"Why are all these non-ninjas loitering about?"
Taitei no Ken: or, Nyah Nyah ninjas, Androgynous Bishounen, and My, that's a Giant Sword you have.
Otherwise known as The Sword of Alexander.
It's hard to categorize just exactly what this film is: straight up parody of fantasy/sci-fi epics meets the awesomely bad costumed shenanigans of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, or satire of historical sagas with a mythological twist...as if Shinobi met Monty Python in a bar, proceeded to get drunk, catch a Godzilla flick, and then had a baby with omniscent voice-over powers. Maybe that's what this film is.
All I know was is that it was so bad it was fantastic, and worthy of Mystery Science 3000 commentary.
The basic gist of the plot is that there is a Chosen one to wield three mystical tools of power, and that these tools of power happened to conveniently touch down in Japan, and oh, there are aliens in spaceships who are looking for these tools as well.
Throughout the entire movie, everyone comments on how big Abe Hiroshi's sword is.
This is Sleight of Hand..I forget his name, but easily my favorite villain, as he's completely bumbling. His special power is that he can leap great distances in a single bound, and he's also good at magic tricks.
And he's an albino ninja.
Who is very annoyed to be thwarted in his plans to kill Abe, by this mysterious figure:
That's right. That's Meisa Kuroki as a male swordsman, mysterious of smile and ways. It is what I call the "Johnny role," as she's basically there to provide attractive scenery and be cool.
And spy on Abe and try to get his hands on the Giant Sword of Destiny.
Visual gags abound. Abe is easily the tallest of everyone in this film, and add to the height his impressive hair - and yes, clearly, he is a legend in his own history.
there is a princess...
and her bumbling, devoted childhood friend/manservant who's secretly in love with her
and well, he's not quite up to Abe-standards.
More of Meisa looking mysterious and cool:
Abe Hiroshi:
and last, but certainly not least:
This is really just a capsule commentary - Taitei no Ken is such a vast wonderland of crack - there's alien possession, villains that try to kill Abe with either their hair or insects, and just....solid gold WTFery.
here's my gallery of screencaps. I might add more - because this movie certainly does invite rewatching. If only to ff to key scenes.
Otherwise known as The Sword of Alexander.
It's hard to categorize just exactly what this film is: straight up parody of fantasy/sci-fi epics meets the awesomely bad costumed shenanigans of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, or satire of historical sagas with a mythological twist...as if Shinobi met Monty Python in a bar, proceeded to get drunk, catch a Godzilla flick, and then had a baby with omniscent voice-over powers. Maybe that's what this film is.
All I know was is that it was so bad it was fantastic, and worthy of Mystery Science 3000 commentary.
The basic gist of the plot is that there is a Chosen one to wield three mystical tools of power, and that these tools of power happened to conveniently touch down in Japan, and oh, there are aliens in spaceships who are looking for these tools as well.
Throughout the entire movie, everyone comments on how big Abe Hiroshi's sword is.
This is Sleight of Hand..I forget his name, but easily my favorite villain, as he's completely bumbling. His special power is that he can leap great distances in a single bound, and he's also good at magic tricks.
And he's an albino ninja.
Who is very annoyed to be thwarted in his plans to kill Abe, by this mysterious figure:
That's right. That's Meisa Kuroki as a male swordsman, mysterious of smile and ways. It is what I call the "Johnny role," as she's basically there to provide attractive scenery and be cool.
And spy on Abe and try to get his hands on the Giant Sword of Destiny.
Visual gags abound. Abe is easily the tallest of everyone in this film, and add to the height his impressive hair - and yes, clearly, he is a legend in his own history.
there is a princess...
and her bumbling, devoted childhood friend/manservant who's secretly in love with her
and well, he's not quite up to Abe-standards.
More of Meisa looking mysterious and cool:
Abe Hiroshi:
and last, but certainly not least:
This is really just a capsule commentary - Taitei no Ken is such a vast wonderland of crack - there's alien possession, villains that try to kill Abe with either their hair or insects, and just....solid gold WTFery.
here's my gallery of screencaps. I might add more - because this movie certainly does invite rewatching. If only to ff to key scenes.