(no subject)
why is it that when we think things will level out they really don't at all? leveling out is code for, the worst is over, now you are just going to sit in it and watch yourself become soiled.
i suppose i could dig myself out of this hole, i suppose i put myself in there in the first place. but i don't know how to. that or i don't want to. i don't know which is more scary.
when my dad tells me that i'm working to much i disagree blatantly to his face. i lie to him while looking him in the eye. i'm terrified to tell him that if i'm not drowning myself in work then i don't know what to do with myself.
dear everyone, i don't know what to do with myself.
this is the last bit of my livejournal. this broadcasting nonsense only opens up the taps to submerge me deeper in the shit and the water. i wish someone would listen to me without listening to me whine. my whining. its the only way i know how to communicate. and it stresses people out. i am very aware of the fact that i stress people out.
i don't know how to communicate without whining. how can i be positive? where are my opinions? where is my sensitivity?
i can only blame one person. mom.
hahaha i'm such a little bitch.
surprise maggi.
surprise maggi.
cut me open, for am i too afraid to do it myself.
i suppose i could dig myself out of this hole, i suppose i put myself in there in the first place. but i don't know how to. that or i don't want to. i don't know which is more scary.
when my dad tells me that i'm working to much i disagree blatantly to his face. i lie to him while looking him in the eye. i'm terrified to tell him that if i'm not drowning myself in work then i don't know what to do with myself.
dear everyone, i don't know what to do with myself.
this is the last bit of my livejournal. this broadcasting nonsense only opens up the taps to submerge me deeper in the shit and the water. i wish someone would listen to me without listening to me whine. my whining. its the only way i know how to communicate. and it stresses people out. i am very aware of the fact that i stress people out.
i don't know how to communicate without whining. how can i be positive? where are my opinions? where is my sensitivity?
i can only blame one person. mom.
hahaha i'm such a little bitch.
surprise maggi.
surprise maggi.
cut me open, for am i too afraid to do it myself.