What concerns me is peace. Happiness. The lives of my friends- and you too. Protecting them and my home. What concerns me is the idea of you going to find a damn fight because you think our existence right now is fucking inconsequential!
[Is Naruto angry? Oh yes, Naruto is angry. Naruto is pretty furious and it’s probably audible.]
Konoha stands for peace. Always has. Peace is real so long as people want it. You don’t get to piss on that and call it an illusion when people have bled for it.
You don’t.
We don’t go looking for wars, Nagato. If we have to, we protect ourselves- It’s not our damn right to choose who lives and who dies! No power in the world gives us that right. When someone brings a war to our front gates, that still doesn’t give us the right to decide who lives and who dies.
Have you forgotten everything Jiraiya taught us!? Have you forgotten what he lived for- died for?
You think Yahiko died so you’d have to fight until you died too?
Do you?Do you actually think that? Do you think he died so you could go
( ... )
Some would say I should have already died, rather than live in this disgraceful condition, but I have lived on, and fought on, to spite that opinion that my disability makes me weak . . . and worthless.
But I loathe and fear worthlessness.
I do not intend to lie in bed and suffer mindlessly for the rest of my life.
I have never taken that route, though I suppose it is what some believe I would do best to seek.
If you deny me my ability to be a ninja, then I might as well be giving up.
I . . . might as well be merely weak, and a physical horror. And nothing more.
[A stretch of silence. Naruto is trying not to get angrier. He’s not quite succeeding.]
Do you know what I’d give to see you smile?
…
What the hell kind of life do you want for yourself? A life of war? A life of fighting? There’s more to life than that and if you just looked instead of being so damn sure that unless you fight you’re worthless--
That’s bullshit.
You’re not fucking worthless- --do you think I’m worthless?
Gonna ask you that right now.
If I want to be happy, if I think that what you’re doing is dangerous and stupid and if I want something else, then am I worthless to you?
I’m not denying you your ability to be a damn ninja! I’m not trying to do that!
But being a ninja isn’t about going out and finding a fight! It’s about protecting too and there’s more than one way to do that! There are other ways you can do that and still be a ninja! I’m not denying you anything, I’m asking you to look at it another way!
You, and these other people -- you speak of wanting me to be happier, but what I hear is that you want me to subjugate my desires beneath your own.
You want me to shut up, stop making noise, and go die away from your line of sight, so you can all have your happy lives --
-- free of that detestable broken man who will not stop bothering you with his stirring of the water, and his different views.
I see how it is.
It's conform to your views, or else.
You are able-bodied.
You cannot possibly understand the fear of physical worthlessness as I do.
I do not hold this over your head, but do not pretend as if you have made a sincere effort to understand my view of this situation, because you have not. The lot of you assume I can easily accommodate myself and be like the rest of you.
I am myself: I am not a sheep in the herd.
If your methods work for you, then more is the better, but I would not so easily assume they are suited to me.
You're drawing a goddamn line where there doesn’t need to be one!
These people are YOUR PEOPLE! Your wife! Konan! Your husbands! Me and Madara! Your friends! The only walls in this place are the ones around this village and the ones you keep putting up to keep yourself separate from us!
If I wanted you to shut up that badly I'd have gagged you by now or something! I don’t! I never want you to shut up! I like hearing what you have to say; I wish you’d talk to me more and just-
[And there’s a vehement growl here because this is a sore spot.]
I will never ignore you.
I will never ignore what you have to say.
Everyone should have a voice and every voice should be heard but damnit--
When I think you're being a dumbass then I'm gonna tell you that I think you're being a dumbass!
What concerns me is peace. Happiness. The lives of my friends- and you too. Protecting them and my home. What concerns me is the idea of you going to find a damn fight because you think our existence right now is fucking inconsequential!
[Is Naruto angry? Oh yes, Naruto is angry. Naruto is pretty furious and it’s probably audible.]
Konoha stands for peace. Always has. Peace is real so long as people want it. You don’t get to piss on that and call it an illusion when people have bled for it.
You don’t.
We don’t go looking for wars, Nagato. If we have to, we protect ourselves- It’s not our damn right to choose who lives and who dies! No power in the world gives us that right. When someone brings a war to our front gates, that still doesn’t give us the right to decide who lives and who dies.
Have you forgotten everything Jiraiya taught us!? Have you forgotten what he lived for- died for?
You think Yahiko died so you’d have to fight until you died too?
Do you?Do you actually think that? Do you think he died so you could go ( ... )
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You would have me sacrifice my desires to placate the desires of everyone else.
And I would, I suppose, spend the rest of my days -- doing what, exactly?
Doing nothing?
That is not the life I want for myself.
That is no life at all, for me.
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Some would say I should have already died, rather than live in this disgraceful condition, but I have lived on, and fought on, to spite that opinion that my disability makes me weak . . . and worthless.
But I loathe and fear worthlessness.
I do not intend to lie in bed and suffer mindlessly for the rest of my life.
I have never taken that route, though I suppose it is what some believe I would do best to seek.
If you deny me my ability to be a ninja, then I might as well be giving up.
I . . . might as well be merely weak, and a physical horror. And nothing more.
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Do you know what I’d give to see you smile?
…
What the hell kind of life do you want for yourself? A life of war? A life of fighting? There’s more to life than that and if you just looked instead of being so damn sure that unless you fight you’re worthless--
That’s bullshit.
You’re not fucking worthless- --do you think I’m worthless?
Gonna ask you that right now.
If I want to be happy, if I think that what you’re doing is dangerous and stupid and if I want something else, then am I worthless to you?
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You wanna risk the lives of everyone else just to make yourself what? Happy?
You said you can’t be happy. You said you can’t experience joy.
[And there is silence here. What Naruto doesn’t say is: I just think you don’t know what joy is. You could be feeling it and not even realise it.]
And it doesn’t matter that I think you can feel all those things. What you believe--
You can experience misery, right?
You believe in misery. But not in hope.
...
...don’t use that to justify what you’re doing, Nagato.
Don’t.
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Unless you think by merely making my own decisions, I am somehow risking lives.
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And screw you if you think I'd let you leave without me.
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[Genuinely confused here.]
... why wouldn’t I do that?
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I don’t understand.
The people I love, I stand beside them, whether I agree with ‘em or not. Not agreeing with someone isn’t gonna change how I feel for them...
Did you think it would?
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I’m not.
I’m not denying you your ability to be a damn ninja! I’m not trying to do that!
But being a ninja isn’t about going out and finding a fight! It’s about protecting too and there’s more than one way to do that! There are other ways you can do that and still be a ninja! I’m not denying you anything, I’m asking you to look at it another way!
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Is that correct?
You, and these other people -- you speak of wanting me to be happier, but what I hear is that you want me to subjugate my desires beneath your own.
You want me to shut up, stop making noise, and go die away from your line of sight, so you can all have your happy lives --
-- free of that detestable broken man who will not stop bothering you with his stirring of the water, and his different views.
I see how it is.
It's conform to your views, or else.
You are able-bodied.
You cannot possibly understand the fear of physical worthlessness as I do.
I do not hold this over your head, but do not pretend as if you have made a sincere effort to understand my view of this situation, because you have not. The lot of you assume I can easily accommodate myself and be like the rest of you.
I am myself: I am not a sheep in the herd.
If your methods work for you, then more is the better, but I would not so easily assume they are suited to me.
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Your way.
You're drawing a line, Nagato.
You're drawing a goddamn line where there doesn’t need to be one!
These people are YOUR PEOPLE! Your wife! Konan! Your husbands! Me and Madara! Your friends! The only walls in this place are the ones around this village and the ones you keep putting up to keep yourself separate from us!
If I wanted you to shut up that badly I'd have gagged you by now or something! I don’t! I never want you to shut up! I like hearing what you have to say; I wish you’d talk to me more and just-
[And there’s a vehement growl here because this is a sore spot.]
I will never ignore you.
I will never ignore what you have to say.
Everyone should have a voice and every voice should be heard but damnit--
When I think you're being a dumbass then I'm gonna tell you that I think you're being a dumbass!
And I think you're being a dumbass.
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You're only hearing what you wanna hear.
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But...
You’re not even listening to me, are you?
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