i agree that the old friends are who we shared memories with and our earlier lives with... but i don't think it's unfair to think that way because it's a little bit of a reality... (nyak, i'm not making sense >.<) basta XD
hmm... i don't believe it's only a matter of trust... it's, i think, a matter of having moved on... they may have accepted me for who i am now yet we end up keeping each other at arm's length everytime (we meet, etc.)... worse, most of them contact me these days when favors are needed *shrugs* i can't say i'm used to it by now... but as i've said, i've moved on from those days... it just hurt when my friend asked me something along the lines of, "so, what have you guys done lately?" i said, "nothing... we haven't seen each other... etc. etc. and besides, i feel like i don't belong." and something like this was replied: "yeah, i guess to each his own." [i'm paraphrasing here hehe pero the thought was something like that]
most of these people, i've been with for nearly 15 years now... childhood friends talaga... so their perception of me is different from how you see me, i guess... yep, there is a gap... that's why i say that i think that it's hard for them to see me differently... for them, probably (i'll speak for them now :p), i'm still lee the loner... or lee the "geek"... or lee -whatever-... i think you get the picture :) the way i look back, i was the one people ran to when they needed, say, homework. i was never the party girl (i still am not :)) ) so i don't fit in in their circles of gimiks... i'm the "stay-home-girl" type, cuddling to a good book... :p boring life, i know haha!
maybe it was my fault why my personality became so... centered... isolated... i don't really remember anymore... and i don't want to... the past should just stay in the past ne? the bad memories, i mean... otherwise, i can't move on with my life...
i just wish i could say i can talk to them... and that's the problem... i think i tried but i can count on only... 1 or 2... to talk to... out of 15... actually, i only get to divulge my true secrets to 1 person from my hs batch... (unusual?) thing is it's a guy... i don't have a really close girl friend, if you know what i mean... and the more ironic thing is that this guy only knew me from high school... *smiles* as for college, 2 out of 4 are aware of my problems in life... and i trust them explicitly, these 3 people... and believe me... i don't trust people easily with my feelings that easily... :)
that's the reason why i don't really wish things to be the same as before... because before meant being "happy"... not happy... =) that's why i was questioning whether it was just all an illusion...
i know it isn't... but why does it feel contrary...? =)
errr..i'm not sure if i still get what you mean. :D
nyway. im kinda guilty of that also --> i only contact old friends when i need them.. naging "friendship of convenience" na din XD i cud only wish they don't think i'm using them lng.. ganun naman e. u call them when u need them, they'll call u when they need you.. but you never feel used or wat, it's just seem natural, kase if you're gonna call to go out lng, most of the time they are either too busy or it's inconvenient for them..
nakarelate din ako sa d paglabas. i stay at home almost every weekend. :) ayoko din kse gumastos. XD
*poke* *poke* ok lng yan =) do whatever pleases you :)
hahah *pokes back* :D as i've said, thoughts ko lang siya at present ;) hihi not something i feel all the time hahah i am thankful i have friends and that makes life worthwhile enough ne? ;)
its only natural for old friends not to know you who you are now... at least from my perspective. have you played "the sims"?
in the game (in the event that you havent played it), tendency is that when you are unable to continuously talk to your friends, the "friendship bar" drops -- from friends to just being acquaintances.
such is also the case in real life. and you really dont consider a friend an old friend if you still keep in touch with them, am i not right?
the idea is that they really dont know the present you anymore. and you do not have to insist in updating them your life. not that i am saying they dont care -- its just there is no apparent and immediate reason for you to tell them or for them to know.
another idea is this -- friends do favors for friends. and that is why they ask you favors - because they consider you as a friend and they think they are your friends as well. and those are all that matter =D
---
my apologies for sounding like confucius -- i had my own share of that experience myself =D
heheh generally i would agree... kaso minsan kasi parang "user friendly" (gets? :D) eh... as in i get contacted pag "uy, me kilala ka na gusto bumili...", "uy, ano number ni...", "uy..." heheh minsan parang sarap sabihing, "hi din... kamusta?" :p gets? pero i got the point about doing favors for friends... do that all the time hehe (pag kaya lang... pag utang pera, ibang kuwento na iyan (kaya ba ng wallet? hihi)...
i don't insist on updating people on my life... i only tell when they ask...
hayun :D sorry kung medyo disjointed thoughts ko... hirap magtago habang nasa trabaho hihi ;))
hmm... i don't believe it's only a matter of trust... it's, i think, a matter of having moved on... they may have accepted me for who i am now yet we end up keeping each other at arm's length everytime (we meet, etc.)... worse, most of them contact me these days when favors are needed *shrugs* i can't say i'm used to it by now... but as i've said, i've moved on from those days... it just hurt when my friend asked me something along the lines of, "so, what have you guys done lately?" i said, "nothing... we haven't seen each other... etc. etc. and besides, i feel like i don't belong." and something like this was replied: "yeah, i guess to each his own." [i'm paraphrasing here hehe pero the thought was something like that]
most of these people, i've been with for nearly 15 years now... childhood friends talaga... so their perception of me is different from how you see me, i guess... yep, there is a gap... that's why i say that i think that it's hard for them to see me differently... for them, probably (i'll speak for them now :p), i'm still lee the loner... or lee the "geek"... or lee -whatever-... i think you get the picture :) the way i look back, i was the one people ran to when they needed, say, homework. i was never the party girl (i still am not :)) ) so i don't fit in in their circles of gimiks... i'm the "stay-home-girl" type, cuddling to a good book... :p boring life, i know haha!
maybe it was my fault why my personality became so... centered... isolated... i don't really remember anymore... and i don't want to... the past should just stay in the past ne? the bad memories, i mean... otherwise, i can't move on with my life...
i just wish i could say i can talk to them... and that's the problem... i think i tried but i can count on only... 1 or 2... to talk to... out of 15... actually, i only get to divulge my true secrets to 1 person from my hs batch... (unusual?) thing is it's a guy... i don't have a really close girl friend, if you know what i mean... and the more ironic thing is that this guy only knew me from high school... *smiles* as for college, 2 out of 4 are aware of my problems in life... and i trust them explicitly, these 3 people... and believe me... i don't trust people easily with my feelings that easily... :)
that's the reason why i don't really wish things to be the same as before... because before meant being "happy"... not happy... =) that's why i was questioning whether it was just all an illusion...
i know it isn't... but why does it feel contrary...? =)
Reply
nyway. im kinda guilty of that also --> i only contact old friends when i need them.. naging "friendship of convenience" na din XD i cud only wish they don't think i'm using them lng.. ganun naman e. u call them when u need them, they'll call u when they need you.. but you never feel used or wat, it's just seem natural, kase if you're gonna call to go out lng, most of the time they are either too busy or it's inconvenient for them..
nakarelate din ako sa d paglabas. i stay at home almost every weekend. :) ayoko din kse gumastos. XD
*poke* *poke* ok lng yan =) do whatever pleases you :)
Reply
Reply
in the game (in the event that you havent played it), tendency is that when you are unable to continuously talk to your friends, the "friendship bar" drops -- from friends to just being acquaintances.
such is also the case in real life. and you really dont consider a friend an old friend if you still keep in touch with them, am i not right?
the idea is that they really dont know the present you anymore. and you do not have to insist in updating them your life. not that i am saying they dont care -- its just there is no apparent and immediate reason for you to tell them or for them to know.
another idea is this -- friends do favors for friends. and that is why they ask you favors - because they consider you as a friend and they think they are your friends as well. and those are all that matter =D
---
my apologies for sounding like confucius -- i had my own share of that experience myself =D
Reply
heheh generally i would agree... kaso minsan kasi parang "user friendly" (gets? :D) eh... as in i get contacted pag "uy, me kilala ka na gusto bumili...", "uy, ano number ni...", "uy..." heheh minsan parang sarap sabihing, "hi din... kamusta?" :p gets? pero i got the point about doing favors for friends... do that all the time hehe (pag kaya lang... pag utang pera, ibang kuwento na iyan (kaya ba ng wallet? hihi)...
i don't insist on updating people on my life... i only tell when they ask...
hayun :D sorry kung medyo disjointed thoughts ko... hirap magtago habang nasa trabaho hihi ;))
Reply
Leave a comment