and sometimes when you fall

[called_lioness]

She wakes up.

She shouldn't, really, think of it as waking up, but that's most of what it feels like.

This is real. This is her aware and the air clear and crisp and mountains, always mountains, around her.

***Susan's there sometimes. Often. Not always

Comments

[called_lioness]

She doesn't want to leave.

And she doesn't have to, is the thing.

It's a choice; it's always a choice.

But she promised, and she'd keep it, and that's a choice, too, and one she'd make gladly, even if it hurts.

And this time when she starts to wake up (to fall asleep, to drift off against golden fur and the smell of summer) there's the sound of pages turning in a book and two hands, both pale as as moonlight, one male and one female, in front of her.

It's always a choice, and Lucy loved both her parents, but her father's voice was the one she loved best in the world.

And everything works out, all the little bits, exactly as you make it, as you want it to, in the end.

So she takes a hand.

And then

and then

and then...

And then she wakes up, Caspian's body against hers.

And it's not that it's easy, because it's not, because she knows exactly what she's putting off, and what she's paying to do it, to distract herself and keep her mind busy and not think on where she wants to be the most.

But it's a choice.

And it's hers.

And there's a warm chest under her arms, and Lucy's content to rest her head on it after a moment and listen to his heart beat.

She can wait a while longer.