Luck? Fuck no...

[callmeoceaneyes]

Wow what a night. My "best friend" supposedly is blaming herself for tons of shit that she shouldn't even really be worried about. Then again, who knows...I don't. She confuses the fuck out of me sometimes. It all started because I stayed at Kira's for a few days... ffs, sorry. Anyhow she got into all this bullshit, and I didn't get mad or

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[a_kiss_divine]

We all have feelings to express, and I must tell you this though, with you being at Kira's that was fine, it doesn't bother me. I keep trying to tell everyone that. But it's not getting through. I've been over on my lunch, even came over today, and I wasn't upset about anything, I told Kira that we are all friends, it doesn't matter who hangs out with who. I don't get mad if you are over there, but there are times I do feel left out, but it happens, but I try to see it in a positive way.

We have everyday for eternity to see each other, I don't want to lose our friendship. But I do care, I care a lot. I love all my friends and I would do anything to help them. I'm just scared that I'm going to hurt people, I know I don't need to be, but it does.

I've lost friends before, for things I'm not even sure of, but you moving back is the best thing for me, cause we can have this time in our lives to live. So what that you go over to Kira's, hon, I am so fine with that, believe me, There will be a day that I'm off and we can all veg out at Kira's, no problems there, Kira knows it's my job that gets in the way and I have messed up hours. She understands.

But if there is something bothering you about me, please, by god, tell me so I can correct it. I don't want you to leave because of problems, we all get them, and I still want to be roommates, don't let this get in the way. Like you I've been crying, my life is hectic, I'm getting stressed with work, the tragedy is pissing me off, and I guess I let it out on the people I love in a weird way. But I'm trying, I'm trying really hard.

So I hope to GOD you don't plan to leave again, I doubt I'll be able to handle that. Friends I've had before always moved away and I hate it, I hate that feeling of saying "goodbye". But I love you dearly my best friend. A LOT! Hell I would take a bullet for you, but let's just hope that doesn't happen okay. Death scares me enough. :) I hope that at least made ya smile. Love you sister, a lot! More than I love my own Brother. *cough* Adam that is. Hahaha.