(no subject)

[called_lioness]

There's nothing to do.

There's nothing to say.

Eustace let her cry and was kind enough not to comment on it, and Lucy--

Lucy came back to her room (their room) and sat with the dog (I'm leaving you too, of all things) and made sure her face was washed as soon as she could.

She'll go out later, and she'll find Alain and sit with him.

She will.

It's just--the thing is--

She wants him to. So badly. She wants him to come and be her husband there like here. She can't say she doesn't.

And the thing is, he says I love you when they sit together, when they wake up, when they're curled in bed, when he's whispering it against her skin and they're the only words that can make any sense at all in her mind with his hands against her, and--

And he says it, but the thing is.

Those are just words.

And love is always what you do.

And Lucy doesn't think her husband (is willing) can let himself come with her.

She can't say she doesn't want him to come.

She just has to try not to say she does.

Lucy doesn't know if she can do that either.