Hi.
Last Sunday, Johanna and I sat down and had a long conversation about boys and why on earth we think they're going to magically man up and marry us. Deciding that was a pipe dream, we started planning a European excursion next summer, focusing on Ireland and Italy.
I've mentioned our trip to a few people, and without fail (excepting my family, who, unsurprisingly, are not idiots) the response I get is, "But what if you get married before then?!"
WHY oh WHY is that the only possible outcome in my life? WHY does EVERYTHING have to revolve around marriage? WHY can't people just tell me they think travelling is a marvelous idea, and please enjoy myself?
I have a couple of responses.
1. IF I get married, I'll adjust accordingly. Either I'll cancel my trip and get married instead, or, having already purchased tickets and made reservations, I'll tell him to deal with it, see you when I get back.
2. I've made it this far in life alone. Why is the time period between now and next summer suddenly going to prove fruitful?
Now, in defense of these poor idiots, they don't realize how rude they're being. It's just that they live in happy Married Land where everything revolves around their spouse, and they can't fathom planning a life all alone. But for a pair of women, 26 and 32, who don't really have any prospects, it's our reality. And if we plan our lives as if we're going to be getting married in the next six months, we're going to pile up a lot of empty yesterdays and become bitterly acquainted with disappointment.
"But you just have to have faith and it will happen!"
You know who else had faith? Mormon. Did a single one of his countrymen repent? No. They were obliterated.
We know we're getting married someday. But having faith isn't going to make it happen. The only thing that will make it happen is God's timing. We could all fast and pray every day from now until the eternities that I find that special man who makes my little heart go pitter patter, but if God doesn't agree, it ain't going to happen. And so although Johanna and I are both keeping our eyes open to the possibility, we're not living our lives in anticipation of an event that could come tomorrow, next week, or next decade.
Instead we're going to Europe. The only appropriate thing for you to say is, "Cool! Here's what I know about Italy/Ireland!"
I've mentioned our trip to a few people, and without fail (excepting my family, who, unsurprisingly, are not idiots) the response I get is, "But what if you get married before then?!"
WHY oh WHY is that the only possible outcome in my life? WHY does EVERYTHING have to revolve around marriage? WHY can't people just tell me they think travelling is a marvelous idea, and please enjoy myself?
I have a couple of responses.
1. IF I get married, I'll adjust accordingly. Either I'll cancel my trip and get married instead, or, having already purchased tickets and made reservations, I'll tell him to deal with it, see you when I get back.
2. I've made it this far in life alone. Why is the time period between now and next summer suddenly going to prove fruitful?
Now, in defense of these poor idiots, they don't realize how rude they're being. It's just that they live in happy Married Land where everything revolves around their spouse, and they can't fathom planning a life all alone. But for a pair of women, 26 and 32, who don't really have any prospects, it's our reality. And if we plan our lives as if we're going to be getting married in the next six months, we're going to pile up a lot of empty yesterdays and become bitterly acquainted with disappointment.
"But you just have to have faith and it will happen!"
You know who else had faith? Mormon. Did a single one of his countrymen repent? No. They were obliterated.
We know we're getting married someday. But having faith isn't going to make it happen. The only thing that will make it happen is God's timing. We could all fast and pray every day from now until the eternities that I find that special man who makes my little heart go pitter patter, but if God doesn't agree, it ain't going to happen. And so although Johanna and I are both keeping our eyes open to the possibility, we're not living our lives in anticipation of an event that could come tomorrow, next week, or next decade.
Instead we're going to Europe. The only appropriate thing for you to say is, "Cool! Here's what I know about Italy/Ireland!"