i don't really know anymore
I miss when things were simple. I'm not really sure when that was, but I wish it weren't so far from where I am now.
Right now, sitting here at my desk at 2:38AM, I should be doing my homework. Actually, I should have done my homework hours and days ago and I should be sleeping now. I have no reason to still be up. But my head's a mess these days. I spent over an hour at the aTunes music store the other day, so I've got a brand new soundtrack for my distress these days.
Kim and I went to the Progressive Alliance meeting tonight, we're planning the Give A Damn Fair, to take place in Campus Center here at IC next Wednesday. The PA is a collaboration of all the progressive groups here on campus. We had a really great meeting tonight. Each group is going to research current legislation that relates to their group's cause, and present a take-action opportunity next week in the North Foyer. It should be wild.
I saw Chris this weekend at the mall. His blond hair grew out, and he looks much better with all brown. But according to myspace, he's in a relationship. Which means game's off.
Saw GNK Boy again last week. Why is he still so damn cute?
Matt's chillin in NH of course. We haven't talked much at all lately, even though I've been wanting to talk to him and trying to make contact for what seems like ages. He finally responded to one of my emails, and we IMed the other morning. I called him tonight - there's a problem with his newest longboard - the kevlar edge wrap is giving him shit, apparently. I don't really know enough about the whole process to know what that means, but he has re-do the whole thing, I guess.
There are a lot of people I think I love, but it turns out they're all just an idea. I think it's what I want, but when I get up close I realize it's all these little parts that I like, and the big picture doesn't do it for me - or the other way around, I don't know anymore.
It shouldn't be this much work. To just be happy, to just be good. But it is, and I don't really know what to do about that. I've definitely never thought of myself as someone who needs a guy to make me feel good, but I'm sick of looking around seeing boys I think I'd be great with, only to have then disagree, or to disagree myself.
So I'll just keep drinking coffee and stare at this reader until I give up and go to bed, only to wake up to a full day of things I don't want to get out of bed for.
Right now, sitting here at my desk at 2:38AM, I should be doing my homework. Actually, I should have done my homework hours and days ago and I should be sleeping now. I have no reason to still be up. But my head's a mess these days. I spent over an hour at the aTunes music store the other day, so I've got a brand new soundtrack for my distress these days.
Kim and I went to the Progressive Alliance meeting tonight, we're planning the Give A Damn Fair, to take place in Campus Center here at IC next Wednesday. The PA is a collaboration of all the progressive groups here on campus. We had a really great meeting tonight. Each group is going to research current legislation that relates to their group's cause, and present a take-action opportunity next week in the North Foyer. It should be wild.
I saw Chris this weekend at the mall. His blond hair grew out, and he looks much better with all brown. But according to myspace, he's in a relationship. Which means game's off.
Saw GNK Boy again last week. Why is he still so damn cute?
Matt's chillin in NH of course. We haven't talked much at all lately, even though I've been wanting to talk to him and trying to make contact for what seems like ages. He finally responded to one of my emails, and we IMed the other morning. I called him tonight - there's a problem with his newest longboard - the kevlar edge wrap is giving him shit, apparently. I don't really know enough about the whole process to know what that means, but he has re-do the whole thing, I guess.
There are a lot of people I think I love, but it turns out they're all just an idea. I think it's what I want, but when I get up close I realize it's all these little parts that I like, and the big picture doesn't do it for me - or the other way around, I don't know anymore.
It shouldn't be this much work. To just be happy, to just be good. But it is, and I don't really know what to do about that. I've definitely never thought of myself as someone who needs a guy to make me feel good, but I'm sick of looking around seeing boys I think I'd be great with, only to have then disagree, or to disagree myself.
So I'll just keep drinking coffee and stare at this reader until I give up and go to bed, only to wake up to a full day of things I don't want to get out of bed for.