Truth
Title: Truth
Category: Romance/Family/Angst
Rating: FRT
Pairing: Morgan/Prentiss
Summary: Tag to Compromising Positions. His heart stopped when she suggested confronting the unsub alone. He nearly died when the unsub aimed at their babies. Now, he needed to make her see that she couldn’t keep going like this.
The sun was hanging high in the Ohio skies as the black SUV made its way across town, heading for the airstrip where the passengers inside were getting ready to return home after closing the latest case. Morgan took off his sunglasses when he stopped at the red light and turned to look at the brunette sitting silently beside him.
She stared distantly out of the windows; she was physically there, but her mind were miles away. He reached over to hold her hand, interlacing their fingers and squeezing gently, letting her know that she was not alone.
The contact brought her back and she turned to look at their joined hands. She returned the pressure, meeting his eyes, and attempted a smile but it was faint and didn't quite reach her eyes. She sighed heavily, leaning her forehead on the cool pane of the glass window.
Knowing that this was the only alone time they would have until they returned home, he pulled over to the side of the road after he made sure that they had time - the jet would only be ready for take-off in a little more than an hour. He reached over to gently turn her head to face him, so he could look deeply into her eyes. "Talk to me, Em," he murmured softly, caressing her cheeks as ifhoping to soothe her pain. "Tell me what's on your mind."
Emily leaned into his touch, sighing softly as she nuzzled his hand. "I'm fine," she said quietly after a moment, "Just tired."
He studied her for a moment, then sighed and got out of the vehicle, moving around to the passenger side to open her door. "Don't lie to me," he whispered, affixing her with a serious look, "You looked Thomas in the eye, talked to him, and shot him at close range. Talk to me, baby."
She shrugged, almost as if brushing off his concern. "It's nothing I can't handle. Really, I'm fine, I promise. I don't want you to worry about me."
"You always do that..." he said quietly, but pointedly. "You don't let me in and you tell me it's nothing when you're clearly shaken up. The more you tell me not to worry, the more I worry. I'm your husband, why can't you tell me what's bothering you?"
"It doesn't bother me," she insisted, "I've been doing this for years, I've learned to cope. I just don't like talking about it."
"You're lying - it does bother you. I can see it in your eyes. You're only human, Emily, you can only compartmentalize for so long. Please talk to me."
She shook her head softly, determinedly not crying. "Please, just let it go. I'm okay, I swear."
"You're not! You're not fine. Why won't you talk to me?" Morgan asked desperately, "Why won't you let me in? Did you know how worried I was watching you use yourself as bait? You could have died; I could have lost you for good - you and the twins! Why didn't you talk to me about it before you put yourself and my children in danger?"
"I didn't plan on doing that, it was just a spur of the moment decision," she explained, "It was our only option to catch him or more people were going to die. There wasn't time to debate it."
He shook his head, sighing heavily. "Were you thinking about the twins at that time?" he asked heavily, looking at her seriously. He couldn't help but feel his anger rising. "Did you ever think that if anything happened to you, I would lose everything that meant something to me in my life?"
"Of course I think about the twins!" she glared at him. "I wasn't exactly planning on putting myself in danger - I wasn't trying to get into a situation with a gun pointed at me! Everything I do, I put the babies first!"
Morgan took a step back, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. He reached out to hold her hand, squeezing it gently, letting her know that he didn't mean to raise his voice. "I'm sorry," he said, slowly and calmly. "I'm not trying to pick a fight. I'm just really worried. I was terrified," he admitted, running a hand up and down her arm. "It was so hard to watch you stand right in front of Thomas - baiting him - knowing that he has a gun on him and one wrong move, I could lose my whole family, but there was nothing I could about it."
Her expression softened, her heart going all out to him. "I love you so much, Emily. I don't ever want to see you so close to an unsub again. Please don't use yourself as bait again. I don't want to lose you, baby. I need you."
"I know," she murmured, her tone gentler. "But you know it's the job - you do it all the time, you did it with Flynn. I have to do what the job requires..."
"I know," he echoed quietly, "But I'm just worried. You're clearly shaken up and you won't talk to me. You keep pretending that everything is fine, but deep inside, you know that you're really not. It's okay to be afraid and upset. No one can blame you if you're upset and affected, baby." He gently kissed her forehead. "Please talk to me. If you can't do it for you, then do it for me. I feel better when you talk to me."
"Please...don't do this," she said again, pleading, less composed than before. "Don't make me relive it. I don't want to..."
He cupped her cheeks, kissing her gently. "I'm here for you. You won't have to go through it alone. Keeping it all inside you is not good for you or the babies. One day, the dam will break, and you won't be able to hold it all in anymore. Don't let it come to that - let me in. I'm here for you."
She sniffled. "I can't. I have to hold it in - for them," she whispered, resting a hand on her slight baby bump. "If I don't think about it, if I lock it away, I don't worry, don't stress...and I keep them safe. I can't put them through that. I know it doesn't make any sense, but..."
He cut her off, murmuring, "No, that's not true. They wouldn't want Mommy to do that. You can't keep pretending that it doesn't affect you. You don't want our babies to be like you, locking everything away and pretending that it's alright. Mommy needs to set an example for them."
"I don't know how to do this... I'm afraid to be weak, I'm afraid of what happens if I start turning over those rocks," she admitted, looking up at him with tear-filled eyes.
"That's what I'm here for, baby. I'll be here with you every step of the way," he assured, wrapping his arms tightly around her. "You're not weak for doing this, you're amazing and a great mother for doing this for our babies."
She nodded, sniffling softly again, then resting her chin on his shoulder. "I love you. I'm sorry I did something so stupid and risky...you must have been terrified."
"I love you too, Em. And I'm sorry, too - I finally know what it's like to be in your shoes."
She just held him tightly for a few moments, the occasional silent tear trickling down her cheek to land on him, soaking his shirt. She nuzzled his neck, kissing his pulse point apologetically. "We should tell Hotch tonight," she whispered after a long moment.
"About us? Tonight?" he asked quietly, dropping a kiss on the crown of her head. "You think we're ready for that?"
"We don't have a choice," she murmured softly against his chest. "Things like this are going to keep happening and it won't end so positively every time. He needs to know so we can be safe. We need to do this for the twins. I don't want to put them in danger again."
He nodded, agreeing. "You're right - we have to do it for the twins. Hotch will be mad at us..."
"Yeah," Emily said quietly, biting her lip. "It won't be pretty. He's going to be furious...not that we can really blame him, considering how long it's been. We're going to be dropping a few huge bombshells on him."
"We should tell rest of the team too. I don't want them to hear it through the grapevine," he added, stroking her hair. "We could tell them on the jet later."
"I don't know," she hesitated. "I don't know if it's such a good idea to tell them all at once - shouldn't we talk to Hotch first? And then we'd have to sit through the rest of the plane ride with them upset at us..."
"We'll talk to Hotch first, then we tell the team later," he agreed, smiling softly. "Maybe after we land, we can go out to dinner with the team. It's your birthday, remember? We should celebrate."
She sighed quietly, muttering under her breath, "Possibly losing our jobs doesn't sound like something to celebrate about." She forced a small smile and nodded, "Sounds like a plan."
"I heard you," he murmured, cupping her cheeks and kissing her softly. "It's going to be fine. He'll understand...with time. Besides, I told you, I'm happy to be a stay-at-home dad to let you keep your job. I don't care what Strauss says, as long as you're happy, I am."