(no subject)
So Star let me barrow her DMX cd to burn and it popped into my head this is "It's dark and Hell is hot" the cd i used to take from Rob on the bus and give back on our walk home. this is the cd that on track 8 is one of my fave songs. I hadnt heard it in years since 7th grade and before i even put it in I was singing the song... then i put the cd in and realized it was a fake copy. some one had burned it and put a sticker on it that looked like that cd. it wasnt it though cause my fave song isnt on it. ugh. I wanted to hear it too. so i downloaded it to have it all to myself. haha.
so dennis is teaching me how to deer hunt. we're going on a trip sometime and i'm going to shoot stuff. hey maybe it'll help me with someone my pent up frustration. ha.
i had a really bad dream lastnight. not so much a nightmare because it wasnt like one more of a wow this really hit me because when i woke up i was already crying. i cant remember most of it... it's all vage now because most of the day i think i was just trying to forget it. i dreampt i told my mother to her face that i hated her. and all this other shit and we got in this huge fist fight and i really hurt her and again told her i hated her. i never hated her and i would never lay a hand on her. she was my life line why would i do that? I dont know but it really hurt to think that my subconscience hated my mother. i cried most of the morning.
so i have to work tomorrow and i think i'm going to go and get some sleep. its just everytime i close my eyes i picture my mother balling because i'd just told her i hated her. stupid dreams. i dont understand them for the life of me.
until next time
*~ I miss you babydoll ~*
so dennis is teaching me how to deer hunt. we're going on a trip sometime and i'm going to shoot stuff. hey maybe it'll help me with someone my pent up frustration. ha.
i had a really bad dream lastnight. not so much a nightmare because it wasnt like one more of a wow this really hit me because when i woke up i was already crying. i cant remember most of it... it's all vage now because most of the day i think i was just trying to forget it. i dreampt i told my mother to her face that i hated her. and all this other shit and we got in this huge fist fight and i really hurt her and again told her i hated her. i never hated her and i would never lay a hand on her. she was my life line why would i do that? I dont know but it really hurt to think that my subconscience hated my mother. i cried most of the morning.
so i have to work tomorrow and i think i'm going to go and get some sleep. its just everytime i close my eyes i picture my mother balling because i'd just told her i hated her. stupid dreams. i dont understand them for the life of me.
until next time
*~ I miss you babydoll ~*