The Misadventures of Jack Daniels
I love my dog, really I do...
I was running late this morning, my fault for oversleeping - so I was rushing around trying to get ready for work. I took the dogs out, put down their food, and went to do my hair and makeup so as to look semi-presentable. I came back into the kitchen, and Jack Daniels wasn't eating. Very odd for him, but I really didn't have time to give it more than a passing thought if I wanted to get to work on time. I sighed, opened up the fridge, and put some blueberry Frosted Mini Wheats on top of his kibble, hoping that it would help. Luckily it did, as Jack is very food motivated, and I breathed a sigh of relief. If Jack doesn't eat, he gets Empty Stomach Syndrome which is a fancy name for "dogs who vomit bile when they haven't eaten enough". I really, REALLY didn't want to be coming home from work to a mess like that. While he finished eating, I quickly finished getting ready for work, and put his sister Midori in her crate (she eats furniture and is not to be trusted). I brought Jack his daily "Momma's leaving for work" cookie, but in a surprising move, he wouldn't take it from me. Now, it was raining outside and Jack is a big baby about thunderstorms and can tell when one is within 50 miles. During bad storms, he is smart enough to head for a room without any windows, or likes to hang out in the condo building hallway, where I'll leash him to my doorknob and leave the door open so I can keep an eye on him. I just figured a storm must be on the way and just dropped the cookie on the floor for him to eat once he was feeling more calm. Little did I know that he had a plan of his own to try to make himself feel better......
I threw on my coat and opened the door, and the little snot ran full speed past me out into the hallway like something was biting his ass! That would have been fine, but he didn't stop there - I have no idea where he thought he was going to go to get away from this storm, but he ran at a breakneck speed down two flights of stairs, out the front door as a neighbor was leaving for work, and then proceeded to JUMP INTO SAID NEIGHBOR'S CAR when the door was opened!!!!! Like I said - I have no idea what was going through his pea-sized little dog brain, but it appeared as if my darling boy was trying to run away from home! Just as my neighbor was realizing he had a stowaway, I was busting through the front door to the building, my inner fat kid gasping for breath like I had just run a marathon. After apologizing profusely for my temporarily insane dog, I retrieved Jack from the car, and carried him, violently shaking, back up to my condo, relief flooding through me that Jack hadn't taken off across the busy street I live on, but had sought comfort in an enclosed vehicle that just happened to be grounded by rubber tires. For all his scatterbrained dog ideas, this one may have actually been smart. Or maybe I'm giving him too much credit.
So here I sit, completely embarrassed, with one neurotic dog, and one very amused neighbor (thank God the entire complex knows my Jack Daniels and his legendary escapades). Sigh. This is right up there with the time that Jack decided to urinate on someone's brand new SUV and set off it's alarm.......
I love my dog.