Moments of Clarity 7/?
TITLE Moments of Clarity 7
AUTHOR Neolithic Dream
PAIRING Calzona, some Mark/Lexie
RATING PG13
SUMMARY We all have significant moments in our lives, moments of clarity that shape our future. What happened in that elevator and the aftermath, somewhat introspective in the beginning. Starts with Callies’ POV,will move to Arizonas’ POV and eventually real communication. Spoiler up to ep.7.12 and (possibly by co-incidence only ep.7.13).
DISCLAIMER I do not own Calzona or any of the characters mentioned in this fic. They are the property of Shonda Rhimes/ ABC etc.. This fic is purely written for enjoyment and without intent or prospect of profit. No copyright infringement intended.
A/N This is my first attempt at any type of fiction writing ever never mind fan fiction. It may not be great but I had a surprising amount of fun writing it. Any comments welcome but go easy as I’m a newborn!
A/N 2 So this is nearly the end of my first ever fic! One chapter to go(I think) and I hope to get it posted before the next episode airs on Thursday.Many thanks to all who have commented. I really enjoyed writing it but it gave me a new found appreciation for all those who post new stories on a regular basis without any loss of quality or originality. I bow to all your talents.
Parts 1- 6 can be found at my journal cos I don’t know how to do the link thing ;)
When they finally managed to tear themselves away from each other, ready to face the day it was just after 12.15. They had agreed that Arizona would attempt to get an early OBGYN appointment for Calliope with the Doctor she considered the best in the hospital. Callie had suggested that she just fly to Los Angeles and be seen by Addison but Arizona convinced her that, trust fund or no, it was important to have her OBGYN close at hand. Anyway Addison Forbes Montgomery, one of the top three OBGYNs in the USA, would make a mean second opinion. Knowing too the speed at which gossip travelled at the hospital (not as fast as the speed of light but definitely speedier than sound) they knew the time had come to break the news to the father to be.
They decided to go out to lunch to one of their old haunts (having worked up quite an appetite) and if the weather kept dry maybe go for a walk to their park afterwards. Callie texted Mark on route to the coffee shop telling him she needed to talk to him, on his own, this evening, say, sevenish. They had just ordered when she got a reply:
No prob, off work at 6. But hate to burst your bubble, Torres, I already know! Way to go, rumour has it you and Blondie were doing the McNasty in the elevator last night. Can’t wait to hear if Blondie benefitted from your recent refresher course on the Sloan method ; )
If Callie had needed a reminder on why her friendship with Mark needed to change this was it. She stared at the text, frowned and stared again. Arizona reached across the table, seeing her unease, linked one finger in hers and said “Everything ok, baby?”
“Yeah, Marks free at 7 and...” “What’s wrong?” “Nothing, it’s just... people know about you and me being back together and...” “Wow, that’s fast even for SGMW, but is that so bad, that people know, I mean, you’re not ashamed of me...” Arizona tried to keep the insecurity out of her voice but there was just something about Calliope that shook her to her foundations sometimes.
“No, NO! I’d shout about US from the roof tops...no its just Mark being Mark” “Oh!”
“Look you can read it if you want, I’m not going to hide anything from you, not to do with Mark and...” “Do you want me to know what he said?” “Not really but...”
“Look, Calliope, I believe you when you tell me that you guys are over, for good this time. I believe you when you tell me that the way you and Mark are, that you will change that, that you will keep our life, our private life, well, private from now on. I believe you when you say that as much as possible...aside from the baby...Mark won’t be ever present anymore. I need to believe that because I don’t want to play second fiddle to Mark Sloan in my personal life anymore...”
“Arizona, you were never that..”
“Its how I felt, Cal, I always thought that, that I, we ,came second to your friendship with him but...
“Arizona..” “No, Calliope ,I need to say this, I need to finish this and then I won’t say it again. I believe you when you tell me all that. And I know you mean it and I know you love me and I want to trust you but with everything that has happened, its hard, it’s gonna take time for the trust to come. But the way to build that trust is not by me reading your texts, or bugging your phone conversations or stalking you at the hospital. I don’t want to be that person, I don’t want us to be THAT couple! So I’m going to trust you, I’m choosing to trust you and eventually it won’t be a choice just a fact.”
“I’m not sure I deserve you but I’m so glad I have you.....and...” Calliope giggled as she lowered her voice to a husky whisper “the idea of you stalking me at the hospital is kinda hot!”
After lunch and a leisurely walk, holding hands,at the Park they made their way home.
“Arizona, I need to ask you a favour and..” “Yes,I’ll do it!” “You don’t know what it is yet and..”
“Oh,we both know I can’t say no to you and your awesome boo..” “ARIZONA ROBBINS!” “Wha? Its true,especially now, I mean they are awesome but OMG! They’re going to get bigger and I think I’ll just die and be in heaven and..” “And I thought you loved me for my beautiful mind?” “Hey what can I say, I’m a breast girl!” They laughed and revelled in how easy it was, when it was just the two of them and how lucky they both were to have found their way back home.
“Arizona, will you come with me to Marks this evening?” Silence. “Arizona, please?”
Eventually the silence was broken. “Baby, this might be something you need to tell him on your own, me being there, might just make it harder and..” “I know you’re right but I want, need you to be there by my side.”
MARK
Callie knocked on my door just after 7. The knocking alone should have been enough to tell me something serious was up. That and her rather curt reply to my text earlier. I had been expecting her to tell me she was moving out; the absence of her belongings rendering that somewhat superfluous. I was ready to give her a friendly “are you sure you can trust her?” talk even though I was secretly thrilled for her, for both of them.
What I wasn’t expecting was that Rollergirl would be with her, the two of them gripping each other tightly enough so that the whites of their knuckles were on show. That could only mean one thing -the Sorbet was out- and boy did the Blonde look pissed. I could tell even though she seemed to be avoiding looking at me directly, she looked like a coiled up rattlesnake ready to pounce. Uh-oh.
“Hey gals, want a drink, whites your tipple right,Bl..Arizona?”
“Mark, just sit down will you? We need to talk? Callie said stiffly, as both of them sat on the couch, knees touching, their grip on each other never loosening.
Jeez, lesbian drama, I thought, hot, very hot but way too much drama. Maybe they were both PMSing or something. Double the trouble.
And I don’t know why I said it, I just wanted to lighten things up, maybe the gods were playing with me “Cal, you look like you’re about to tell me that you got Blondie here knocked up and want me to be the Godfather to..”
“She’s not the one who’s knocked up, Mark” Callie said quietly but with steel in her voice. Arizona just shot me a look of pure venom that would fell a lesser man and then stared at the floor.
“I, what,you’re,I ..Oh my god, OH MY GOD!”
I think I sat there for at least a minute, mouth wide open before a single coherent thought entered my brain. And then it happened, just in that moment the fog cleared. I was going to be a DAD, a father, I, we were going to have a baby. And I knew that this was my chance, maybe my last chance, my chance to grow up, to be a man, a real grown up adult man with responsibilities. I was going to be a Dad, I was going to have a baby, a son or a daughter and this time I was going to do it right. I will always regret not being there for Sloane, sure I mean ,I hadn’t known about her but I missed out; she missed out. And having her back in my life was just the greatest pleasure even if well we were working on being a father and a daughter but.. No, this time I would be there and I would do the right thing and..
Damn, Lexie, I mean she didn’t want to hang round last time and she’ll bolt again and Blondie must be half way back to Malawi again... except she wasn’t... she was sitting on my couch being held in a death grip by Callie and..
Thats when I remembered that they were there. Wow I was going to have a baby with my best friend and... her girlfriend and my girlfriend were..? All I knew in that moment that I had to do the right thing for my baby whatever that was so I just said it out loud
“Okay, ok, I want to do the right thing here for the baby, for you Cal. Do you want to get married Callie, I mean, do you want to mar...will you marry me, Callie? Okay not the most romantic proposal ever or the most expected judging by the look of shock(and something not quite definable) in Callies eyes.
“JEE-SUS, seriously,Mark? Do you even see me here? I thought at least with your junk this baby would have”smarts” but right now I’m beginning to see where Sloane Sloan got hers from!” snapped an apoplectic Arizona. So I reacted in kind-“ Look Blondie, I’m trying to do the right thing here so shut the fuck up, why are you even here, this has nothing NOTHING to do with you so BUTT the hell out of OUR business...”
And honestly looking back thats when I think she saved my life! I hadn’t stopped speaking when Callie sprang towards me like a Cobra with a look that said I am going to kill you and hey, Callies ortho and she’s strong and can snap bones! And Arizona had to physically restrain her and just said “Don’t Calliope, don’t, its ok its ok please don’t, just sit down its okay”.
“Damn it, MARK, her name is Arizona or Dr. Robbins to you, not Blondie,not Rollergirl or anything else. You treat her with respect because she is my woman, MY girlfriend and I love her and she is..,will be the mother of this baby and if you want anything to do with my,this baby,you will treat Arizona with respect”
“The right thing to do, the responsible mature adult best friend thing to do, would have been to keep your damn penis away from MY girlfriend!” Arizona said quietly with a firm nod and a pointed look.
We were all sitting down again at this point and silence descended. Arizona and I stared at each other for what seemed an age and eventually I nodded, acknowledging the undeniable truth of what she had said. It all seemed so clear now I could have, should have said no, I could have just held Callie in my arms when she asked for that sorbet and said that she would find her own sorbet when the time was right. Sometimes sex is just sex and sometimes there are consequences.
“Are you going to hang around this time? I asked her. She nodded furiously and said “ Wild Horses wont drag me away from Calliope again and nothing you can say or do will change that.”
“I’m sorry, sorry about all of this” and then I looked at Callie “but I’m not sorry I’m going to be a Dad and I’m going to be a proper Dad, I’m going to play a full role in this Babys life” making it clear that I would not be shunted aside. Then to lighten things up “ hey,this is going to be one hell of a lucky kid, the envy of all the others in the playground, he/she is gonna have one very sexy Dad and two hot, hot Mommas!” For the first time since she came in Bl..I mean Arizona seemed to relax a little sighing in what seemed to be relief.
“Mark if you try anything to stop Arizona having a full role, being a Mom, I swear I’ll..” “Gee Cal, thanks! This is me, Mark, your best friend,when did I turn into the bad guy the monster here?” It hurt.
The tension eased considerably and Cal smiled and said “No Mark, you’re not my best friend, Arizona is, she always has been I just didn’t always know it. Bu-ut you make a damn fine second-in command”. I just about noticed Arizona lightly squeeze her hand,. Yeah those two would be fine, it was me and my manhood I had to worry about.
Arizona stood up and said “You guys have a lot to talk about and..” “No,stay please don’t go” begged Callie tightening her grip once more. “No, you stay and talk and when you’re done I’ll be at home waiting for you, I love you” and I watched as she gave Callie what might just have been the sweetest most loving most gentle smile I have ever witnessed between two adults and she bent down and lightly kissed her on the bridge of her nose.
She turned to me and said “Mark I got Callie an appointment for 11 tomorrow with Dr. Adams,the OBGYN and a sonogram. I’ll be there, but obviously you have a greater right to be there if..”
“I’ll be there” and I reached out to touch her elbow in a gesture of I don’t know friendship and thanks but she flinched. “I’m sorry Mark I’m trying really trying here but you and I we have a long road to travel to get..” “Ok”,I said “but we will get there because you and I are going to be parents.” We both nodded.
She was at the door when I said to her “Arizona, what am I going to say to Lexie? I have to tell her before she hears that I’m with an OBGYN and..”. “Marks I can’t tell y..”
“Yes ,you can, you’re the great speechmaker- how do I get her to stay? What convinced you?
“Look, just tell her, tell her the truth and tell her that you will take whatever she is prepared to give, don’t pressure her but tell her how you feel and , and if she wants to talk to me about it, well she can. But tell her too that if she upsets Callie, well tell her my Dads a marine and he taught me how to kill just using my thumb and index finger!” and she gave me a brief smile and walked out.
“You,ok,Mark?” “Yeah,you?” “Yeah, I’m a bit freaked out by this but Arizona’s been amazing and..”
“You’re lucky, you know that right? That she’s still here that she wants to do this..”
“ Mark ,I know and I meant it, about her being the Mom, a Mom, she’s not just a stepmom or Mommy’s girlfriend!”
“What if, ya know after the baby comes and bonds with her, what if she bails again?” “She won’t, I,I have to ,I choose to trust her and she’s the ONE, Mark, she’s my “Good Man in a Storm”
“oh and Mark, you might want to get on her good side cos my Dad’s gonna want to kill you, and Lexie will want to maim you and Arizonas dad knows HOW to kill you and Arizona, well, she’s the only one with the moves to protect you!”
We talked some more just in vague terms about how this might work and then we agreed to meet at the OBGYNs. I had to go and find Lexie and try to save our relationship somehow so we said goodnight and I told her to go home and tell Robbins she loved her.
ARIZONA
The next day and I was preparing myself for meeting Ca...our baby for the first time even if he/she/it was no bigger than a peanut when I saw Lexie striding purposefully towards me. I put on one of my trademark smiles and breezily began “Little Grey, hey..” “Hey,yourself, you gotta minute” and before I had a chance to reply she was dragging me towards an on call room much to the surprise of my intern and one of my scrub nurses. I swear I heard my nurse say “I thought she wanted back with Torres? “ and I know I heard the intern say “ What, which team does Dr. Grey play for exactly?”. Oh well more grist for the rumour mill.
“ How can you stand it, how can you trust her, them..and now they’re gonna have a baby and ohmigod what if they have twinsorTRIPLETSohmigodohmi..” “Breathe,Lexie,take a deep breath, good girl and now another one..Okay?”
“Look this is not the way I would have planned starting a family with Callie, EVER. And if I had planned it, well Mark definitely wouldn’t be Daddy and Baby wouldn’t be here at all for a couple of years yet so yeah, Curve ball,much? But I love her and I’ve tried to live without her,twice and I can’t.. and I do trust her or I will and well,ya know they didn’t cheat on us,it wasn’t cheating and” gee I silently thought listen to me the voice of reason when I really want to bury Sloan “they weren’t with us and in my case thats my fault. I won’t lie to you,Lex, it would make my life a whole lot easier if you were to stay with Mark, single Mark is a lot harder for me to cope with BUT you have to decide..do you love him enough to stay..to try? I’m going to be a Mom, thats my choice..
“I’m not ready to be a Mom,I’M NOT!! “Well you could be a stepmom one day or awesome Aunt Lexie or Daddys cute girlfriend or..”
“You think I’m cute?” “Seriously,Lexie,thats what you got from all of that?
“well, no, not just that but ya know you are hot and GAY! She had the good grace to laugh and I laughed too. “Yup,on a scale of one to gay,I’m definitely gay!” “And Callie- what is she now?”
I exhaled “ well she is apparently,or so she tells me now, she is Bi...so Yup this baby is going for the full house or is it a royal flush? One straight parent,one bisexual,one lesbian! Now all it needs is a transgender godparent and a gay godparent and sorted. I don’t suppose you want to tell me that you’re a man trapped in a cute womans body? “Noo, but I’ve often wondered about Cristina between you and me and Joe could be your final godparent,and he could double up as bartender too!”. Well at least we’re both laughing now.
“Look lexie, you don’t have to make a final decision now,you have time,if you need it. Maybe give it a try and see how you feel once the baby arrives and..”
“Is that what you’re doing?” “No”,I shook my head, “I’m all in - decision made- and I’m terrified and petrified and maybe a little excited too and..Crap,its nearly 11,if I’m late Callie will start panicking and I gotta go, see ya round Lexie.
And with that it was time to get my wheelies out...