Srsly, livejournal, we have the worst relationship with you.
I only ever come to you when something major "AUGH MY BRAIN" happens.
Fuck. Anyway.
So Jeff, right? Candace has been a crazy bitchbag to him lately. AND THEY'RE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP. And I am sexually frustrated because I always am. But whatever. I talk to him last night, try and help him out. And offer to hang out with him. Because hanging out with friends makes things better usually. So I say I'll go to his house. WHICH I NEVER WANTED TO DO, BECAUSE SHIT LIKE THIS HAPPENS.
Whatever. So I'm over there, we're hanging out, watching comedy and stuff. We kinda get to cuddling after his mom leaves. But then she comes back, we cuddle less because well yeah. And then she leaves again. Then we get to cuddling again. And then. AND THEN. FUCKING AND THEN.
He kisses me. And I let him because he's been nuzzling my neck and that is my FUCKING SPOT THAT WE HAVE DISCOVERED. AND OH MY GOD. FUCK FUCK FUCK. Anyways. He kisses me, whatever. I don't care, I kiss him back. Why? BECAUSE I AM CONSTANTLY SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED. JESUS CHRIST.
And and and. We're making out. He offers to go to his bed, but like the smart woman I am I decline because I am NOT stupid. We keep making out. And SHIT, he does this thing where he kisses my neck and THAT IS MY SPOT WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, GODDAMMIT?! And he does this weird thing that I don't like that's basically dry humping. Goddammit, dry humping is the most awkward thing ever. He probably adores it but I don't, I try to dissuade him, but whatever I honestly don't care. The thing is, he gets to my boobs and FUCKING HELL, THIS HAPPENED. I mean, he's been kissing my neck and he gets to my boobs and I'm not gonna lie, getting your chest kissed if not bad. At all. Even them being groped is fine. Ugh, I kind of didn't want him to but it's better than that god awful dry humping and I mean, it's fine it feels nice and... shit. This whole thing. My life. God. Oh oh oh. He also did this thing where he used his leg and it was between my legs and I just. Idunno. I think I'm glad that my skirt had shorts under because if it was just my funderwear... fuckfuckfuck. Fuckityfuckfuckery. And he asked to use his hands but I said no and he obliged but shit if I might let him next time.
AND THAT'S THE THING. NEXT TIME. LIKE, REALLY, SELF? NEXT TIME?! ARE WE THINKING ABOUT THIS? OF COURSE WE ARE, WE ARE CONSTANTLY SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED. Ughhhhh, so I have a fuck buddy now? Because afterwards, when I finally pulled myself from him and I had to get going 'cause I did... I mean. I knew I had to tell him that it wasn't like I wanted a relationship or anything. And I'm kinda leaving as I'm trying to tell him and Like shit, he kisses me. But I get it out. Something about "only a physical thing" and he's like, "I wouldn't want it any other way." And I'm like, "Cool." Because AS THE GIANTEST OF SLAGS, I AM QUITE HAPPY TO FIND A FUCKBUDDY. And that ASSHOLE grabs my butt after I leave. And while we were making out, BUT I WAS MORE FOCUSED ON MY BOOBS.
GOD. DAMN. IT.
I was yelling at myself in the car the whole way home. BUT. Ditching my previous morals and taking on a new set of, "Fuck the rules, I do what I want!" set of morals, this is okay. These morals are the ones that let me cuddle with Joel and drink while I'm still underage and they're the ones that let me LIVE MY FUCKING LIFE. So I think I'm okay. Maybe.
Problem is, that my goody-two-shoes morals keep coming in to play and I don't want them in my sandbox of young adulthood! They're for adolescence and they think stoners are lame when some stoners are the sweetest of people. SO THERE, YOUNGER SELF. DEAL WITH IT.
I got to second base today. WHATISMYLIFEBECOMING.
ALSOWHYDOIHAVEAVAGINA.SHIT.
Fuck. Anyway.
So Jeff, right? Candace has been a crazy bitchbag to him lately. AND THEY'RE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP. And I am sexually frustrated because I always am. But whatever. I talk to him last night, try and help him out. And offer to hang out with him. Because hanging out with friends makes things better usually. So I say I'll go to his house. WHICH I NEVER WANTED TO DO, BECAUSE SHIT LIKE THIS HAPPENS.
Whatever. So I'm over there, we're hanging out, watching comedy and stuff. We kinda get to cuddling after his mom leaves. But then she comes back, we cuddle less because well yeah. And then she leaves again. Then we get to cuddling again. And then. AND THEN. FUCKING AND THEN.
He kisses me. And I let him because he's been nuzzling my neck and that is my FUCKING SPOT THAT WE HAVE DISCOVERED. AND OH MY GOD. FUCK FUCK FUCK. Anyways. He kisses me, whatever. I don't care, I kiss him back. Why? BECAUSE I AM CONSTANTLY SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED. JESUS CHRIST.
And and and. We're making out. He offers to go to his bed, but like the smart woman I am I decline because I am NOT stupid. We keep making out. And SHIT, he does this thing where he kisses my neck and THAT IS MY SPOT WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, GODDAMMIT?! And he does this weird thing that I don't like that's basically dry humping. Goddammit, dry humping is the most awkward thing ever. He probably adores it but I don't, I try to dissuade him, but whatever I honestly don't care. The thing is, he gets to my boobs and FUCKING HELL, THIS HAPPENED. I mean, he's been kissing my neck and he gets to my boobs and I'm not gonna lie, getting your chest kissed if not bad. At all. Even them being groped is fine. Ugh, I kind of didn't want him to but it's better than that god awful dry humping and I mean, it's fine it feels nice and... shit. This whole thing. My life. God. Oh oh oh. He also did this thing where he used his leg and it was between my legs and I just. Idunno. I think I'm glad that my skirt had shorts under because if it was just my funderwear... fuckfuckfuck. Fuckityfuckfuckery. And he asked to use his hands but I said no and he obliged but shit if I might let him next time.
AND THAT'S THE THING. NEXT TIME. LIKE, REALLY, SELF? NEXT TIME?! ARE WE THINKING ABOUT THIS? OF COURSE WE ARE, WE ARE CONSTANTLY SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED. Ughhhhh, so I have a fuck buddy now? Because afterwards, when I finally pulled myself from him and I had to get going 'cause I did... I mean. I knew I had to tell him that it wasn't like I wanted a relationship or anything. And I'm kinda leaving as I'm trying to tell him and Like shit, he kisses me. But I get it out. Something about "only a physical thing" and he's like, "I wouldn't want it any other way." And I'm like, "Cool." Because AS THE GIANTEST OF SLAGS, I AM QUITE HAPPY TO FIND A FUCKBUDDY. And that ASSHOLE grabs my butt after I leave. And while we were making out, BUT I WAS MORE FOCUSED ON MY BOOBS.
GOD. DAMN. IT.
I was yelling at myself in the car the whole way home. BUT. Ditching my previous morals and taking on a new set of, "Fuck the rules, I do what I want!" set of morals, this is okay. These morals are the ones that let me cuddle with Joel and drink while I'm still underage and they're the ones that let me LIVE MY FUCKING LIFE. So I think I'm okay. Maybe.
Problem is, that my goody-two-shoes morals keep coming in to play and I don't want them in my sandbox of young adulthood! They're for adolescence and they think stoners are lame when some stoners are the sweetest of people. SO THERE, YOUNGER SELF. DEAL WITH IT.
I got to second base today. WHATISMYLIFEBECOMING.
ALSOWHYDOIHAVEAVAGINA.SHIT.