How I Almost Shit Myself
Last night, I wasn't feeling well. In fact, I felt icky enough to pop two Nyquil and crawl into bed by 9 PM, which you may know is really fucking early for me. By ten PM, I was just about to turn the lights out and pass out. At that moment, however, Mom came in and was like "Is it too late for us to watch a movie?"
By "us" she meant everyone in the house, and they wanted to watch the movie on the wall in my room. Hooray. I said fine because I was really too tired to care. They popped in Robots and I fell asleep sometime around the part where Fender gets thrown into the Chop Shop. When I woke sometime later, the room was dark, the projector was off, and everyone was gone. Yay.
I got up to use the bathroom, stumbling like a blind man because A. I was tired and B. I was drugged up and C. it was dark as fuck in my room. But I made it there, and I made it back.
I collapsed into bed and settled into my familiar nest of pillows and blankets and began the process of drifting off again. But after a few minutes, something happened.
You know when you're lying on carpet, and you drag your foot across it, and it makes that raspy noise? Which is totally ok in daytime, but in a dark room after midnight when you think you're alone? NOT OKAY. And that is the exact noise I heard. I froze. Wondered if I had imagined it. Held my breath and listened hard.
It happened again. I prayed to sweet Baby Jesus that no demon was going to eat me tonight, sat up in bed, and said very loudly "WHO IS IN HERE???"
No answer. I tried again. Still no answer. Scared but doing okay, I flipped on the light and got out of bed. And there on the floor on the other side of the couch was.....Jill. Asleep on the floor using my squid as a pillow.
What the actual fuck?
"Hey. HEY. HEY!!" No response. "JILL!!" She bolted upright and looked around. She must have fallen asleep during the movie and no one bothered to wake her after, or remove her from my room. The following conversation occurred, with no effort on her part to get up.
"What are you doing?"
"Um....sleeping."
"Your room is ten steps away."
"Yeah."
"In that direction."
"Yeah."
"The door is right there."
"I know."
.......
"Jill, get out of my room."
"FINE! God, I just want to *incoherent angry mumbling*"
She stalked off and slammed her door shut. No idea why she's mad at me, since I had every right to kick her out of my room after she fell asleep in it and creeped the shit out of me.
My life.....I don't understand it.
By "us" she meant everyone in the house, and they wanted to watch the movie on the wall in my room. Hooray. I said fine because I was really too tired to care. They popped in Robots and I fell asleep sometime around the part where Fender gets thrown into the Chop Shop. When I woke sometime later, the room was dark, the projector was off, and everyone was gone. Yay.
I got up to use the bathroom, stumbling like a blind man because A. I was tired and B. I was drugged up and C. it was dark as fuck in my room. But I made it there, and I made it back.
I collapsed into bed and settled into my familiar nest of pillows and blankets and began the process of drifting off again. But after a few minutes, something happened.
You know when you're lying on carpet, and you drag your foot across it, and it makes that raspy noise? Which is totally ok in daytime, but in a dark room after midnight when you think you're alone? NOT OKAY. And that is the exact noise I heard. I froze. Wondered if I had imagined it. Held my breath and listened hard.
It happened again. I prayed to sweet Baby Jesus that no demon was going to eat me tonight, sat up in bed, and said very loudly "WHO IS IN HERE???"
No answer. I tried again. Still no answer. Scared but doing okay, I flipped on the light and got out of bed. And there on the floor on the other side of the couch was.....Jill. Asleep on the floor using my squid as a pillow.
What the actual fuck?
"Hey. HEY. HEY!!" No response. "JILL!!" She bolted upright and looked around. She must have fallen asleep during the movie and no one bothered to wake her after, or remove her from my room. The following conversation occurred, with no effort on her part to get up.
"What are you doing?"
"Um....sleeping."
"Your room is ten steps away."
"Yeah."
"In that direction."
"Yeah."
"The door is right there."
"I know."
.......
"Jill, get out of my room."
"FINE! God, I just want to *incoherent angry mumbling*"
She stalked off and slammed her door shut. No idea why she's mad at me, since I had every right to kick her out of my room after she fell asleep in it and creeped the shit out of me.
My life.....I don't understand it.