(no subject)
hmm
no one reads this thing so i guess it's safe to write whatever i want. livejournal is so dead. i have another blog, which i was going to make a music blog, but then i got lazy.
yesterday zane came over and i had him help me look for my birth certificate which i knew was in one of the shoeboxes in my closet. i needed it because i had to renew my lisence today and on the website it said i would need it. the first shoebox i opened did not contain my birth certificate. but i found a picture of me and jamie, notes from melissa and pat on diner placemats and cigarette foil wrappers, a slide of greg and me from when we put his portfolio together for mica, ticket from napoleon dynamite, ticket from some phillies game we took lara to....god, i wish some things could go back to the way they used to be. i miss lara so much, i don't even know if she has the same number. i texted her a couple times but she never got back to me. and pat and melissa are a million miles away and i swear i never realized how sane those two kept me. all those friendships morphed into different things, it's weird how that happens. how people fall apart and fall back into eachother again. but i think some friends i'll have forever. like pat and haley and melissa.
the second box i went into also did not contain my birth certificate. it did, however, hold records of notes and letters from my old friends and boyfriends from high school. i read a couple. it's funny how intense these boys thought their love was for me. it's like dude, you're fifteen. this one boy was a mormon and i was with him for awhile freshman year. we never even saw eachother, he was never allowed out and stuff. i don't think that had anything to do with his religion, he was just never allowed out. anyway i remember i used to go watch him skate at drug emporium haha and behind wesco which is now future fitness or something? who knows. that was life before driving. that was shane. last i heard he moved to texas and smokes opium. he was straight edge when he was here. i hope he's doing ok, he was a good person. anyway these notes he wrote me were ridiculous, just his confessions of his supposed love for me and how he wished we could like run away together and shit. before that...and after that...and after that again was brandon. we were off and on like all throughout high school. it was like every time i would break up with someone i'd just go back to him. we were more friends than anything though, and we always stayed friends when we broke up. it's so weird to think about that now, how we always stayed friends even when we were with other people we would be friends. we would break up and then hang out with eachother the next week with our new boyfriend and girlfriend! and it didn't even bother us. i could never do that with anyone now. anyway his letters weren't that intense, just accounts of the day and stuff. he joined the navy and is married now and trying to have a kid last i heard from him. his brother lives in my development and has a new baby with a girl i graduated with. and then there were a bunch of letters from a bunch of other people. some of them are really funny. i never understood really why i shoved some of them into a box and never threw them away, but i guess i understood last night. then there were the andy songs and letters. and they were intense. and i even showed zane one from himself, haha..
when you're that age you're like an addict, confusing love with the intensity of an experience. in different stages of your life, love and friendship mean different things. now i think it's more about loyalty, but the passion's still gotta be there to keep it together. i'm very happy where i am and who i'm with. i don't miss the drama, but i do miss the mix tapes...and my far away friends.
i did find my birth certificate in the last box i looked in. and when i went to the dmv today, they didn't even need it.
no one reads this thing so i guess it's safe to write whatever i want. livejournal is so dead. i have another blog, which i was going to make a music blog, but then i got lazy.
yesterday zane came over and i had him help me look for my birth certificate which i knew was in one of the shoeboxes in my closet. i needed it because i had to renew my lisence today and on the website it said i would need it. the first shoebox i opened did not contain my birth certificate. but i found a picture of me and jamie, notes from melissa and pat on diner placemats and cigarette foil wrappers, a slide of greg and me from when we put his portfolio together for mica, ticket from napoleon dynamite, ticket from some phillies game we took lara to....god, i wish some things could go back to the way they used to be. i miss lara so much, i don't even know if she has the same number. i texted her a couple times but she never got back to me. and pat and melissa are a million miles away and i swear i never realized how sane those two kept me. all those friendships morphed into different things, it's weird how that happens. how people fall apart and fall back into eachother again. but i think some friends i'll have forever. like pat and haley and melissa.
the second box i went into also did not contain my birth certificate. it did, however, hold records of notes and letters from my old friends and boyfriends from high school. i read a couple. it's funny how intense these boys thought their love was for me. it's like dude, you're fifteen. this one boy was a mormon and i was with him for awhile freshman year. we never even saw eachother, he was never allowed out and stuff. i don't think that had anything to do with his religion, he was just never allowed out. anyway i remember i used to go watch him skate at drug emporium haha and behind wesco which is now future fitness or something? who knows. that was life before driving. that was shane. last i heard he moved to texas and smokes opium. he was straight edge when he was here. i hope he's doing ok, he was a good person. anyway these notes he wrote me were ridiculous, just his confessions of his supposed love for me and how he wished we could like run away together and shit. before that...and after that...and after that again was brandon. we were off and on like all throughout high school. it was like every time i would break up with someone i'd just go back to him. we were more friends than anything though, and we always stayed friends when we broke up. it's so weird to think about that now, how we always stayed friends even when we were with other people we would be friends. we would break up and then hang out with eachother the next week with our new boyfriend and girlfriend! and it didn't even bother us. i could never do that with anyone now. anyway his letters weren't that intense, just accounts of the day and stuff. he joined the navy and is married now and trying to have a kid last i heard from him. his brother lives in my development and has a new baby with a girl i graduated with. and then there were a bunch of letters from a bunch of other people. some of them are really funny. i never understood really why i shoved some of them into a box and never threw them away, but i guess i understood last night. then there were the andy songs and letters. and they were intense. and i even showed zane one from himself, haha..
when you're that age you're like an addict, confusing love with the intensity of an experience. in different stages of your life, love and friendship mean different things. now i think it's more about loyalty, but the passion's still gotta be there to keep it together. i'm very happy where i am and who i'm with. i don't miss the drama, but i do miss the mix tapes...and my far away friends.
i did find my birth certificate in the last box i looked in. and when i went to the dmv today, they didn't even need it.