Tuesdays With Amy
It's been a while, so let me update you.
1) PEOPLE-INDUCED STRESS
The last three weeks have been nonstop on-the-go people interactions, due to things such as weddings and my momma visiting. None of these things are bad, but when my presence and social ability are demanded when all I want to do is lie down and stare at the ceiling, it becomes draining. I go from thinking "Yay! I love these people!" to thinking "I love you better from afar. o_o," especially when said people are high energy. I've never noticed it before, but when high energy people enter my presence, my stress level sky rockets.
Now this stress is different from school-induced stress or work-induced stress or other things that happen that can cause stress. This is stress stemming from all my sociality (or lack thereof) and it can disappear the moment said stress-inducing person leaves. I experienced it today when my high energy principal and high energy team leader entered my classroom during lunch. My stress level sky rocketed due to how much energy they demanded of me, but the second they left (a mere four minutes later), I was fine and my energy returned to equilibrium.
This is why I like to spend so much time alone. I'm busy recovering from all the energy expended. Work- or school-related stress doesn't disappear just because I'm alone. So different stresses.
Constantly being in demand is draining, and when I don't get the requisite time to recharge, I get quiet, which results in people asking me silly questions like, "What's wrong?"
"NOTHING'S WRONG JUST LEAVE ME ALONE."
That's all.
I didn't realize I do this until recently. I was attending a football game with Prince Charming and we were chatting amicably during the first half. Then third quarter started and I was apparently done with talking, so I stopped. He tried to engage me in conversation a few more times before giving it up as a lost cause and turning to converse with the people on his other side. It was then that I realized this is a recurring phenomenon, and it's not because I dislike my company, but simply because I'm through with engaging.
So if I've ever been with you and suddenly stopped talking, most likely it wasn't because you made me mad (although I'm still leaving it open as an option, since there's a chance you did say something stupid) but rather because I turned off. Think of me as a cell phone, and that was my battery dying. I've got to be recharged before I'm useful again.
Hm. I just reread this, and although I get my point across, it's in a rather roundabout way with many much paragraphs. Oh well. This isn't professional, so I don't have to edit it.
2) MOVING
Wait, what? Amy, you're not moving, are you?
Well, no, but last night I was bit with the moving bug, and instead of going to bed like a normal person, I spent an hour on the internet looking up rental properties in Provo that fit my budget, are in my current ward, and have more than one bedroom. I mentally crunched numbers and tried to decide if it was viable for me to move. I found a darling house just down the street from where Eliza used to live, and fell asleep with visions of decorating.
Then I woke up and remembered I hate moving and it kind of killed the dream, but not completely. More like it's mostly dead.
I have this recurring desire to leave my current tenancy. We seem to have a spate of semi-permanent roommates, and I'm too old to care about new people on a regular basis, especially when they're living inside my house. I also never see my roommates. And as much as I love Johanna, I see my FHE people more than her, and I'm only with them for two hours every Monday. That sort of negates her hold over me.
If I did move out (which, let's face it, is rather unlikely), I will live on my own. I'm done with new people. I'm done with people who don't participate in cleaning the house and who make meaningless promises to accomplish things outside the house. I'm done with people who don't shovel the sidewalks. I'm done with strangers moving in and out of my house. I'm done with passive aggressiveness. I'm done with lifestyles that are different from mine that don't also include a husband whom I at least love with all my heart and am willing to work with regarding differences.
I want more than one bedroom so I can have guests over (read: good friends and family. Ain't no strangers coming into my lair!) and so I can tuck Ruby away for a nap. If I'm the only one in the house, I can arrange the main area in a way that's baby friendly so I don't have to monitor my little duck's every move when she's over.
If I'm living alone, I can leave my door unlocked ALL THE TIME, excepting when I'm not at home and at night. I can give keys to my siblings and tell them "mi casa, su casa, except when I want to be alone. Then you leave. The end." I can have fridge space and freezer space and maybe start some sort of food storage, although what I'd store that I would actually eat, I don't know. I can put my bookshelves in a room that ISN'T my bedroom, so my sleeping space doesn't have to have wall-to-wall stuff. I can move everything out of my bedroom closet that doesn't belong in a bedroom closet. I can put ALL of my toiletries in the bathroom. I can have space for my princess dresses!
See, just writing all of this has made me excited. But then I start thinking logistics: rent will be more than double, and that doesn't include utilities. I don't own a vacuum. I don't own a kitchen table. I don't own a single chair. I don't own a lawn mower. I don't own a snow shovel. I don't possess the ability to kill big scary spiders.
Mostly that last one.
It's a pipe dream at the moment. I'm trying to save up money to buy a house, and doubling my rent will put a damper on that plan. Plus I really hate moving. Have I ever mentioned how many books I own? 'Cause it's a lot. But then I start looking at all the pictures I own, and I start daydreaming about decorating, and then I'm lost to a world of fantasy.
Long and short of it: I'm not moving. But I really want to.
In related news, I considered buying a house with a separate downstairs apartment that I could rent to Eliza and family. Then she and Ruby would be MUCH closer when I want to visit/they want me to visit, but we could remain separate when so desired. Plus I'd give them a great deal on rent! Much cheaper than what they're paying now. But the likelihood of all that happening and everybody agreeing to it hovers lower on the scale than me getting married. Like I said about moving: pipe dream.
3) BOOKS
House of Hades, the most recent Heroes of Olympus book, just came out. Hooray! Although the last two books have had horrific cliffhangers. If this book follows that trend, I just may chuck it across the room and curse Rick Riordan's name. I might do that anyway (minus the book chucking), just for making me suffer for a year to find out what happens. I've never read a worse cliffhanger. That man is evil.
The last installment of The Search comes out this month, as does Allegiant, the last Divergent book. Woot! Then next month Champion comes out, the third Legend book. And then Ender's Game and Catching Fire come out in theatres, and then the last Everneath book and the last Selection book and I'm totally missing one but I will be excited about it when I remember what it is. Oh! The next Glamourist Histories book. And the last Partials book. And every new chapter of Skip!Beat. There is much reading happiness to look forward to.
4) KORRA
KORRA.
I MEAN, KORRA.
'NUFF SAID.
Okay, that's never enough, but I've discovered people dislike it when I go off on things that make me giddy-happy, so I won't. Just know that on the inside, I'm squealing with the force of a thirteen-year-old girl.
5) AND RUBY
My little Ruby Duck is utterly adorable. She's just so tiny and cute and kissable and she's finally laughing. I love making her laugh. Besides the fact that a baby laughing is possibly the most joy-inducing sound this world has ever known, I always end up laughing with her. It can't be helped. She's just so precious and looks so happy that I have to join in.
She learned how to pick her nose. She had a bogey up her nose, so Eliza pulled it out, put it in a tissue and threw it away. That's when Miss Ruby discovered her finger fits up her nostril.
Gross, baby. Gross.
(but also cute. We definitely unintentionally encourage it by laughing at her, which she delights in.)
She likes to flip light switches and brush my hair and carry around shower rings and climb onto things she shouldn't be climbing onto and sit on the big kids swing all by herself and run away from Amy and Mama at inopportune times. She likes to escape diaper changes and read (board) books and play with phones and she is inordinately pleased with herself when she can unlock Jonelle's double-locked phone.
The other day Eliza and I were eating dinner with Miss Ruby. Eliza served frozen broccoli, which is more stem than leafy part (can I describe that as leafy?), and Ruby was eating several pieces. She stuffed them in her mouth, then opened her mouth wide to show us her food (something else she likes to do). Her broccoli pieces lined her gums, looking like green teeth. Too. Cute.
When you're eating something and she wants some of it, too, she walks up to you with her mouth open, obviously expecting to be fed. And, well, she always is. She also loves water and gets very jealous if you're drinking it without sharing. She likes playing with water on the floor, but gets wickedly upset if she spills it, which is mighty funny to witness.
I love my cute little girl. Seeing her is often the best part of any day.
"Suddenly realizing where they were, he quickly recovered and tried to push his panic aside by putting on a smile and saying, "Th-that's amazing!' But despite that, something inside him was still running around and screaming--like someone who caught fire and forgot to drop and roll." ~~The CoStar Killer
1) PEOPLE-INDUCED STRESS
The last three weeks have been nonstop on-the-go people interactions, due to things such as weddings and my momma visiting. None of these things are bad, but when my presence and social ability are demanded when all I want to do is lie down and stare at the ceiling, it becomes draining. I go from thinking "Yay! I love these people!" to thinking "I love you better from afar. o_o," especially when said people are high energy. I've never noticed it before, but when high energy people enter my presence, my stress level sky rockets.
Now this stress is different from school-induced stress or work-induced stress or other things that happen that can cause stress. This is stress stemming from all my sociality (or lack thereof) and it can disappear the moment said stress-inducing person leaves. I experienced it today when my high energy principal and high energy team leader entered my classroom during lunch. My stress level sky rocketed due to how much energy they demanded of me, but the second they left (a mere four minutes later), I was fine and my energy returned to equilibrium.
This is why I like to spend so much time alone. I'm busy recovering from all the energy expended. Work- or school-related stress doesn't disappear just because I'm alone. So different stresses.
Constantly being in demand is draining, and when I don't get the requisite time to recharge, I get quiet, which results in people asking me silly questions like, "What's wrong?"
"NOTHING'S WRONG JUST LEAVE ME ALONE."
That's all.
I didn't realize I do this until recently. I was attending a football game with Prince Charming and we were chatting amicably during the first half. Then third quarter started and I was apparently done with talking, so I stopped. He tried to engage me in conversation a few more times before giving it up as a lost cause and turning to converse with the people on his other side. It was then that I realized this is a recurring phenomenon, and it's not because I dislike my company, but simply because I'm through with engaging.
So if I've ever been with you and suddenly stopped talking, most likely it wasn't because you made me mad (although I'm still leaving it open as an option, since there's a chance you did say something stupid) but rather because I turned off. Think of me as a cell phone, and that was my battery dying. I've got to be recharged before I'm useful again.
Hm. I just reread this, and although I get my point across, it's in a rather roundabout way with many much paragraphs. Oh well. This isn't professional, so I don't have to edit it.
2) MOVING
Wait, what? Amy, you're not moving, are you?
Well, no, but last night I was bit with the moving bug, and instead of going to bed like a normal person, I spent an hour on the internet looking up rental properties in Provo that fit my budget, are in my current ward, and have more than one bedroom. I mentally crunched numbers and tried to decide if it was viable for me to move. I found a darling house just down the street from where Eliza used to live, and fell asleep with visions of decorating.
Then I woke up and remembered I hate moving and it kind of killed the dream, but not completely. More like it's mostly dead.
I have this recurring desire to leave my current tenancy. We seem to have a spate of semi-permanent roommates, and I'm too old to care about new people on a regular basis, especially when they're living inside my house. I also never see my roommates. And as much as I love Johanna, I see my FHE people more than her, and I'm only with them for two hours every Monday. That sort of negates her hold over me.
If I did move out (which, let's face it, is rather unlikely), I will live on my own. I'm done with new people. I'm done with people who don't participate in cleaning the house and who make meaningless promises to accomplish things outside the house. I'm done with people who don't shovel the sidewalks. I'm done with strangers moving in and out of my house. I'm done with passive aggressiveness. I'm done with lifestyles that are different from mine that don't also include a husband whom I at least love with all my heart and am willing to work with regarding differences.
I want more than one bedroom so I can have guests over (read: good friends and family. Ain't no strangers coming into my lair!) and so I can tuck Ruby away for a nap. If I'm the only one in the house, I can arrange the main area in a way that's baby friendly so I don't have to monitor my little duck's every move when she's over.
If I'm living alone, I can leave my door unlocked ALL THE TIME, excepting when I'm not at home and at night. I can give keys to my siblings and tell them "mi casa, su casa, except when I want to be alone. Then you leave. The end." I can have fridge space and freezer space and maybe start some sort of food storage, although what I'd store that I would actually eat, I don't know. I can put my bookshelves in a room that ISN'T my bedroom, so my sleeping space doesn't have to have wall-to-wall stuff. I can move everything out of my bedroom closet that doesn't belong in a bedroom closet. I can put ALL of my toiletries in the bathroom. I can have space for my princess dresses!
See, just writing all of this has made me excited. But then I start thinking logistics: rent will be more than double, and that doesn't include utilities. I don't own a vacuum. I don't own a kitchen table. I don't own a single chair. I don't own a lawn mower. I don't own a snow shovel. I don't possess the ability to kill big scary spiders.
Mostly that last one.
It's a pipe dream at the moment. I'm trying to save up money to buy a house, and doubling my rent will put a damper on that plan. Plus I really hate moving. Have I ever mentioned how many books I own? 'Cause it's a lot. But then I start looking at all the pictures I own, and I start daydreaming about decorating, and then I'm lost to a world of fantasy.
Long and short of it: I'm not moving. But I really want to.
In related news, I considered buying a house with a separate downstairs apartment that I could rent to Eliza and family. Then she and Ruby would be MUCH closer when I want to visit/they want me to visit, but we could remain separate when so desired. Plus I'd give them a great deal on rent! Much cheaper than what they're paying now. But the likelihood of all that happening and everybody agreeing to it hovers lower on the scale than me getting married. Like I said about moving: pipe dream.
3) BOOKS
House of Hades, the most recent Heroes of Olympus book, just came out. Hooray! Although the last two books have had horrific cliffhangers. If this book follows that trend, I just may chuck it across the room and curse Rick Riordan's name. I might do that anyway (minus the book chucking), just for making me suffer for a year to find out what happens. I've never read a worse cliffhanger. That man is evil.
The last installment of The Search comes out this month, as does Allegiant, the last Divergent book. Woot! Then next month Champion comes out, the third Legend book. And then Ender's Game and Catching Fire come out in theatres, and then the last Everneath book and the last Selection book and I'm totally missing one but I will be excited about it when I remember what it is. Oh! The next Glamourist Histories book. And the last Partials book. And every new chapter of Skip!Beat. There is much reading happiness to look forward to.
4) KORRA
KORRA.
I MEAN, KORRA.
'NUFF SAID.
Okay, that's never enough, but I've discovered people dislike it when I go off on things that make me giddy-happy, so I won't. Just know that on the inside, I'm squealing with the force of a thirteen-year-old girl.
5) AND RUBY
My little Ruby Duck is utterly adorable. She's just so tiny and cute and kissable and she's finally laughing. I love making her laugh. Besides the fact that a baby laughing is possibly the most joy-inducing sound this world has ever known, I always end up laughing with her. It can't be helped. She's just so precious and looks so happy that I have to join in.
She learned how to pick her nose. She had a bogey up her nose, so Eliza pulled it out, put it in a tissue and threw it away. That's when Miss Ruby discovered her finger fits up her nostril.
Gross, baby. Gross.
(but also cute. We definitely unintentionally encourage it by laughing at her, which she delights in.)
She likes to flip light switches and brush my hair and carry around shower rings and climb onto things she shouldn't be climbing onto and sit on the big kids swing all by herself and run away from Amy and Mama at inopportune times. She likes to escape diaper changes and read (board) books and play with phones and she is inordinately pleased with herself when she can unlock Jonelle's double-locked phone.
The other day Eliza and I were eating dinner with Miss Ruby. Eliza served frozen broccoli, which is more stem than leafy part (can I describe that as leafy?), and Ruby was eating several pieces. She stuffed them in her mouth, then opened her mouth wide to show us her food (something else she likes to do). Her broccoli pieces lined her gums, looking like green teeth. Too. Cute.
When you're eating something and she wants some of it, too, she walks up to you with her mouth open, obviously expecting to be fed. And, well, she always is. She also loves water and gets very jealous if you're drinking it without sharing. She likes playing with water on the floor, but gets wickedly upset if she spills it, which is mighty funny to witness.
I love my cute little girl. Seeing her is often the best part of any day.
"Suddenly realizing where they were, he quickly recovered and tried to push his panic aside by putting on a smile and saying, "Th-that's amazing!' But despite that, something inside him was still running around and screaming--like someone who caught fire and forgot to drop and roll." ~~The CoStar Killer