Public post about the anon meme
I know that there were a lot of posts, and that no one but me, self-evidently has time to read them all, and I also don't know what a lot of people are saying about it because either they've filtered me out, I don't have them friended, or I'm just not egocentric enough to go out and ask. But I figured I'd make a quick post outlining things that happened there, things that are going to happen as a result, and misconceptions I want to clear up.
• I am not going to drop from damned. I was pretty upset for awhile, but I've bounced back and I feel a lot better. I know who a lot of the people who attacked me were, and I think I even know why they were so hostile, but I really don't have personal issues with them and I can more or less understand where they're coming from, so it's nothing I can't deal with. If they don't want anything more to do with me, that's a shame, but it's their choice.
• I appreciate both the love I've gotten as a result of the meme, and the pieces of helpful concrit I got during it. Not all of it was constructive, but the bits that were really rocked. It's another reminder of why I love you guys so much~
• Crit really doesn't upset me, as a rule. But anonymous dogpiles of public crit, even if it's done civilly with the best of intentions(and not all of it was), are a lot harder to accept or deal with gracefully than a personal approach - even if that personal approach is still anonymous to an HMD. I know I just recently made my character-specific HMDs available, so I don't necessarily blame people for not knowing they had them as resources...but I stand by the fact that being criticized publicly on the anon meme is going to make anyone defensive from the beginning. I tried to handle things gracefully, and I've received input that I both succeeded and failed at that; I'm going to assume I did both to greater or lesser degrees, and for the successes I'm proud and for the failures I'm sorry.
• Yes, I myself have done stupid, vicious things on the anon meme in the past; I can't even guarantee I won't do such things in the future, because I'm a person and people frequently made idiot mistakes. But I can say that I've never gone to the anon meme with a complaint that I could have addressed directly in some other way, and that I've owned up to and apologized personally for what I've done since. It doesn't make what I did all right, but it does make it better, and since to my knowledge both I and the person affected are at peace with it, I consider the matter closed. If there are others who don't, I'd be happy to talk it over with them and try to make things better in whatever way I can, because I'm still ashamed of my conduct and I want to make any amends I can.
• I will be changing Schuldig as a direct result of the power complaints he's received in the meme, and I'm sorry I didn't recognize the problem sooner because, honestly, it's not something I mind doing at all so I might have been able to head all this off sooner. I've already brought the matter up with Court, though we haven't yet gone over it in detail; we will as soon as we can get together for a proper discussion. I'm also going to talk to Zalia about retconning the Albedo-Song thread with Schuldig and Yohji, since I handled it badly and I'd rather scrap it than let resentment breed over it. Since Schu and Yohji had plans before the optional Song event came up, I'm thinking I'll simply have Schu opt out and try again. I'd also like to talk to Ani about where I can find the canon source where Schuldig's history at Rosenkreuz comes into play, because the point that I either have used that knowing the source it came from or not used it at all was a salient one; depending on whether it changes things significantly for him, I may re-app him with a somewhat reworked history, though hopefully in a way that preserves his CR up to now. (I still debate that I need intimate knowledge of every canon WK source ever, for the record, but I can talk it over further with my more knowledgeable castmates and get their thoughts on the matter.)
• Replying as much as I did in the anon meme did feed things; I know that, and I don't lay the blame solely at the feet of the anons for it going on as long as it did. All I can say is that I don't like to leave objections unaddressed, and it takes a lot to convince me that a debate has reached the point where nothing constructive can come out of further discussion. This frequently serves me poorly on the internet, but that's how I am.
• I know a lot of people perceived my answering Psyche's concerns over Schuldig's post(s) as my contradicting her on her own canon, and thought it was offensive/insulting. That was absolutely not my intention at all, and I'm honestly a little horrified that it might have come off that way because it is insulting to think that someone who doesn't know the canon would contradict someone who actually plays from it. I only meant to explain my reasoning behind why I had Schuldig do what he did, and to then get her thoughts on why said reasoning was or wasn't valid. If I came off in any other way, I am extremely sorry and all I can say was that I never meant it that way; by that point I'd already largely come to agree that I'd had Schuldig figure out too much and that retconning was in order, in any case. Psyche, I don't think you're on my flist but I hope someone links you to this, because I want to apologize to you in particular if I came across as contradictory or rude in any way in my response.
• If you know one of the anons on the meme, and don't approve of what they said/how they handled things(I know there are some of you)...don't be too harsh. I've been a frustrated anon, too, and even the vicious ones had their points. Anyway, it's over; I feel better and I'm going to be making some good changes, and hopefully the anons will be happier as a result, too, whatever they think of me. Allie said we shouldn't start fights on someone else's behalf on the meme; let's not do it anywhere else, either.
• If you were one of the anons on the meme, I hope things get better. I hope I get better. I'm not trying to sound saintly here; I'd just as soon (if not sooner) get better for my own sake as yours. Some of you have given me ideas for how to do that, and I'm genuinely grateful. Those of you who didn't...well, I hope you learn better ways for dealing with problems, but in the meantime all I can do is try to rob you of things to complain about.
• Seriously, did I mention how much I adore you guys? I woke up to this wave of love in my inbox this morning, and that was after I'd decided I wasn't going anywhere. How could I ever leave?
• I am not going to drop from damned. I was pretty upset for awhile, but I've bounced back and I feel a lot better. I know who a lot of the people who attacked me were, and I think I even know why they were so hostile, but I really don't have personal issues with them and I can more or less understand where they're coming from, so it's nothing I can't deal with. If they don't want anything more to do with me, that's a shame, but it's their choice.
• I appreciate both the love I've gotten as a result of the meme, and the pieces of helpful concrit I got during it. Not all of it was constructive, but the bits that were really rocked. It's another reminder of why I love you guys so much~
• Crit really doesn't upset me, as a rule. But anonymous dogpiles of public crit, even if it's done civilly with the best of intentions(and not all of it was), are a lot harder to accept or deal with gracefully than a personal approach - even if that personal approach is still anonymous to an HMD. I know I just recently made my character-specific HMDs available, so I don't necessarily blame people for not knowing they had them as resources...but I stand by the fact that being criticized publicly on the anon meme is going to make anyone defensive from the beginning. I tried to handle things gracefully, and I've received input that I both succeeded and failed at that; I'm going to assume I did both to greater or lesser degrees, and for the successes I'm proud and for the failures I'm sorry.
• Yes, I myself have done stupid, vicious things on the anon meme in the past; I can't even guarantee I won't do such things in the future, because I'm a person and people frequently made idiot mistakes. But I can say that I've never gone to the anon meme with a complaint that I could have addressed directly in some other way, and that I've owned up to and apologized personally for what I've done since. It doesn't make what I did all right, but it does make it better, and since to my knowledge both I and the person affected are at peace with it, I consider the matter closed. If there are others who don't, I'd be happy to talk it over with them and try to make things better in whatever way I can, because I'm still ashamed of my conduct and I want to make any amends I can.
• I will be changing Schuldig as a direct result of the power complaints he's received in the meme, and I'm sorry I didn't recognize the problem sooner because, honestly, it's not something I mind doing at all so I might have been able to head all this off sooner. I've already brought the matter up with Court, though we haven't yet gone over it in detail; we will as soon as we can get together for a proper discussion. I'm also going to talk to Zalia about retconning the Albedo-Song thread with Schuldig and Yohji, since I handled it badly and I'd rather scrap it than let resentment breed over it. Since Schu and Yohji had plans before the optional Song event came up, I'm thinking I'll simply have Schu opt out and try again. I'd also like to talk to Ani about where I can find the canon source where Schuldig's history at Rosenkreuz comes into play, because the point that I either have used that knowing the source it came from or not used it at all was a salient one; depending on whether it changes things significantly for him, I may re-app him with a somewhat reworked history, though hopefully in a way that preserves his CR up to now. (I still debate that I need intimate knowledge of every canon WK source ever, for the record, but I can talk it over further with my more knowledgeable castmates and get their thoughts on the matter.)
• Replying as much as I did in the anon meme did feed things; I know that, and I don't lay the blame solely at the feet of the anons for it going on as long as it did. All I can say is that I don't like to leave objections unaddressed, and it takes a lot to convince me that a debate has reached the point where nothing constructive can come out of further discussion. This frequently serves me poorly on the internet, but that's how I am.
• I know a lot of people perceived my answering Psyche's concerns over Schuldig's post(s) as my contradicting her on her own canon, and thought it was offensive/insulting. That was absolutely not my intention at all, and I'm honestly a little horrified that it might have come off that way because it is insulting to think that someone who doesn't know the canon would contradict someone who actually plays from it. I only meant to explain my reasoning behind why I had Schuldig do what he did, and to then get her thoughts on why said reasoning was or wasn't valid. If I came off in any other way, I am extremely sorry and all I can say was that I never meant it that way; by that point I'd already largely come to agree that I'd had Schuldig figure out too much and that retconning was in order, in any case. Psyche, I don't think you're on my flist but I hope someone links you to this, because I want to apologize to you in particular if I came across as contradictory or rude in any way in my response.
• If you know one of the anons on the meme, and don't approve of what they said/how they handled things(I know there are some of you)...don't be too harsh. I've been a frustrated anon, too, and even the vicious ones had their points. Anyway, it's over; I feel better and I'm going to be making some good changes, and hopefully the anons will be happier as a result, too, whatever they think of me. Allie said we shouldn't start fights on someone else's behalf on the meme; let's not do it anywhere else, either.
• If you were one of the anons on the meme, I hope things get better. I hope I get better. I'm not trying to sound saintly here; I'd just as soon (if not sooner) get better for my own sake as yours. Some of you have given me ideas for how to do that, and I'm genuinely grateful. Those of you who didn't...well, I hope you learn better ways for dealing with problems, but in the meantime all I can do is try to rob you of things to complain about.
• Seriously, did I mention how much I adore you guys? I woke up to this wave of love in my inbox this morning, and that was after I'd decided I wasn't going anywhere. How could I ever leave?