I was going to Michael's and I'm like oh. Then we were in the kitchen making tea, it was like 7:25, and he's like, 'seriously, there's something you should know, I really like survivor and I'm watching it tonight' I'm like score I can join in on the Survivor conversations with the girls! And then we're watching it and he's going 'yeah that's like that because in this other series...' I'm like shhh. Didn't say that though but I was thinking, I can get the history in the ad breaks. Then we're doing the full, other stuff around the house, bolt back to the tv when it comes back on.
Yeah had a great time with Michael. Of course. It was particularly special this weekend. Hanging out there having hot sex like we always do, then on Saturday night I had defintely been asleep maybe for half an hour, and he always just sort of spoons me or hugs me or has his hand on my waist or my hip... anyway I was facing the wall but I could tell he was awake because his hand was moving but it wasn't heaps vague. So I sort of turn around still half asleep, I'm hoping he's looking at me, and I open my eyes and he is looking at me, and it's so amazing he wasn't smiling or frowning he was just looking. and there was a heaps full moon and I could see that his eyes were like glistening, he wasn't crying. But we just slowly were like kissing and hugging heaps and after a whilst I asked him, 'is something wrong?' just because he hadn't started smiling or anything. Then I asked after a bit, 'what's on your mind'? Cause his eyes were glistening and I wanted to know what he was thinking and he goes 'nothing. just you'. Oooh yay it feels so good. Then he goes, 'i have to take you away for a weekend'. And I'm all, where? He's like I don't know. So I laid down the law and said somewhere north so it's hotter. ANYWAY that was getting a bit Markish what I was saying. 'he said hi, I said hi, he said how are you, I said good, true story!' Remember how that was on the simpsons, I always loved it, when Krusty is talking about the fundraiser to get little Timmy O'Toole out of that well, he talks about organising it; 'I said how's tuesday. He said I'm busy tuesday, I said how bout Wednesday he said Wednesday's no good either, then HE said, how bout Thursday. I said fine. TRUE STORY'! lol i know i've said that to yas a thousand times. but of course I don't care. Anyway i was talking about Michael, the girl was a lot better behaved this weekend and Michael and I had been paid so everything was peachy. I think as well cause as soon as I went there his daughter knew me so it was a bit more comfortable for her.
anyway before I was talking about survivor, I am not going to win the survivor sweep. Noooope. Even if the farmer has some strength I can't see him strategising. On the other hand that could be his strategy... don't jusge a book by it's ugly, ugly ugly cover. Sigh. Otherwise, what a bunch of girls with that hike... it's hard yes, but seriously, what bitches. I don't get that hey, it would be so difficult, but if some of them can do it all of them should be able to especially big tough men. I assume that the guy who had a branch fall on him that those spikes on it could have been poisonous? See that's pretty fair. The rest were just wimps.
Damn it my boss is in and I haven't even gotten to Penelope...
I've taken the high road for way too long. You guys know how it is, I never even used to know where the high road was. But my god. Penelope pitying MEGAN?! that's a larf... she's got nothing man! those guys moving into a unit is so funny... ten bucks says it's in Penrith. It's reminiscent of all those times I see couples with a young child walking around Penrith, the guy will be wearing like big ugly boots with shorts and crap jewellery, the chick will have bad roots, a long skirt and a tatt just above her butt crack there. Shudder. And they've both got such good taste... lol she should have stuck with us hey we're gonna turn out so good, she reached a cross roads and took the dark and stormy route, just like on Beauty and the Beast, 'come on Phillipe it's a short cut!' Before you know it, Penelope will be letting her 12 year old daughter smoke at the table in front of HER three kids... but in all seriousness, I need to let her know somehow, that my life experience being very much for my age and everything, that I have known some cunts, and she is the biggest festiest one of all. tee hee. i really do want to let her know that she's ridiculous... maybe I could write her a letter that talks about the mistakes I made and thank god I pulled my head out my arse in time.
what i was getting at is how I was a lot more silent than I felt like being most of the time, as we all were, that's very mature good for us but it's too far... she needs a kick in the cunt.
oh yes, to quote anyone's mum, the cat is out of the bag, re Michael and I here at work. That bitch Sally that I've told you about has reported to someone else that 'Michael and 'the receptionist' were seen in each other's personal space'. I tell you people have a lot more respect for me than her. but either way it's not like EVERYONE here knows but that mole would have told my boss Mick. So it's a good thing my Michael is going to be heading up this other branch for 3 weeks or it could get awkward.
ANYWAY next weekend, do you guys want to come to Hugo's cocktail bar on Saturday? It's in Kings Cross, everyone stay at my house, michaels coming... cocktails are expensive but if you have two you're ripped... tell me you will! It's for this deaf girl at work, it's not funny that she's deaf, but if you imagine her saying to Michael 'come home wiv me' in a big deaf voice, suddenly it's a bit funnier. in all seriousness though this chick's all right and apparently she has good friends like good to chat and you know. cocktails. if anyone doesn't have any dosh, you can share with me and michael or we'll all put in a bit whatever cause I'll need you's to be there to sit on arse with me when i have no money!
anyway gotta rock love yous xxx
Context: Written to Kathy, Megan, Alix and Mark, in response to Megan's email with a funny title.
****
Oooh makes for a pretty exciting monday morning with the email title 'you won't believe this! fucken dumb slapper!'
Just quickly on Survivor, I was a bit disappointed, I was sure I'd be watching it at megan's then I was going to Michael's and I'm like oh. Then we were in the kitchen making tea, it was like 7:25, and he's like, 'seriously, there's something you should know, I really like survivor and I'm watching it tonight' I'm like score I can join in on the Survivor conversations with the girls! And then we're watching it and he's going 'yeah that's like that because in this other series...' I'm like shhh. Didn't say that though but I was thinking, I can get the history in the ad breaks. Then we're doing the full, other stuff around the house, bolt back to the tv when it comes back on.
Yeah had a great time with Michael. Of course. It was particularly special this weekend. Hanging out there having hot sex like we always do, then on Saturday night I had defintely been asleep maybe for half an hour, and he always just sort of spoons me or hugs me or has his hand on my waist or my hip... anyway I was facing the wall but I could tell he was awake because his hand was moving but it wasn't heaps vague. So I sort of turn around still half asleep, I'm hoping he's looking at me, and I open my eyes and he is looking at me, and it's so amazing he wasn't smiling or frowning he was just looking. and there was a heaps full moon and I could see that his eyes were like glistening, he wasn't crying. But we just slowly were like kissing and hugging heaps and after a whilst I asked him, 'is something wrong?' just because he hadn't started smiling or anything. Then I asked after a bit, 'what's on your mind'? Cause his eyes were glistening and I wanted to know what he was thinking and he goes 'nothing. just you'. Oooh yay it feels so good. Then he goes, 'i have to take you away for a weekend'. And I'm all, where? He's like I don't know. So I laid down the law and said somewhere north so it's hotter. ANYWAY that was getting a bit Markish what I was saying. 'he said hi, I said hi, he said how are you, I said good, true story!' Remember how that was on the simpsons, I always loved it, when Krusty is talking about the fundraiser to get little Timmy O'Toole out of that well, he talks about organising it; 'I said how's tuesday. He said I'm busy tuesday, I said how bout Wednesday he said Wednesday's no good either, then HE said, how bout Thursday. I said fine. TRUE STORY'! lol i know i've said that to yas a thousand times. but of course I don't care. Anyway i was talking about Michael, the girl was a lot better behaved this weekend and Michael and I had been paid so everything was peachy. I think as well cause as soon as I went there his daughter knew me so it was a bit more comfortable for her.
anyway before I was talking about survivor, I am not going to win the survivor sweep. Noooope. Even if the farmer has some strength I can't see him strategising. On the other hand that could be his strategy... don't jusge a book by it's ugly, ugly ugly cover. Sigh. Otherwise, what a bunch of girls with that hike... it's hard yes, but seriously, what bitches. I don't get that hey, it would be so difficult, but if some of them can do it all of them should be able to especially big tough men. I assume that the guy who had a branch fall on him that those spikes on it could have been poisonous? See that's pretty fair. The rest were just wimps.
Damn it my boss is in and I haven't even gotten to Penelope...
I've taken the high road for way too long. You guys know how it is, I never even used to know where the high road was. But my god. Penelope pitying MEGAN?! that's a larf... she's got nothing man! those guys moving into a unit is so funny... ten bucks says it's in Penrith. It's reminiscent of all those times I see couples with a young child walking around Penrith, the guy will be wearing like big ugly boots with shorts and crap jewellery, the chick will have bad roots, a long skirt and a tatt just above her butt crack there. Shudder. And they've both got such good taste... lol she should have stuck with us hey we're gonna turn out so good, she reached a cross roads and took the dark and stormy route, just like on Beauty and the Beast, 'come on Phillipe it's a short cut!' Before you know it, Penelope will be letting her 12 year old daughter smoke at the table in front of HER three kids... but in all seriousness, I need to let her know somehow, that my life experience being very much for my age and everything, that I have known some cunts, and she is the biggest festiest one of all. tee hee. i really do want to let her know that she's ridiculous... maybe I could write her a letter that talks about the mistakes I made and thank god I pulled my head out my arse in time.
what i was getting at is how I was a lot more silent than I felt like being most of the time, as we all were, that's very mature good for us but it's too far... she needs a kick in the cunt.
oh yes, to quote anyone's mum, the cat is out of the bag, re Michael and I here at work. That bitch Sally that I've told you about has reported to someone else that 'Michael and 'the receptionist' were seen in each other's personal space'. I tell you people have a lot more respect for me than her. but either way it's not like EVERYONE here knows but that mole would have told my boss Mick. So it's a good thing my Michael is going to be heading up this other branch for 3 weeks or it could get awkward.
ANYWAY next weekend, do you guys want to come to Hugo's cocktail bar on Saturday? It's in Kings Cross, everyone stay at my house, michaels coming... cocktails are expensive but if you have two you're ripped... tell me you will! It's for this deaf girl at work, it's not funny that she's deaf, but if you imagine her saying to Michael 'come home wiv me' in a big deaf voice, suddenly it's a bit funnier. in all seriousness though this chick's all right and apparently she has good friends like good to chat and you know. cocktails. if anyone doesn't have any dosh, you can share with me and michael or we'll all put in a bit whatever cause I'll need you's to be there to sit on arse with me when i have no money!
anyway gotta rock love yous xxx