(no subject)
Title: Something to Talk About (1/?)
Authors: hahn_lover18 and callica318
Pairing: Callie Torres & Erica Hahn
Rating: PG-13 (for now)
Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and its characters and locations are the property of ABC and Shonda Rhimes. No copyright infringement intended.
Summary: Immediately following the kiss from episode 4x15, Callie and Erica go on a journey of discovery and realisations.
Spoilers: Contains heavy season 4 spoilers.
Feedback: We’re first-timers at this so we’d love some!
“You wouldn’t find it intimidating?”
“Not at all”
And then she kissed her and Callie’s world went spinning. She was too shocked to respond and it was over almost before it began. But it was the most sensuous, erotic kiss Callie had ever had. And then she was gone and Callie was rooted to the spot. Her body was tingling all over and her lips were burning. She had kissed her. Erica Hahn had kissed her. Her best friend and confidant, the foremost cardiothoracic surgeon in the country, a woman had kissed her. And God help her she had liked it, no loved it, no craved it. And then she heard Mark (she had forgotten he was there) say “damn it!” Damn it was right, she thought, damn it her best friend had just kissed her, damn it if she couldn’t think properly because of it and damn it Addison was right…again! When had this happened? When had her and Erica crossed that friendship line? Was the line even there to begin with? These questions swum around in Callie’s head but all she could think of was how soft Erica’s lips had been and how gently she had caressed her face. Callie had to hold back a shiver at the memory of it. Then she snapped back to reality, Mark had left the elevator already and she was pretty sure he had said something about an on call room. Oh God now Callie was thinking about the on call room and Erica and those royal blue scrubs and that gorgeous blonde hair and…. Callie squeezed her eyes shut but she just couldn’t get the image out of her head. She shook her head hoping to clear it. This wasn’t happening, she wasn’t having these thoughts about her best friend. Her female best friend. After all she liked penis just as much as the next straight girl, right? RIGHT? So Callie did the only thing she could; she followed Mark trying every step of the way to get Erica off her mind and out of her heart.
Erica was walking towards her car, she didn’t know where to go next though she supposed it didn’t matter since no matter where she was she would spend the night drinking and thinking about Callie. Callie, the beautiful woman who seemed to be in her thoughts at all times, going so far as to infiltrate her mind during her surgeries, where she was usually most focused. As confident and intense a person as she was, when it came to Callie she was having more and more trouble staying in control because from the moment they had met it seemed Erica was fighting a losing battle with her emotions. With Callie she was not so much the confident heart surgeon but the girl falling for her best friend, and that terrified her. It had gotten to the point that Erica couldn’t imagine her life without Callie in it, and that was why she had laughed off Addison’s ever-accurate comment about them, because having Callie as a friend was better than not having her at all. But that same moment was a glimmer of hope for her because she recognized that Callie was scared of something and maybe, just maybe she was beginning to reciprocate her feelings. Now the only thing in the way was Mark Sloan and his beloved penis. But Erica Hahn was not one to back down from a challenge and she would kill a patient before she would let McShallow get away with the woman she lov-…liked a lot. Yes she was going to prove that she was better for Callie, as a lover and as a friend. And so she had kissed her, praying to God that she hadn’t scared her off and knowing that she could always blame it on teasing Mark had Callie been really disgusted. But she hadn’t been, she had been shocked, which Erica couldn’t blame her for, but she definitely hadn’t been disgusted. And that made Erica’s heart do a little dance of joy; she couldn’t wait for what was in store for them.
The next morning found Callie carefully sneaking out of the on call room, fully aware that she had completely tired Mark out. Was it her fault that every time she thought of Erica she and Mark had round after round of emotionless sex? And she thought about Erica entirely too much, which was probably why even the manwhore was exhausted! Callie had thought that sleeping with Mark would clear her head, confirm her heterosexuality or something but it had just made it worse. Suddenly she noticed how Mark's hair was too short when she longed to run her fingers through the silky, smoothness of Erica's. And how Mark's lips could not even compare to the velvety softness of hers. And how more then ever Callie wished she had kissed her back because...Damn it! She had to stop thinking about Erica! She decided she would find as many surgeries as possible, if she had to break some bones first to do it! Anything to avoid and take her mind off the gorgeous blonde who haunted her every thought.
Erica was tired. Not just physically tired, but emotionally tired and she was damn sick of it. She was embarrassed to admit that she had spent half of the night going over what had happened in that elevator and more specifically, what HADN'T happened AFTER the elevator. Yes, it was safe to say that Erica Hahn was pissed. She was angry at Mark for trying to be something he wasn't, and she was livid at Callie for trying to not be something she probably was! It was ridiculous! "We are all a bunch of fucking actors, in this hospital, desperately trying to play a part that does not suit us personally!" she thought to herself. Why-WHY- would Callie, after obviously being completely stunned by Erica's kiss, why would she choose Mark, AGAIN? Erica had felt a spark of something ever since the two became friends after Callie's disastrous marriage. She couldn't remember how they had fallen into place together, it had just sort of happened. Erica didn't make friends easily, but she liked Callie. They both hated the same people, so it worked. However, ever since they started doing more and more things together, that underlying tension, feeling, suspension, started to grow, and Erica soon realized that she didn't just like Callie as a friend. She was discovering that she liked Callie as a woman. As a woman that she wanted to be with--be with romantically. She wanted to keep her safe and love her and fight with her and touch her. She wanted make Callie live and love.
So when she had kissed her last night, trying to wave it off as proof that Mark wouldn't be able to keep up with them in bed (which was so true), and her mouth descended slowly but softly onto Callie’s bubblegum lips, Erica Hahn's heart exploded, and not even she, she thought, would be able to repair it. That was why she unconsciously had started to stroke Callie's cheek. It wasn't supposed to be that intimate, that was a gesture that could speak volumes, and Erica didn't want to speak volumes just yet. Even worse, Sloan saw it, and she knew he did. His face was all too readable afterwards. And as she was walking out to her car she had to admit, she had never felt so alive or so happy in her entire life. She had a reason to live a reason to wake up and go to work. She had kissed Callie Torres, her best friend, and it hadn't felt like a friendly kiss, it had felt like a romantic kiss. And Callie had been blown away. Erica knew that much for sure. And she was pretty damn smug about that fact. So when she had waited at her car for over half an hour, hoping that Callie would run after her and they could finally talk about all of this, and it HADN"T happened, Erica was hurt. Very hurt. Erica's heart had bled, the entire night. Because if she hadn't gone to the parking lot, that must have meant that she had gone with Sloan. Erica sighed, as she re-played her emotions and thoughts from yesterday and shook her head in vain, desperately trying to force herself to focus. She walked into the hospital and changed into her scrubs and lab coat, praying that she wouldn't run into Callie; she was not ready to meet her. After meeting with the chief to discuss a surgery she scheduled to do later that morning, Erica walked down the hall, and eyed a nearby on call room, withholding the urge to spit in its general direction.
Callie walked out of the OR in a much better mood. She had made two grown men scream and cry and it pleased her to know that at least with some aspects of her life she was totally in control. She was about to go in search of another confidence-building surgery when the room spun slightly, reminding her that even kick ass ortho surgeons needed food.
Erica headed to the cafeteria, extremely pleased that the surgery had gone so well and that her patient's heart no longer had any form of arrhythmia. She grabbed a salad and an apple as well as a bottle of water and sat down at what usually was "their" table, but what was today "her" table.
As Callie approached the cafeteria a thought hit her that made her feel even worse than her hunger. Lunchtime was her and Erica's thing. No matter how busy their schedules got they always made time for each other at lunch. Callie groaned at the thought of having to sit alone but she didn't know how to face Erica after what had happened. She could only pray that Erica had a long surgery today. But as usual with Callie's life luck just didn't cut it and as she approached the seating area there was Erica sitting at their usual table. Callie began to panic. Should she sit with her, or pretend she didn't see her, or maybe just eat somewhere else entirely? Before Callie could make up her mind Erica turned her head and their eyes locked. Callie saw a flicker of pain flash across Erica's eyes and felt guilty beyond belief knowing she had caused it. What was worse, Callie realized with horror, was that more than anything she wanted to kiss that look of pain off Erica's face. Knowing it was too late to turn back now she gathered up her courage and went to sit down next to her best friend.
Erica pursed her lips into their legendary thin, small line, as she met Callie's stare. Through the corner of her eye she seen her, had watched her walk into the dining hall, and had waited to see how long it would take her to realize Erica's existence. Well she had finally noticed, and her eyes had caused Erica's throat to tighten into a knot. Glancing down placidly at her salad, doing her best I-don't-give-a-shit-about-you-or-who-you-decide-to-sleep-with face, Erica boldly, but definitely acknowledged Callie's presence with a stern, "Dr. Torres." and a slight nod.
Callie felt the words like a punch to her solar plexus. That was the voice that Erica reserved for people that bothered her, people like Christina Yang or Mark Sloan. Callie realized that sitting across from her was Dr. Hahn, the cardio goddess, and not her Erica. At that moment Callie thought she'd give anything for Erica to give her one of those 1000-watt smiles she reserved just for. But she knew she had caused this mess and it was obvious that it would be up to her to begin repairing it. The problem was she had no idea where to even begin. What had Erica expected her to do after the kiss? Callie still didn't even know what it meant entirely. Had it just been to tease Mark? Or had Erica really meant it, as Callie suspected and hoped she had? She wanted to ask her all these questions but the last thing she needed was to upset her more than she already had. Before she could say anything Erica spoke up.
"Care to join me?" she asked, stiffly, as she gently forked her food around.
Callie flinched again at the harshness in Erica's voice. "Umm yeah, if that's okay..." Callie replied and Erica just shrugged so Callie plopped herself down opposite from her.
"So..." Erica said slowly, after Callie had sat down, "...how was your night?" although she wasn't asking to be polite but last night seemed to be the only thing on her mind.
Callie cringed, from the tone in her voice she knew Erica knew what had happened after she left her in the elevator. It was something she was far from proud of and she wanted Erica to know that but she didn't know how to even begin explaining to her the complexity of what she was feeling. "It was..." ugly, dirty, painful were all words that came to Callie's mind but instead she just said "fine...and yours?" and held her breath waiting for Erica's response.
"Mine was peachy." She replied, punching the "p" sound, while spearing a cucumber with her fork. "What did you do?" She tried, to ask innocently, although she really wanted to ask her why she did who she did!
Callie blushed profusely knowing that Erica had already figured out what or rather who she had done. "Oh you know..." Callie replied nervously "just hung around...how about you?"
"Went home alone...and sat." Erica answered, playing the guilt card to her advantage.
Callie turned even redder now, a combination of embarrassment and guilt proving almost too much for her to bear. What could she possibly say to that?! She decided to start playing the honesty card. "Erica..." she began "I'm sorry...that you had to spend the night alone." If it was possible Callie turned even redder. Had she really just said that?!
Immediately Erica looked up from her food and stared tight-lipped at Callie. Had she really just had the nerve to say that!? she screamed to herself. Her nostrils flared, and she quickly uncrossed her legs and let her foot land with a thud on the other side of the center table pole. She scooted her chair back and before leaving she said, "At least I didn't have to resort to Sloan to relieve any UNWANTED sexual tensions!" She grabbed her tray, turned on her heel, and started to storm out of the cafeteria. This was NOT good; Erica Hahn was NOT in control of her emotions any more. She was no longer being the Professional. She was being human. "Fuck!" she cursed under her breath, as she raced down the hallway. Erica nearly bowled over Yang as she made her way to the elevator. She bellowed some emergency heart surgery excuse so that the nurses and residents would get the hell out of her way. They parted like the Red Sea, and Erica was able to step into the elevator and heave a breath of relief.
Back at the table Callie sat dumbfounded. She couldn't believe Erica had just said that and that she had lost her cool completely, which was so unlike her! It took a second before Callie realized she had to follow her and explain...well she still wasn't sure exactly what she would say but she had to say something. She left her tray as is and darted towards the hall she'd seen Erica go. As she rounded the corner she saw a glimpse of blonde hair disappearing into the elevator. She pushed her body into overdrive, raced for the elevator and pressed the button just as the doors were closing. To her good luck (finally!) the elevator doors opened immediately to reveal a distraught looking Erica. She quickly stepped in beside her as the doors closed.
Erica witnessed this scene dumbfounded. Of all the times for Callie to chase after her, she chose this time to actually do it! She starred at her hardly, with her peripheral vision, before making herself concentrate on the floor number that the elevator was ascending to. "What do you want?" she asked, crossing her arms over her waist.
Panic began to settle over Callie again. Getting into the elevator had seemed like a good plan but now she was again at a loss for words. She wanted to apologize to Erica for hurting her. She wanted to explain that she was scared because she was feeling something she's never felt before. But most of all what she wanted was Erica. And that scared the crap out of her. She opened her mouth several times to speak but no words came out. Finally she settled on staring pleadingly at Erica just hoping she'd look into her eyes and see how she really felt.
Erica gave her her classic "Yes...?" look that she always threw Yang when she was stuttering to say something. "Look Torres, I don't have all day. I have a life-threatening operation that I have to do, so I don't have time for your bullshit!" She said harshly.
Callie was stunned even further into silence, she knew Erica would be mad but she hadn't expected her to be so unforgiving. Though if she was being honest with herself she probably would have reacted the same way had the roles been reversed. She knew she had to be blunt to get through to Erica so she quietly began to speak "Erica, yesterday when we...well when I...when you ki..." just when she seemed to have gotten Erica's attention the doors opened and in walked Mark Sloan in all his cocky glory. He winked at Callie and gave Erica a lusty look. Callie wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. She looked from Erica to Mark and back to Erica with a panicked look on her face.
Erica shook her head and rolled her eyes angrily as Sloan stepped in, "Typical." she muttered, under her breath. Tapping her foot in anticipation, Erica watched as the elevator was about to reach its next level. But as it neared, her frustration and anger only multiplied, and Erica Hahn was on the verge of lashing out at both of them. Seeing that it had stopped, Erica turned to the other two passengers and said, "Don't worry, I'll make this easy for you." and walked swiftly out of the elevator, looking back to glare once more at Callie.
Callie felt her blood boil. She had been so close to finally breaking through to Erica and Mark had ruined it. Of all the people to walk through those doors it just had to be Mark Sloan. He was looking at her inquisitively "did I miss something?" he asked. And Callie was so mad she couldn't even form words. Before she knew it she had slapped him right across his smug face and stormed out of the elevator.
***
Thanks so much for reading, we know it's long but we hope you enjoyed it so far!
Updates found here:
Chapter 2: http://hahn-lover18.livejournal.com/1348.html
Chapter 3: http://hahn-lover18.livejournal.com/2142.html
Chapter 4: http://hahn-lover18.livejournal.com/2367.html
Chapter 5 (Part 1 of 2): http://hahn-lover18.livejournal.com/2658.html#cutid1
Authors: hahn_lover18 and callica318
Pairing: Callie Torres & Erica Hahn
Rating: PG-13 (for now)
Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and its characters and locations are the property of ABC and Shonda Rhimes. No copyright infringement intended.
Summary: Immediately following the kiss from episode 4x15, Callie and Erica go on a journey of discovery and realisations.
Spoilers: Contains heavy season 4 spoilers.
Feedback: We’re first-timers at this so we’d love some!
“You wouldn’t find it intimidating?”
“Not at all”
And then she kissed her and Callie’s world went spinning. She was too shocked to respond and it was over almost before it began. But it was the most sensuous, erotic kiss Callie had ever had. And then she was gone and Callie was rooted to the spot. Her body was tingling all over and her lips were burning. She had kissed her. Erica Hahn had kissed her. Her best friend and confidant, the foremost cardiothoracic surgeon in the country, a woman had kissed her. And God help her she had liked it, no loved it, no craved it. And then she heard Mark (she had forgotten he was there) say “damn it!” Damn it was right, she thought, damn it her best friend had just kissed her, damn it if she couldn’t think properly because of it and damn it Addison was right…again! When had this happened? When had her and Erica crossed that friendship line? Was the line even there to begin with? These questions swum around in Callie’s head but all she could think of was how soft Erica’s lips had been and how gently she had caressed her face. Callie had to hold back a shiver at the memory of it. Then she snapped back to reality, Mark had left the elevator already and she was pretty sure he had said something about an on call room. Oh God now Callie was thinking about the on call room and Erica and those royal blue scrubs and that gorgeous blonde hair and…. Callie squeezed her eyes shut but she just couldn’t get the image out of her head. She shook her head hoping to clear it. This wasn’t happening, she wasn’t having these thoughts about her best friend. Her female best friend. After all she liked penis just as much as the next straight girl, right? RIGHT? So Callie did the only thing she could; she followed Mark trying every step of the way to get Erica off her mind and out of her heart.
Erica was walking towards her car, she didn’t know where to go next though she supposed it didn’t matter since no matter where she was she would spend the night drinking and thinking about Callie. Callie, the beautiful woman who seemed to be in her thoughts at all times, going so far as to infiltrate her mind during her surgeries, where she was usually most focused. As confident and intense a person as she was, when it came to Callie she was having more and more trouble staying in control because from the moment they had met it seemed Erica was fighting a losing battle with her emotions. With Callie she was not so much the confident heart surgeon but the girl falling for her best friend, and that terrified her. It had gotten to the point that Erica couldn’t imagine her life without Callie in it, and that was why she had laughed off Addison’s ever-accurate comment about them, because having Callie as a friend was better than not having her at all. But that same moment was a glimmer of hope for her because she recognized that Callie was scared of something and maybe, just maybe she was beginning to reciprocate her feelings. Now the only thing in the way was Mark Sloan and his beloved penis. But Erica Hahn was not one to back down from a challenge and she would kill a patient before she would let McShallow get away with the woman she lov-…liked a lot. Yes she was going to prove that she was better for Callie, as a lover and as a friend. And so she had kissed her, praying to God that she hadn’t scared her off and knowing that she could always blame it on teasing Mark had Callie been really disgusted. But she hadn’t been, she had been shocked, which Erica couldn’t blame her for, but she definitely hadn’t been disgusted. And that made Erica’s heart do a little dance of joy; she couldn’t wait for what was in store for them.
The next morning found Callie carefully sneaking out of the on call room, fully aware that she had completely tired Mark out. Was it her fault that every time she thought of Erica she and Mark had round after round of emotionless sex? And she thought about Erica entirely too much, which was probably why even the manwhore was exhausted! Callie had thought that sleeping with Mark would clear her head, confirm her heterosexuality or something but it had just made it worse. Suddenly she noticed how Mark's hair was too short when she longed to run her fingers through the silky, smoothness of Erica's. And how Mark's lips could not even compare to the velvety softness of hers. And how more then ever Callie wished she had kissed her back because...Damn it! She had to stop thinking about Erica! She decided she would find as many surgeries as possible, if she had to break some bones first to do it! Anything to avoid and take her mind off the gorgeous blonde who haunted her every thought.
Erica was tired. Not just physically tired, but emotionally tired and she was damn sick of it. She was embarrassed to admit that she had spent half of the night going over what had happened in that elevator and more specifically, what HADN'T happened AFTER the elevator. Yes, it was safe to say that Erica Hahn was pissed. She was angry at Mark for trying to be something he wasn't, and she was livid at Callie for trying to not be something she probably was! It was ridiculous! "We are all a bunch of fucking actors, in this hospital, desperately trying to play a part that does not suit us personally!" she thought to herself. Why-WHY- would Callie, after obviously being completely stunned by Erica's kiss, why would she choose Mark, AGAIN? Erica had felt a spark of something ever since the two became friends after Callie's disastrous marriage. She couldn't remember how they had fallen into place together, it had just sort of happened. Erica didn't make friends easily, but she liked Callie. They both hated the same people, so it worked. However, ever since they started doing more and more things together, that underlying tension, feeling, suspension, started to grow, and Erica soon realized that she didn't just like Callie as a friend. She was discovering that she liked Callie as a woman. As a woman that she wanted to be with--be with romantically. She wanted to keep her safe and love her and fight with her and touch her. She wanted make Callie live and love.
So when she had kissed her last night, trying to wave it off as proof that Mark wouldn't be able to keep up with them in bed (which was so true), and her mouth descended slowly but softly onto Callie’s bubblegum lips, Erica Hahn's heart exploded, and not even she, she thought, would be able to repair it. That was why she unconsciously had started to stroke Callie's cheek. It wasn't supposed to be that intimate, that was a gesture that could speak volumes, and Erica didn't want to speak volumes just yet. Even worse, Sloan saw it, and she knew he did. His face was all too readable afterwards. And as she was walking out to her car she had to admit, she had never felt so alive or so happy in her entire life. She had a reason to live a reason to wake up and go to work. She had kissed Callie Torres, her best friend, and it hadn't felt like a friendly kiss, it had felt like a romantic kiss. And Callie had been blown away. Erica knew that much for sure. And she was pretty damn smug about that fact. So when she had waited at her car for over half an hour, hoping that Callie would run after her and they could finally talk about all of this, and it HADN"T happened, Erica was hurt. Very hurt. Erica's heart had bled, the entire night. Because if she hadn't gone to the parking lot, that must have meant that she had gone with Sloan. Erica sighed, as she re-played her emotions and thoughts from yesterday and shook her head in vain, desperately trying to force herself to focus. She walked into the hospital and changed into her scrubs and lab coat, praying that she wouldn't run into Callie; she was not ready to meet her. After meeting with the chief to discuss a surgery she scheduled to do later that morning, Erica walked down the hall, and eyed a nearby on call room, withholding the urge to spit in its general direction.
Callie walked out of the OR in a much better mood. She had made two grown men scream and cry and it pleased her to know that at least with some aspects of her life she was totally in control. She was about to go in search of another confidence-building surgery when the room spun slightly, reminding her that even kick ass ortho surgeons needed food.
Erica headed to the cafeteria, extremely pleased that the surgery had gone so well and that her patient's heart no longer had any form of arrhythmia. She grabbed a salad and an apple as well as a bottle of water and sat down at what usually was "their" table, but what was today "her" table.
As Callie approached the cafeteria a thought hit her that made her feel even worse than her hunger. Lunchtime was her and Erica's thing. No matter how busy their schedules got they always made time for each other at lunch. Callie groaned at the thought of having to sit alone but she didn't know how to face Erica after what had happened. She could only pray that Erica had a long surgery today. But as usual with Callie's life luck just didn't cut it and as she approached the seating area there was Erica sitting at their usual table. Callie began to panic. Should she sit with her, or pretend she didn't see her, or maybe just eat somewhere else entirely? Before Callie could make up her mind Erica turned her head and their eyes locked. Callie saw a flicker of pain flash across Erica's eyes and felt guilty beyond belief knowing she had caused it. What was worse, Callie realized with horror, was that more than anything she wanted to kiss that look of pain off Erica's face. Knowing it was too late to turn back now she gathered up her courage and went to sit down next to her best friend.
Erica pursed her lips into their legendary thin, small line, as she met Callie's stare. Through the corner of her eye she seen her, had watched her walk into the dining hall, and had waited to see how long it would take her to realize Erica's existence. Well she had finally noticed, and her eyes had caused Erica's throat to tighten into a knot. Glancing down placidly at her salad, doing her best I-don't-give-a-shit-about-you-or-who-you-decide-to-sleep-with face, Erica boldly, but definitely acknowledged Callie's presence with a stern, "Dr. Torres." and a slight nod.
Callie felt the words like a punch to her solar plexus. That was the voice that Erica reserved for people that bothered her, people like Christina Yang or Mark Sloan. Callie realized that sitting across from her was Dr. Hahn, the cardio goddess, and not her Erica. At that moment Callie thought she'd give anything for Erica to give her one of those 1000-watt smiles she reserved just for. But she knew she had caused this mess and it was obvious that it would be up to her to begin repairing it. The problem was she had no idea where to even begin. What had Erica expected her to do after the kiss? Callie still didn't even know what it meant entirely. Had it just been to tease Mark? Or had Erica really meant it, as Callie suspected and hoped she had? She wanted to ask her all these questions but the last thing she needed was to upset her more than she already had. Before she could say anything Erica spoke up.
"Care to join me?" she asked, stiffly, as she gently forked her food around.
Callie flinched again at the harshness in Erica's voice. "Umm yeah, if that's okay..." Callie replied and Erica just shrugged so Callie plopped herself down opposite from her.
"So..." Erica said slowly, after Callie had sat down, "...how was your night?" although she wasn't asking to be polite but last night seemed to be the only thing on her mind.
Callie cringed, from the tone in her voice she knew Erica knew what had happened after she left her in the elevator. It was something she was far from proud of and she wanted Erica to know that but she didn't know how to even begin explaining to her the complexity of what she was feeling. "It was..." ugly, dirty, painful were all words that came to Callie's mind but instead she just said "fine...and yours?" and held her breath waiting for Erica's response.
"Mine was peachy." She replied, punching the "p" sound, while spearing a cucumber with her fork. "What did you do?" She tried, to ask innocently, although she really wanted to ask her why she did who she did!
Callie blushed profusely knowing that Erica had already figured out what or rather who she had done. "Oh you know..." Callie replied nervously "just hung around...how about you?"
"Went home alone...and sat." Erica answered, playing the guilt card to her advantage.
Callie turned even redder now, a combination of embarrassment and guilt proving almost too much for her to bear. What could she possibly say to that?! She decided to start playing the honesty card. "Erica..." she began "I'm sorry...that you had to spend the night alone." If it was possible Callie turned even redder. Had she really just said that?!
Immediately Erica looked up from her food and stared tight-lipped at Callie. Had she really just had the nerve to say that!? she screamed to herself. Her nostrils flared, and she quickly uncrossed her legs and let her foot land with a thud on the other side of the center table pole. She scooted her chair back and before leaving she said, "At least I didn't have to resort to Sloan to relieve any UNWANTED sexual tensions!" She grabbed her tray, turned on her heel, and started to storm out of the cafeteria. This was NOT good; Erica Hahn was NOT in control of her emotions any more. She was no longer being the Professional. She was being human. "Fuck!" she cursed under her breath, as she raced down the hallway. Erica nearly bowled over Yang as she made her way to the elevator. She bellowed some emergency heart surgery excuse so that the nurses and residents would get the hell out of her way. They parted like the Red Sea, and Erica was able to step into the elevator and heave a breath of relief.
Back at the table Callie sat dumbfounded. She couldn't believe Erica had just said that and that she had lost her cool completely, which was so unlike her! It took a second before Callie realized she had to follow her and explain...well she still wasn't sure exactly what she would say but she had to say something. She left her tray as is and darted towards the hall she'd seen Erica go. As she rounded the corner she saw a glimpse of blonde hair disappearing into the elevator. She pushed her body into overdrive, raced for the elevator and pressed the button just as the doors were closing. To her good luck (finally!) the elevator doors opened immediately to reveal a distraught looking Erica. She quickly stepped in beside her as the doors closed.
Erica witnessed this scene dumbfounded. Of all the times for Callie to chase after her, she chose this time to actually do it! She starred at her hardly, with her peripheral vision, before making herself concentrate on the floor number that the elevator was ascending to. "What do you want?" she asked, crossing her arms over her waist.
Panic began to settle over Callie again. Getting into the elevator had seemed like a good plan but now she was again at a loss for words. She wanted to apologize to Erica for hurting her. She wanted to explain that she was scared because she was feeling something she's never felt before. But most of all what she wanted was Erica. And that scared the crap out of her. She opened her mouth several times to speak but no words came out. Finally she settled on staring pleadingly at Erica just hoping she'd look into her eyes and see how she really felt.
Erica gave her her classic "Yes...?" look that she always threw Yang when she was stuttering to say something. "Look Torres, I don't have all day. I have a life-threatening operation that I have to do, so I don't have time for your bullshit!" She said harshly.
Callie was stunned even further into silence, she knew Erica would be mad but she hadn't expected her to be so unforgiving. Though if she was being honest with herself she probably would have reacted the same way had the roles been reversed. She knew she had to be blunt to get through to Erica so she quietly began to speak "Erica, yesterday when we...well when I...when you ki..." just when she seemed to have gotten Erica's attention the doors opened and in walked Mark Sloan in all his cocky glory. He winked at Callie and gave Erica a lusty look. Callie wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. She looked from Erica to Mark and back to Erica with a panicked look on her face.
Erica shook her head and rolled her eyes angrily as Sloan stepped in, "Typical." she muttered, under her breath. Tapping her foot in anticipation, Erica watched as the elevator was about to reach its next level. But as it neared, her frustration and anger only multiplied, and Erica Hahn was on the verge of lashing out at both of them. Seeing that it had stopped, Erica turned to the other two passengers and said, "Don't worry, I'll make this easy for you." and walked swiftly out of the elevator, looking back to glare once more at Callie.
Callie felt her blood boil. She had been so close to finally breaking through to Erica and Mark had ruined it. Of all the people to walk through those doors it just had to be Mark Sloan. He was looking at her inquisitively "did I miss something?" he asked. And Callie was so mad she couldn't even form words. Before she knew it she had slapped him right across his smug face and stormed out of the elevator.
***
Thanks so much for reading, we know it's long but we hope you enjoyed it so far!
Updates found here:
Chapter 2: http://hahn-lover18.livejournal.com/1348.html
Chapter 3: http://hahn-lover18.livejournal.com/2142.html
Chapter 4: http://hahn-lover18.livejournal.com/2367.html
Chapter 5 (Part 1 of 2): http://hahn-lover18.livejournal.com/2658.html#cutid1