Only in England
Two words: Replacement Bus.
A nightmarish term, perhaps one of the most abhorrant in the everyday English Language. Perhaps I am exaggerating but it's likely I'm not.
Today on the way to the ice rink my tram suddenly came to a stop in Stretford. Ahead at the Sale stop there was a broken down vehicle on the tracks. Since they figured it would be a long time before the problem was resolved it was heavily advised by the tram driver for us to take the replacement bus to Altrincham.
It was beyond awful. Not only did a 4 minute tram journey take TWENTY FIVE MINUTES but the dirtiest, most foul smelling old (probably looked older than they were due to aforementioned rammyness) couple sat directly in front of me! I had to hol my book to my nose so as to obliterate the smell.
You know it's only in Britain where you can reasonably say 'See that train ticket, use it on the bus'. Travelling tourists must get very confused sometimes when trains breakdown
Tourist: Here's my ticket
Ticketmaster: Just over there
Tourist (Arriving at 'over there': I have a train ticket
Bus driver: Yep, that's right
Tourist: But this ticket is for a train
Bus Driver: (deadpan) Get on the bus.
I realise that imaginary tourist speaks very good English.