A #shortstorysunday for @iamcheesethief on twitter
The Clang
The light was filtering through the window waking Herman up. He groaned as he did NOT want to be up this early on a Sunday, the day he usually got to sleep in. Well, he thought the sun had woken him up. There was a loud clang and he turned towards the window where he could see the dilapidated old shed in the yard, had the wind blown something around? He looked out to check the tree; branches weren't moving. Maybe it was an animal, last winter there had been a raccoon in it.
He was fully awake now so got up and relieved himself, then went into the kitchen for coffee...and he'd forgotten to buy any. He audibly groaned and went looking for a jacket to walk to the coffee shop (it was only a couple of blocks from the house) for some. He'd shop later.
The coffee shop was busier than he'd expected and the cute barista was far too happy for damn Sunday at...what time was it anyway? How did he get out of the house without noticing that? The roman numerals on the clock on the wall said 3 p.m. That couldn't be right. Could it? He shuffled forward in line and Pippsy...Pippsy? Yes, her tag clearly said Pippsy. Took his triple raspberry mocha order with, again, far too much exuberance for anyone working retail. But it wasn't like he had to put up with it every day. He sat down to wait for his order and looked at the fall colors in the trees outside. What a pretty time of year. Oranges, yellows, and reds. His name being called took his attention away and he grabbed his coffee and left.
On the way back there was a slight breeze and he walked past Mrs. Erby and her son pulling his wagon on their way to (presumably) the park. They exchanged a polite nod and went their separate ways. Once inside Herman looked at his own clock and it also said a little after 3 p.m., what? How come it felt so early then? He couldn't remember the last time he slept that late, unless he was sick.
He sat in contemplation finishing his coffee. The clanging came from the shed again. He'd better investigate. No matter what time it was. The slightly tan dormant grass under his feet gave a soft rustle as he walked to the back. He rarely came back here - he had no dogs or kids and didn't smoke. What else did you do with a backyard? Well, a back patch. It was very tiny. He supposed it had been bigger before the shed was built. It was too large for the amount of yard there wasn't. He got to the shed door and realised even with the sun he might need a flashlight for corners. Was there one in the shed? He opened it.
The shed was practically empty: and old fashioned manual lawn mower on the left wall. Which he'd used a handful of times on the "lawn" (is it lawn when it's barely 7 feet by 7 feet)? Some shelves with fertilizer that had to be years old on the back wall and a strange tool on the right one. It looked like a giant wire...fan? No flashlight. So...what had clanged? There wasn't anything in here TO clang.
He went back in the house and got the flashlight from the "emergency" drawer. The one that had candles, matches and chocolate bars. A propane lantern and stove. Because if you have an emergency drawer you'll never need it right? Right.
So back to the shed, and on the dirt floor in the right hand corner there was a mound. Did he have a...mole? Moles are so hard to get rid of! He bent closer to the hole, no it wasn't a mole it was...and then the stench hit him. It was a dead animal of some kind. But it was all dry...dry dead things don't smell like that? Then a mouse came out from under the dead thing, and another and another. They were running into each other smelling the ground and seemed to be...oh they were blind!? Who intentionally blinds three mice? There is no way three blind mice just happen to find each other. They were young too. The smell his mind had confused for dead animal (because that's what he saw) was actually mouse turds and urine.
So does he leave them be? He really doesn't want them in the house. He's had mice in the house before and it's rather annoying. He could put de-con out but that's meaner than...oh that's why someone blinded them. Thinking they'd die from starvation. But still what an effort? Why?
The Erby boy called over to him "Whatcha got Mister Thant?"
"Some blind mice." Herman didn't dislike the Erby kid, but he didn't really like him either.
"D'jou blind 'em?"
How old was this kid again? "No, I found them like this."
"You gonna kill 'em?"
"I haven't decided."
"Earl has a snake, it eats mice."
"Oh?" Did he want to do that, I mean the they are mice after all. Which one is Earl?
"Yep, bet he'd want 'em"
It would solve the problem. "Well, why don't you ask him and get back to me."
"'K" then he yells back into his house "EARL! Want some mice for Hulk?"
"Yeah! Jus' a minute!"
A few moments later Earl appears with a shoebox, he must be the older brother. He walks over to the fence.
"You got mice?"
"I found them in the shed, they have been blinded by someone."
"Oh wow Hulk won't have to do much then. How much?"
"What?"
"How much you want for 'em?"
Herman hadn't thougth of that, he was just going to give them to him.
"Oh, uh, you can just have them? but no blaming me if they make...uh...Hulk? sick."
"OK!, want me to come over there and put 'em in the box?" he holds up the box.
"No, I can do it." Herman takes the box. The back patch was only accessible through the house and he didn't want him in there. Catching them was fairly easy and both children left him alone after that. To 'go watch hulk eat'.
Herman decided to bag the dead thing and dig out the feces and urinated on dirt and throw it out. Leaving a hole that he figured he'd fill or cover over later. Then he heard it again. A distinct metal clang in the shed with him. He looked around quickly. Nothing there? Was he hearing things?
Maybe it was something hanging on the outside of the shed? Though he didn't remember there being anything on it. He walked to both sides of the shed. Nothing, he pushed up on the tin metal roof to see if it was loose. Nope. The back of the shed was against the fence of Mrs. McNeil. He had talked to the woman a whole two times since he'd lived here. Which was going on two years. Maybe he'd ask her when he saw he car pull in. he knew what her car looked like better than he did what she did. They both seemed to like to keep to themsleves and that was fine with Herman.
What was going on?
His cell rang and he looked at the name 'frank'. Oh good, he liked Frank. He walked towards the house while he talked.
"Hey."
"Hey yourself, where have you been today?"
"I just got up a half an hour ago."
"What - it's about 4 p.m., you O.K.?"
"It didn't feel like it. It felt like 6am, but yeah I guess? I don't know. What did I miss?"
"We were supposed to go to the fair - you know rides, eat bad food, a date."
"Shit frankie, I'm sorry I really don't know why I didn't get up to my alarm."
"This is the third time we've tried to do this."
I know. Come over now? We could do a dinner and movie date instead?"
"I guess." clearly perturbed.
"You're mad."
"Well, yeah. You did't return any of my texts, and don't even seem sorry."
I AM sorry. I just....I don't know what happened. I don't have any texts from you."
And then a clang from the shed again. Herman tensed.
"Please, I really do like you. I'm just..."
What was he? Nervous? Not really. Sacared of commitment? No. He just didn't have people skills, and OUT dating was far outside his experience. Frank still got angry when he'd shy away from holding hands or even admitting they were dating to others. He wished he hadn't been conditioned to be embarrassed of them. He really did want this to WORK.
"I'm just still so unsure."
"Of me?"
"No, I know I want to be with you. It's just the OUT part. I'm...still getting used to that."
"Yeah, did you do this on purpose - so we wouldn't be seen, another evening hiding it."
"What NO, no. Let's go out to dinner and a movie!" Why was he suddenly yelling? Herman took control of his voice and in a calmer tone
"I really didn't mean to miss today, I promise."
"O.K., but I am holding your hand and you better let me." It wasn't an order, it was in a light tone, teasing.
"O.K."
Frank really had been super understanding about that. Amazing what being rasied in an open environment can do. He knew frank still didn't grab his hand as often as he wanted to, and after the first flop of kissing walking down the street had never done it without asking first. Maybe one of these days he could initiate that, but not today.
"So come by in an hour?"
"Yeah, O.K."
"Bye."
"Bye."
The clang again. What in the hell was that? And why did he sleep all day?
When the neighbor drove in he decided to wait a few minutes to let her get settled before asking if he could go into her back patch and see if there was something between the fence and the shed. When he did she was curt but allowed him to look and again, nothing.
He sighed and then turned to go when he noticed something in the lone pine tree next to the shed. It glinted in the depleting sunlight.
He pointed it out to Mrs. Mcneil to make sure he wasn't seeing things and she nodded and said "I think the Earby's have a ladder." He thanked her and walked over to the house on the other side of him. Mr. Earby wasn't home yet but Earl let him get the ladder.'Since hulk liked that mouse real good.' but didn't offer to help with the investigation, thank goodness.
One he got the ladder through the house and onto the tree he noticed that he was still not dressed or showered. Earl had not seemed to care how long he kept the ladder. He left it against the trunk and went and got ready for the date with Frank.
The shower felt nice on his sore muscles. Were they really that sore from digging a hole and carrying a ladder though? They really shouldn't have been. Must be because he somehow slept all day. He'd try not to do that again. He washed the soap out of his freshly dyed black hair watching some color go down the drain and just stood there for a moment. Thinking about where to go for dinner and - a flash of light! Had someone taken a picture? In the shower? That isn't right. He threw open the shower curtain, maybe Frank came early and was playing a trick on him. Though that didn't seem like something Frank would do but rational explanations for a camera flash in the bathroom while taking a shower alone are few and far between.
Nothing, wait nothing? No one! He pulled a towel around his waist, and padded wet footed through the house. No one. Maybe it was stress? What with the damn disembodied clang in the shed, finding the three fucking blind mice in his shed and missing his alarm but still waking up exhausted. Yes; sure; stress. He laughed at how worried he'd been and went to get dressed.
He combed his short hairstyle. When they met Frank had teased him about it 'looking like my dad's in some old pictures', but he liked it all slicked back. A plaid shirt and jeans and he was ready.
Frank showed up looking cute as always. Casual jeans and top opened button-up black dress shirt, eyeliner, his bangs in a side curl on and the back of his hair spiked up.
"You look nice."
"So do you." and he pecked him on the cheek and continued,
"Where shall we eat? Burgers? or something fancier?"
"Burgers definitely."
"Right." he smiled and Herman grabbed his leather jacket and they left.
They chose a place they'd been to a few times, a "safe spot" Frank had said. Meaning they could be a couple and not get stares or names or worse. Herman didn't know places like this had even existed until he'd moved away from home. He tried so hard to let go of his "hide it or you'll get beaten up or worse" but it was really hard sometimes.
Frank reached his hand over to hold on the table, and Herman let him, but stole some furtive glances right afterwards. Looking for that ONE person that was going to get in their face for it and saw none, so he relaxed and tried to enjoy holding his boyfriend's, hand in public.
The waitress came and they ordered and just sat there waiting, talking. Frank rubbing little circles with his thumb on Herman's hand. It was really relaxed and enjoyable and then it happened: the fucking CLANG, but from the kitchen?
Frank had felt him tense for that, "What's wrong, they just dropped something in the kitchen. What's up?" he furrowed his eyebrows and looked at Herman with intense worry.
Herman almost whispered "There is something clanging in my shed, well no, now it's in my tree? Anyway I've been looking for it since I got up and couldn't find a source and up until about an hour ago I thought I was imagining it! Until I saw something shiny in the tree...and then the flash in the bathroom."
Frank nodded taking all this in and gently asked "Flash?"
"Yeah, like someone took my picture in the shower, but when I opened the curtain to scream at them no one was there. No one in the house either when I checked. Please tell me you were playing a trick on me?"
"Sorry, I wouldn't do that?" Why would you think that?"
"Because it's better than a stranger in my house!" Herman hissed. Whoa where did THAT come from? He calmed himself saying,
"Sorry. It's got me on edge, along with sleeping away the day. I haven't done that ever I don't think."
Frank smiled "I think it would me as well, how about after we eat instead of the movie we go back and get the shiny clanging thing out of your tree?"
"I'd like that."
***
In the dark the tree was big and menacing. It had been there a long time. The wind had bent the top over with time. Herman held the ladder while Frank climed up fairly close to what looked to be a metal pot? and then:
"Ow! fuck, it's hot!"
"It's what?"
"It's HOT. Grab an oven mitt or something."
"Not until you come down Im not leaving you on a tall ass ladder in a tree alone."
"Alright mom, I'm coming!"
"What was it though?"
"I can't tell I was trying to pull it around to see it and burned myself."
"Really? Maybe it's hot from the sun on it for however long its been there? Like solar heated?"
"Maybe."
Frank was running his burned fingers under the cold water in the sink.
Herman looked at the burns. "Wow those are blistering. Should we go to emergency?"
"Naw, just first degree I'm sure."
"O.K. if you are sure, maybe we should...leave it alone?"
"CLANG" from the thing. This time they both jump.
"Nope, that has got to go, I can't believe the neighbors haven't said anything yet." said Herman.
Frank puts some bandaids on his burned fingers and thumb and they go back out to the yard. It's quite dark now and the porchlight isn't much help. Herman shines the flashlight up into the tree and Frank has one too.
Frank looks before touching this time "Well it seems to be a cooking pot, you know like for the stove top. But it's wedged in so tight I don't see how it's clanging.
Three clangs, it startles Frank so much he losses his footing and almost falls off the ladder. Herman screams "Frank! Don't let go!"
"I won't!" he gets his footing back and steadies himself with the brick wall of the neighbors house.
At that point the Earby neighbor yells out their window "What are you two doing out there?"
They look at each other and Frank shrugs before answering "Trying to get this pot out of the tree."
"What pot?"
"The one making the clanging noises." Herman says.
"I havent' heard any clanging?, but you quit that screaming!" and they shut their window with a thump.
Frank and Herman look at each other: they didn't hear it? That's far too weird.
Frank puts the gloves back on and reached for the pot again. He can't hold it very long because it is still very hot, but he thinks he's getting it loose. He works on it for almost twenty minutes and it's moved about an inch.
"I'm beat, your turn."
So they trade places, and this time the pot just comes out in Herman's hands. What?
Frank looks at him "How'd you do that?'
"It wasn't stuck."
"Yes, it was!"
"Well you loosened it then, because now it isnt!"
He couldn't climb back down the ladder with it so he said 'heads up' and dropped it onto the ground. This time it made no sound...and it should have from that height.
This night was too weird.
Frank tried to look on the bright side "At least it isn't clanging anymore."
"Yeah." but they both weren't as happy about that as they thought they'd be, for some reason.
They brought the pot in to wash, it seemed like a normal pot, not ruined or anything.
"At least you got a nice pot out of this."
Herman laughed lightly "Yeah, but it doesn't explain the flash of light or me sleeping all day."
"Yeah. You need me to...stay?"
They hadn't done that yet, stay the night. They only even been dating for two months.
"Do you want to?"
"Is the couch soft?" he chuckled.
Oh, that kind of stay, the stay in case you need me if you freak out stay.
***
It was the middle of the night, and two beings were arguing:
"How could you fuck up this badly? In a fucking tree!"
"What? He still got the damn thing, we're here aren't we."
"When administrator finds out you used a cooking pot as a beacon because you failed to successfully acquire him the first time..."
"Oh shut up will you, we have a new problem!"
"What?"
He points to Frank on the couch.
"This"
"Well we do have room for two..."
"But we were only supposed to get one!"
"They aren't going to like this."
"It is cute."
"He likes it. I saw when I psychic flashed him"
"You aren't supposed to do that!"
"I needed to know if he was going to be here when we came back!"
"Fine, maybe the one called Herman will like having a...pet?"
"Administrator did say we need to make it (Herman) happy. After all the last one went insane."
"It doesn't have a collar?"
"Some of them don't. We can get it one, but let's hurry ok?"
"O.K."
***
Herman woke with a start to a room that wasn't his, with Frank on the floor in a...basket? Maybe he was dreaming?
He had to pee. There looked to be a restroom to the right, with no door. He found it was but it looked exactly like the one in his house, ...no, what, it was the one from the house! He could see the jagged edges of the cuts in the walls.
He voided and came out to Frank also needing the restroom and tugging at a ...collar? He was angry "Did YOU do this!?" pulling on it.
"No of course not look around you!" Frank took in the room, and softened.
He relieved himself, came back out and said.
"Where do you think we are?"
"Don't know, but at least we are together."
"Yeah, at least there's that."
Frank asked "Can we get it off?" Meaning the collar.
Herman fussed with it for a few minutes.
"It looks like a buckle but it's fused or something. Sorry."
"The looked around the room, it was a room made of metal walls, very sterile, with a bed...no, Hermans bed in the middle of it a table with two chairs and a...no, Herman's couch.
"They brought my bed and couch," Herman started and Frank finished "and your entire bathroom. Who does that?"
"They both looked at one another and whispered at the same time 'Aliens'.
They sat for awhile, not knowing what to do. If the aliens planned to just kill them off they wouldn't have brought them comfort things...would they? Did they even know they were comfort things?
A sharp electronic buzzing sound made them jump and then the wall moved? No, no it was moving to the side and there were beings? on the other side of it - an announcement started - clicks and pops and something guttural, and then plates with hamburgers and fries slid onto the table, right next to the glass.
"They want to watch us eat." said Frank with fear and loathing in his voice.
"I wonder what happens if we don't." Herman said with tears in his.
"I don't want to find out right now."
"Me either."
So they sat, and ate. After the first few bites Herman said: "It looks like a burger and fries but tastes like nothing, not bad, just nothing."
"Do you think they can understand us?"
"Not sure, they understand something if they gave us burgers."
"Yeah, but they don't taste right, and no drink."
"I know, let's just try and get through this."
"Yeah."
And when they were done the sound happened again and the wall "shut".
Herman was 'worrying' his skin on his hand, the place between your thumb and first finger and said,
"We're in a zoo, or something."
"Yeah, I gathered that too." said Frank.
"We aren't going home."
"Nope."
They moved to the couch and just held each other for a long while, becasue really the gravity of the situation didn't require much talking. They were certainly stuck here, until they died or the aliens got bored with them.
Finally Frank spoke: "This made me realize something though."
"Oh?"
"I love you and I wouldn't be alien-napped with anyone else."
Herman smiled. "Yeah? I think I agree with you on that one."
"But we have to figure out how to tell them to make the food taste good, and get a damn TV, or books, or something.
"I can think of something we can do until that happens." Frank said mischievously.
"Oh, can you now?" and they kissed.
The End
***
The light was filtering through the window waking Herman up. He groaned as he did NOT want to be up this early on a Sunday, the day he usually got to sleep in. Well, he thought the sun had woken him up. There was a loud clang and he turned towards the window where he could see the dilapidated old shed in the yard, had the wind blown something around? He looked out to check the tree; branches weren't moving. Maybe it was an animal, last winter there had been a raccoon in it.
He was fully awake now so got up and relieved himself, then went into the kitchen for coffee...and he'd forgotten to buy any. He audibly groaned and went looking for a jacket to walk to the coffee shop (it was only a couple of blocks from the house) for some. He'd shop later.
The coffee shop was busier than he'd expected and the cute barista was far too happy for damn Sunday at...what time was it anyway? How did he get out of the house without noticing that? The roman numerals on the clock on the wall said 3 p.m. That couldn't be right. Could it? He shuffled forward in line and Pippsy...Pippsy? Yes, her tag clearly said Pippsy. Took his triple raspberry mocha order with, again, far too much exuberance for anyone working retail. But it wasn't like he had to put up with it every day. He sat down to wait for his order and looked at the fall colors in the trees outside. What a pretty time of year. Oranges, yellows, and reds. His name being called took his attention away and he grabbed his coffee and left.
On the way back there was a slight breeze and he walked past Mrs. Erby and her son pulling his wagon on their way to (presumably) the park. They exchanged a polite nod and went their separate ways. Once inside Herman looked at his own clock and it also said a little after 3 p.m., what? How come it felt so early then? He couldn't remember the last time he slept that late, unless he was sick.
He sat in contemplation finishing his coffee. The clanging came from the shed again. He'd better investigate. No matter what time it was. The slightly tan dormant grass under his feet gave a soft rustle as he walked to the back. He rarely came back here - he had no dogs or kids and didn't smoke. What else did you do with a backyard? Well, a back patch. It was very tiny. He supposed it had been bigger before the shed was built. It was too large for the amount of yard there wasn't. He got to the shed door and realised even with the sun he might need a flashlight for corners. Was there one in the shed? He opened it.
The shed was practically empty: and old fashioned manual lawn mower on the left wall. Which he'd used a handful of times on the "lawn" (is it lawn when it's barely 7 feet by 7 feet)? Some shelves with fertilizer that had to be years old on the back wall and a strange tool on the right one. It looked like a giant wire...fan? No flashlight. So...what had clanged? There wasn't anything in here TO clang.
He went back in the house and got the flashlight from the "emergency" drawer. The one that had candles, matches and chocolate bars. A propane lantern and stove. Because if you have an emergency drawer you'll never need it right? Right.
So back to the shed, and on the dirt floor in the right hand corner there was a mound. Did he have a...mole? Moles are so hard to get rid of! He bent closer to the hole, no it wasn't a mole it was...and then the stench hit him. It was a dead animal of some kind. But it was all dry...dry dead things don't smell like that? Then a mouse came out from under the dead thing, and another and another. They were running into each other smelling the ground and seemed to be...oh they were blind!? Who intentionally blinds three mice? There is no way three blind mice just happen to find each other. They were young too. The smell his mind had confused for dead animal (because that's what he saw) was actually mouse turds and urine.
So does he leave them be? He really doesn't want them in the house. He's had mice in the house before and it's rather annoying. He could put de-con out but that's meaner than...oh that's why someone blinded them. Thinking they'd die from starvation. But still what an effort? Why?
The Erby boy called over to him "Whatcha got Mister Thant?"
"Some blind mice." Herman didn't dislike the Erby kid, but he didn't really like him either.
"D'jou blind 'em?"
How old was this kid again? "No, I found them like this."
"You gonna kill 'em?"
"I haven't decided."
"Earl has a snake, it eats mice."
"Oh?" Did he want to do that, I mean the they are mice after all. Which one is Earl?
"Yep, bet he'd want 'em"
It would solve the problem. "Well, why don't you ask him and get back to me."
"'K" then he yells back into his house "EARL! Want some mice for Hulk?"
"Yeah! Jus' a minute!"
A few moments later Earl appears with a shoebox, he must be the older brother. He walks over to the fence.
"You got mice?"
"I found them in the shed, they have been blinded by someone."
"Oh wow Hulk won't have to do much then. How much?"
"What?"
"How much you want for 'em?"
Herman hadn't thougth of that, he was just going to give them to him.
"Oh, uh, you can just have them? but no blaming me if they make...uh...Hulk? sick."
"OK!, want me to come over there and put 'em in the box?" he holds up the box.
"No, I can do it." Herman takes the box. The back patch was only accessible through the house and he didn't want him in there. Catching them was fairly easy and both children left him alone after that. To 'go watch hulk eat'.
Herman decided to bag the dead thing and dig out the feces and urinated on dirt and throw it out. Leaving a hole that he figured he'd fill or cover over later. Then he heard it again. A distinct metal clang in the shed with him. He looked around quickly. Nothing there? Was he hearing things?
Maybe it was something hanging on the outside of the shed? Though he didn't remember there being anything on it. He walked to both sides of the shed. Nothing, he pushed up on the tin metal roof to see if it was loose. Nope. The back of the shed was against the fence of Mrs. McNeil. He had talked to the woman a whole two times since he'd lived here. Which was going on two years. Maybe he'd ask her when he saw he car pull in. he knew what her car looked like better than he did what she did. They both seemed to like to keep to themsleves and that was fine with Herman.
What was going on?
His cell rang and he looked at the name 'frank'. Oh good, he liked Frank. He walked towards the house while he talked.
"Hey."
"Hey yourself, where have you been today?"
"I just got up a half an hour ago."
"What - it's about 4 p.m., you O.K.?"
"It didn't feel like it. It felt like 6am, but yeah I guess? I don't know. What did I miss?"
"We were supposed to go to the fair - you know rides, eat bad food, a date."
"Shit frankie, I'm sorry I really don't know why I didn't get up to my alarm."
"This is the third time we've tried to do this."
I know. Come over now? We could do a dinner and movie date instead?"
"I guess." clearly perturbed.
"You're mad."
"Well, yeah. You did't return any of my texts, and don't even seem sorry."
I AM sorry. I just....I don't know what happened. I don't have any texts from you."
And then a clang from the shed again. Herman tensed.
"Please, I really do like you. I'm just..."
What was he? Nervous? Not really. Sacared of commitment? No. He just didn't have people skills, and OUT dating was far outside his experience. Frank still got angry when he'd shy away from holding hands or even admitting they were dating to others. He wished he hadn't been conditioned to be embarrassed of them. He really did want this to WORK.
"I'm just still so unsure."
"Of me?"
"No, I know I want to be with you. It's just the OUT part. I'm...still getting used to that."
"Yeah, did you do this on purpose - so we wouldn't be seen, another evening hiding it."
"What NO, no. Let's go out to dinner and a movie!" Why was he suddenly yelling? Herman took control of his voice and in a calmer tone
"I really didn't mean to miss today, I promise."
"O.K., but I am holding your hand and you better let me." It wasn't an order, it was in a light tone, teasing.
"O.K."
Frank really had been super understanding about that. Amazing what being rasied in an open environment can do. He knew frank still didn't grab his hand as often as he wanted to, and after the first flop of kissing walking down the street had never done it without asking first. Maybe one of these days he could initiate that, but not today.
"So come by in an hour?"
"Yeah, O.K."
"Bye."
"Bye."
The clang again. What in the hell was that? And why did he sleep all day?
When the neighbor drove in he decided to wait a few minutes to let her get settled before asking if he could go into her back patch and see if there was something between the fence and the shed. When he did she was curt but allowed him to look and again, nothing.
He sighed and then turned to go when he noticed something in the lone pine tree next to the shed. It glinted in the depleting sunlight.
He pointed it out to Mrs. Mcneil to make sure he wasn't seeing things and she nodded and said "I think the Earby's have a ladder." He thanked her and walked over to the house on the other side of him. Mr. Earby wasn't home yet but Earl let him get the ladder.'Since hulk liked that mouse real good.' but didn't offer to help with the investigation, thank goodness.
One he got the ladder through the house and onto the tree he noticed that he was still not dressed or showered. Earl had not seemed to care how long he kept the ladder. He left it against the trunk and went and got ready for the date with Frank.
The shower felt nice on his sore muscles. Were they really that sore from digging a hole and carrying a ladder though? They really shouldn't have been. Must be because he somehow slept all day. He'd try not to do that again. He washed the soap out of his freshly dyed black hair watching some color go down the drain and just stood there for a moment. Thinking about where to go for dinner and - a flash of light! Had someone taken a picture? In the shower? That isn't right. He threw open the shower curtain, maybe Frank came early and was playing a trick on him. Though that didn't seem like something Frank would do but rational explanations for a camera flash in the bathroom while taking a shower alone are few and far between.
Nothing, wait nothing? No one! He pulled a towel around his waist, and padded wet footed through the house. No one. Maybe it was stress? What with the damn disembodied clang in the shed, finding the three fucking blind mice in his shed and missing his alarm but still waking up exhausted. Yes; sure; stress. He laughed at how worried he'd been and went to get dressed.
He combed his short hairstyle. When they met Frank had teased him about it 'looking like my dad's in some old pictures', but he liked it all slicked back. A plaid shirt and jeans and he was ready.
Frank showed up looking cute as always. Casual jeans and top opened button-up black dress shirt, eyeliner, his bangs in a side curl on and the back of his hair spiked up.
"You look nice."
"So do you." and he pecked him on the cheek and continued,
"Where shall we eat? Burgers? or something fancier?"
"Burgers definitely."
"Right." he smiled and Herman grabbed his leather jacket and they left.
They chose a place they'd been to a few times, a "safe spot" Frank had said. Meaning they could be a couple and not get stares or names or worse. Herman didn't know places like this had even existed until he'd moved away from home. He tried so hard to let go of his "hide it or you'll get beaten up or worse" but it was really hard sometimes.
Frank reached his hand over to hold on the table, and Herman let him, but stole some furtive glances right afterwards. Looking for that ONE person that was going to get in their face for it and saw none, so he relaxed and tried to enjoy holding his boyfriend's, hand in public.
The waitress came and they ordered and just sat there waiting, talking. Frank rubbing little circles with his thumb on Herman's hand. It was really relaxed and enjoyable and then it happened: the fucking CLANG, but from the kitchen?
Frank had felt him tense for that, "What's wrong, they just dropped something in the kitchen. What's up?" he furrowed his eyebrows and looked at Herman with intense worry.
Herman almost whispered "There is something clanging in my shed, well no, now it's in my tree? Anyway I've been looking for it since I got up and couldn't find a source and up until about an hour ago I thought I was imagining it! Until I saw something shiny in the tree...and then the flash in the bathroom."
Frank nodded taking all this in and gently asked "Flash?"
"Yeah, like someone took my picture in the shower, but when I opened the curtain to scream at them no one was there. No one in the house either when I checked. Please tell me you were playing a trick on me?"
"Sorry, I wouldn't do that?" Why would you think that?"
"Because it's better than a stranger in my house!" Herman hissed. Whoa where did THAT come from? He calmed himself saying,
"Sorry. It's got me on edge, along with sleeping away the day. I haven't done that ever I don't think."
Frank smiled "I think it would me as well, how about after we eat instead of the movie we go back and get the shiny clanging thing out of your tree?"
"I'd like that."
***
In the dark the tree was big and menacing. It had been there a long time. The wind had bent the top over with time. Herman held the ladder while Frank climed up fairly close to what looked to be a metal pot? and then:
"Ow! fuck, it's hot!"
"It's what?"
"It's HOT. Grab an oven mitt or something."
"Not until you come down Im not leaving you on a tall ass ladder in a tree alone."
"Alright mom, I'm coming!"
"What was it though?"
"I can't tell I was trying to pull it around to see it and burned myself."
"Really? Maybe it's hot from the sun on it for however long its been there? Like solar heated?"
"Maybe."
Frank was running his burned fingers under the cold water in the sink.
Herman looked at the burns. "Wow those are blistering. Should we go to emergency?"
"Naw, just first degree I'm sure."
"O.K. if you are sure, maybe we should...leave it alone?"
"CLANG" from the thing. This time they both jump.
"Nope, that has got to go, I can't believe the neighbors haven't said anything yet." said Herman.
Frank puts some bandaids on his burned fingers and thumb and they go back out to the yard. It's quite dark now and the porchlight isn't much help. Herman shines the flashlight up into the tree and Frank has one too.
Frank looks before touching this time "Well it seems to be a cooking pot, you know like for the stove top. But it's wedged in so tight I don't see how it's clanging.
Three clangs, it startles Frank so much he losses his footing and almost falls off the ladder. Herman screams "Frank! Don't let go!"
"I won't!" he gets his footing back and steadies himself with the brick wall of the neighbors house.
At that point the Earby neighbor yells out their window "What are you two doing out there?"
They look at each other and Frank shrugs before answering "Trying to get this pot out of the tree."
"What pot?"
"The one making the clanging noises." Herman says.
"I havent' heard any clanging?, but you quit that screaming!" and they shut their window with a thump.
Frank and Herman look at each other: they didn't hear it? That's far too weird.
Frank puts the gloves back on and reached for the pot again. He can't hold it very long because it is still very hot, but he thinks he's getting it loose. He works on it for almost twenty minutes and it's moved about an inch.
"I'm beat, your turn."
So they trade places, and this time the pot just comes out in Herman's hands. What?
Frank looks at him "How'd you do that?'
"It wasn't stuck."
"Yes, it was!"
"Well you loosened it then, because now it isnt!"
He couldn't climb back down the ladder with it so he said 'heads up' and dropped it onto the ground. This time it made no sound...and it should have from that height.
This night was too weird.
Frank tried to look on the bright side "At least it isn't clanging anymore."
"Yeah." but they both weren't as happy about that as they thought they'd be, for some reason.
They brought the pot in to wash, it seemed like a normal pot, not ruined or anything.
"At least you got a nice pot out of this."
Herman laughed lightly "Yeah, but it doesn't explain the flash of light or me sleeping all day."
"Yeah. You need me to...stay?"
They hadn't done that yet, stay the night. They only even been dating for two months.
"Do you want to?"
"Is the couch soft?" he chuckled.
Oh, that kind of stay, the stay in case you need me if you freak out stay.
***
It was the middle of the night, and two beings were arguing:
"How could you fuck up this badly? In a fucking tree!"
"What? He still got the damn thing, we're here aren't we."
"When administrator finds out you used a cooking pot as a beacon because you failed to successfully acquire him the first time..."
"Oh shut up will you, we have a new problem!"
"What?"
He points to Frank on the couch.
"This"
"Well we do have room for two..."
"But we were only supposed to get one!"
"They aren't going to like this."
"It is cute."
"He likes it. I saw when I psychic flashed him"
"You aren't supposed to do that!"
"I needed to know if he was going to be here when we came back!"
"Fine, maybe the one called Herman will like having a...pet?"
"Administrator did say we need to make it (Herman) happy. After all the last one went insane."
"It doesn't have a collar?"
"Some of them don't. We can get it one, but let's hurry ok?"
"O.K."
***
Herman woke with a start to a room that wasn't his, with Frank on the floor in a...basket? Maybe he was dreaming?
He had to pee. There looked to be a restroom to the right, with no door. He found it was but it looked exactly like the one in his house, ...no, what, it was the one from the house! He could see the jagged edges of the cuts in the walls.
He voided and came out to Frank also needing the restroom and tugging at a ...collar? He was angry "Did YOU do this!?" pulling on it.
"No of course not look around you!" Frank took in the room, and softened.
He relieved himself, came back out and said.
"Where do you think we are?"
"Don't know, but at least we are together."
"Yeah, at least there's that."
Frank asked "Can we get it off?" Meaning the collar.
Herman fussed with it for a few minutes.
"It looks like a buckle but it's fused or something. Sorry."
"The looked around the room, it was a room made of metal walls, very sterile, with a bed...no, Hermans bed in the middle of it a table with two chairs and a...no, Herman's couch.
"They brought my bed and couch," Herman started and Frank finished "and your entire bathroom. Who does that?"
"They both looked at one another and whispered at the same time 'Aliens'.
They sat for awhile, not knowing what to do. If the aliens planned to just kill them off they wouldn't have brought them comfort things...would they? Did they even know they were comfort things?
A sharp electronic buzzing sound made them jump and then the wall moved? No, no it was moving to the side and there were beings? on the other side of it - an announcement started - clicks and pops and something guttural, and then plates with hamburgers and fries slid onto the table, right next to the glass.
"They want to watch us eat." said Frank with fear and loathing in his voice.
"I wonder what happens if we don't." Herman said with tears in his.
"I don't want to find out right now."
"Me either."
So they sat, and ate. After the first few bites Herman said: "It looks like a burger and fries but tastes like nothing, not bad, just nothing."
"Do you think they can understand us?"
"Not sure, they understand something if they gave us burgers."
"Yeah, but they don't taste right, and no drink."
"I know, let's just try and get through this."
"Yeah."
And when they were done the sound happened again and the wall "shut".
Herman was 'worrying' his skin on his hand, the place between your thumb and first finger and said,
"We're in a zoo, or something."
"Yeah, I gathered that too." said Frank.
"We aren't going home."
"Nope."
They moved to the couch and just held each other for a long while, becasue really the gravity of the situation didn't require much talking. They were certainly stuck here, until they died or the aliens got bored with them.
Finally Frank spoke: "This made me realize something though."
"Oh?"
"I love you and I wouldn't be alien-napped with anyone else."
Herman smiled. "Yeah? I think I agree with you on that one."
"But we have to figure out how to tell them to make the food taste good, and get a damn TV, or books, or something.
"I can think of something we can do until that happens." Frank said mischievously.
"Oh, can you now?" and they kissed.
The End
***