The Quest for Camelot

[callowyn]

I was wandering through merlin_finders  the other day, and decided I wanted to do for the Merlin fandom what linabean did for the SGA fandom with her found poem called, funnily enough, Found. Found poems are made by stealing phrases from another source and rearranging them into something poetic; the quotes below are all from merlin_finders, an incredibly useful place that is much less cracky than I make it out to be.

(And yes, the title is a reference to the Disney movie. Which technically is not a Disney movie at all, but Warner Bros. My bad.)



The Quest for Camelot

I'm looking for a fic.
I know that it was posted
somewhere
I was wondering if anyone remembers the story
this is going to sound really vague
I couldn't find it anywhere.
I've looked everywhere for this
but I can't find it.
Right now,
I can't find it.

I want something funny to cheer me up
I want some fluffy fics
I prefer the darker, more angsty ones
with maybe a little hurt/comfort
I’m looking for fics set in modern times
Anything very plotty
as long as the word count is high.
What I’m looking for is
the porniest porn that ever did porn in the fandom.

Merlin/Arthur slash is preferred
I dearly love Merlin/Arthur
Pairing has to be Merin/Arthur please
Slash, any rating.
Gen is also okay
as long as the pairing is Merlin/Arthur.

People want them to be together
because they love Arthur and want to see him happy.
They are being their usual
bickery selves.

I'm pretty new in this fandom
I'm not sure if I'm doing everything right
I don't really know where to start

Arthur knows about Merlin's magic
Arthur finds out about Merlin's magic
Arthur discovers Lancelot knew
before Arthur did.
Arthur had his own magic.
Merlin was found out as a sorceror
and executed.
Things work things out in the end.

I'm looking for a fic
where Arthur is in danger
where Arthur was poisoned by a mysterious girl
where Arthur wants to be a girl.
Merlin leaves Camelot
while pregnant.

I'm sorry that I'm using this comm so much lately
I’ve been in the midst of an emotional roller coaster
I've also recently gone through
a very traumatic and painful event.
Once again I turn to you for help.

I'll keep this simple:
Arthur gives Merlin a fur jacket he calls Furry
while Ealdor is being attacked
the celebration quickly gets out of hand
Arthur keeps finding Merlin in flagrante
with another knight, and Arthur is jealous
there's something about an elephant
they sneak out to fight demons
Merlin performs magic on the street for money
and then they end up in the British Library
Arthur is possessed by Nimueh
and put in prison for three days
because he refused to stop kissing his boyfriend
which possibly had something to do
with unicorns
Merlin is great in bed
Arthur can't love him back
the word “clotpole” is mentioned
it’s all a bit awkward.
I'm a little fuzzy on the details.

I'm fairly certain I read this story recently
I'm sure this will be found quicker than you can blink
I'll be heartbroken if they didn't
I'm sure it was in kinkme_merlin somewhere
my Google searching has failed me
I suck with the deliciousing
I can't find it in my bookmarks
A little help, please.

Merlin is a blushing virgin
Merlin's a total slut.
Merlin starts sleeping with Arthur
he and Merlin go all the way
Arthur and Merlin are shagging
and they proceed to totally get it on in public.

Merlin is painfully in love with Arthur
Merlin tells Arthur he loves him
Merlin is the only man Arthur would sleep with
because he loves Merlin.
Arthur is in love with Merlin
and would do anything for him.
Merlin is immortal and waiting
for Arthur.

Are there any more fics out there?
Please, please

I want it all