yep.

Mar 20, 2005 01:48

i had too much to drink. between all the bud, vodka, stoli and ginger ale, this one is well spent like i said i'd be........

but...... i've been good lately, i'm a good little professional writer, i've been working on stories. tomorrow is gonna suck ass! which is why i'm breakin it up w. meeting good folk for brunch..... god, i hate setting the alarm on the weekend, it's been so long!

so tonite i went to my old work thing. i won i won i won i won. yes i did. so did "my guest" hahaha.
i won a family membership to the bmi (baltimore museum of industry) for a whole year..... it has a value of 75 bones. i told my 'guest' do you know what this means for my dating life, my social life, my let's fuck it day life? i hate 'hanging out' in canton, but it's near good shit, like joy america cafe, shorty's and other nonsense that i've been long gone/not comin by for awhile now as i'm a lazy tipsy motherfucker and love the cloee by-ness of many things in relative to how close i live in parts of baltimore.

i hate towson bars. not gonna get started. angels grotto wasn't so bad tonite tho.

ok, to complain............ i woke up today ......to a totally hot guy that i would like to well, um, ok nevermind,....... asking me and telling me that he was wanting to meet me to a coffee date. ....... could not go because i'm a 'professional writer' and i had 'stories to write' it's in quotes cuz i hated it about then.

other than that, been lovin it and tomorrow's gonna suck cuz of it tho. i've talked to allan the last couple nites. as much as i love hearing from him, it makes me miss him more. it had been more than 2 months since i heard his voice. when i saw his name appearing on my phone and heard him, it was so shocking, but oh so good. i'm not getting into more, as that is private. but shit, god, do i miss him so much. and it was overall, so great to hear from him, i've been all smiles ever since. (he's like chris)... no matter what happens, he wants to talk to me, will try to get a hold of me, will make initial contact, will always bring certain things up (if you catch my drift). ... etc. allan is everything i've always looked for in someone else in so many ways, i could spend an entry on that alone, i royally fucked up last june. ok ok ok ok ok ok i said i wouldn't get into it. sometimes i get sad, though, thinking of all that he's told me, thinking of how when he made the decision to leave, it was when he thought i didn't want to talk to him at all/ever again. knowing that it played a part of his decision, all the bad that happened between us, to leave, hurts me so much more than i think most things have. ok ok yeah so not talking about this, there were so many things i should've said when i talked to him, but i'm too scared and i know better, i am glad to just have the quick, 'oh my god guess what about this and that' that we've done... i want to stab myself in the eye when i think of all the things i should've said, like i miss you............

i slept weird last nite. and again, had fun tonite. i need to stop smoking. after this deadline, no more packs.

oh and i dyed my hair dark today. it was refreshing. i took new pictures and posted one on the lame myspace, cuz it felt so good...ha, i'm a fucking dork.

everyone from my old work said they missed me and that they wish i'd [still] come back. it was cool to see most of them again, yet weird to think of how much has changed since i ran the event last year. i liked seeing my old boss too, she rules. and yeah, so many people told me i looked 'better than they have seen me look' too, which was also cool. everyone seemed to grasp that the new job is doing me well, otherwise i wouldn't look so happy. i couldn't lie. i love my new job. i'm just nervous on whether the deans will like the content i am composing on our revived magazine.

thinking about that, i should get to bed. i'm still drunk, i started drinking a little after 7 and i gotta get up early to write stories and draft articles. god, i love writing. i thought about it and thought about how if you added up all the writing i have done and do for work, its like a book or two worth already. oh another weird thing...........seeing the newsletter at my old job and realizing i wrote the entire thing w. very little editing. those bitches need to send me some copies for my portfolio!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok ok ok yes, bed time. nighty nite............
<3
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