That's Right. I'm Amazing.
Today I had three major successes.
1) I've been doing that whole think-too-much-about-a-male-member-of-the-species thing, and this week I decided it was stupid and I was free to take charge of my own life, so today I asked him to do something instead of waiting and wondering if something else was going to happen. He's unavailable due to a family thing, but who cares? I asked! I may have spent part of my day secretly strutting. I'm always awful proud of myself when I decide to do something and then do it.
2) Ruby was having a crank-tastic day. Once she was put to bed, she screamed and screamed. I don't have that parent super power of being immune to her cries, so I asked Eliza if I could sit with Ruby a spell and try to lull her back to sleep. I pulled my little duck out of her crib and sat with her in her $3 rocking chair for a while. She's always so sweet when she cuddles. After a bit (and her trying to play with my necklace, counter-productive to that whole sleep thing), I set her back in her crib, but stayed close. I slowly creeped my way towards the door. She was awake the whole time, and kept looking at me. I'd say, "Go to sleep!" and she'd turn her head aside and close her eyes, before turning back to look at me again. Still, she wasn't making any noise and she was lying down, so I exited the room and softly shut her door. She made nary a sound. Whether she was asleep or not, she was quiet, which is what we all really wanted. I am in no way claiming to be better at this than Eliza (and anyway, that would be an unfair comparison because she was a secret weapon: milk distributors), but it was real nice being able to quiet my favorite baby girl.
3) I played Carcassonne tonight with Eliza, Kyle, Wesley, and Momma, and I won by a significant amount. Kyle and I teamed up to build a monstrous city (although that was not the original intention). The dead last tile gave us the piece we needed to finish said city, which resulted in 30 points apiece. I was so far ahead of Momma on the board that I lapped her. ...I may have gloated a wee smidge bit.
Of my three successes, putting Ruby to bed was my favorite. I love holding that little girl. I've always wanted babies of my own, but obviously I do not have them. Living close to my niece is the next best thing. I know most (if not all) of her routines, and Eliza lets me help out all the time in just about every way. As I sat there tonight holding her, I was reminded again of why I want to do this so badly. Out of all the things I do and all the people I interact with, the best and most important is helping out with Ruby. What I do with her matters in the long run and has eternal significance. Hopefully one day I will have my own wee ones to love on, but in the meantime, she's the most wonderful substitute. Being with her helps soothe the ache in my heart. It makes me feel like something I do actually matters. It's the one thing I do that isn't entirely selfish (although it is somewhat, given how much I want to do it). I love her and I treasure every moment I get with her.
1) I've been doing that whole think-too-much-about-a-male-member-of-the-species thing, and this week I decided it was stupid and I was free to take charge of my own life, so today I asked him to do something instead of waiting and wondering if something else was going to happen. He's unavailable due to a family thing, but who cares? I asked! I may have spent part of my day secretly strutting. I'm always awful proud of myself when I decide to do something and then do it.
2) Ruby was having a crank-tastic day. Once she was put to bed, she screamed and screamed. I don't have that parent super power of being immune to her cries, so I asked Eliza if I could sit with Ruby a spell and try to lull her back to sleep. I pulled my little duck out of her crib and sat with her in her $3 rocking chair for a while. She's always so sweet when she cuddles. After a bit (and her trying to play with my necklace, counter-productive to that whole sleep thing), I set her back in her crib, but stayed close. I slowly creeped my way towards the door. She was awake the whole time, and kept looking at me. I'd say, "Go to sleep!" and she'd turn her head aside and close her eyes, before turning back to look at me again. Still, she wasn't making any noise and she was lying down, so I exited the room and softly shut her door. She made nary a sound. Whether she was asleep or not, she was quiet, which is what we all really wanted. I am in no way claiming to be better at this than Eliza (and anyway, that would be an unfair comparison because she was a secret weapon: milk distributors), but it was real nice being able to quiet my favorite baby girl.
3) I played Carcassonne tonight with Eliza, Kyle, Wesley, and Momma, and I won by a significant amount. Kyle and I teamed up to build a monstrous city (although that was not the original intention). The dead last tile gave us the piece we needed to finish said city, which resulted in 30 points apiece. I was so far ahead of Momma on the board that I lapped her. ...I may have gloated a wee smidge bit.
Of my three successes, putting Ruby to bed was my favorite. I love holding that little girl. I've always wanted babies of my own, but obviously I do not have them. Living close to my niece is the next best thing. I know most (if not all) of her routines, and Eliza lets me help out all the time in just about every way. As I sat there tonight holding her, I was reminded again of why I want to do this so badly. Out of all the things I do and all the people I interact with, the best and most important is helping out with Ruby. What I do with her matters in the long run and has eternal significance. Hopefully one day I will have my own wee ones to love on, but in the meantime, she's the most wonderful substitute. Being with her helps soothe the ache in my heart. It makes me feel like something I do actually matters. It's the one thing I do that isn't entirely selfish (although it is somewhat, given how much I want to do it). I love her and I treasure every moment I get with her.