Re: Caspianthe_seafarerAugust 22 2006, 04:43:06 UTC
He blinks, a little sleepily, at her.
It had been a long day and Lucy's restless sleep perhaps keeps his own lighter than he is likely to admit to her, the result being that a day of labor on the Hope and in the stables, short-handed as they are, just about does him in.
"You shouldn't lie, Caspian." It's gently said as she smiles again.
"You shall, and you need it, for there's no reason for the both of us to be tired. For that alone, I should sleep elsewhere. But because--" And she stops, and says, slowly, "You don't remember your parents, but you were one, so mayhap you'll understand. I--I've no shame in the fact that I share a bed with you. You know this, yes?"
Because she thinks that matters, before she tries and explains everything else.
"I've no shame," she says, slowly, "but if--if we were in England, and my parents were there, they would think I should. If they were here, they would think I should. This is not how I was taught things should be done. My mother--"
"I had friends," she says, looking at her hands, "who did, you see. Live with their boyfriends before wedding them. Or at least sleep with them. Not many, but two or three. But--if you go home for the holidays to your parents, you don't take him up with you to your room, you see? Your parents won't approve, for one, and won't understand, for another. And my mother..." She sighs again and rubs at her neck.
She knows she's working up to the answer, but she hasn't told him of speaking with Dream, because she--doesn't understand, entirely, herself, or doesn't want to, at least, and she knows she'll have to, for this.
"I spoke with Lord Morpheus," she says, finally, and looks down at him with the same faint smile and eyes that aren't entirely there, and a little sad. "Rather, he spoke with me. Approached me."
Re: Caspianthe_seafarerAugust 23 2006, 03:39:49 UTC
"He of the Endless." It isn't quite a question, and he lifts his hand to her cheek in response to the small smile, as if his touch could keep her here, with him.
She stands and begins to walk, because it's a little easier to think this way than sitting still, even by him.
"I don't know that I can explain it. I don't--" And Lucy is frustrated, as she pushes her hair back.
"He told me," she says, slowly, "many things. I--I'll tell you, if you like. I probably should, but I--I never," and her smiles's crooked, "want to worry you. But one of them was that I could see people who I wished, when I dream like this."
Re: Caspianthe_seafarerAugust 23 2006, 03:57:17 UTC
He pushes away his disappointment, and watches her as she paces through the room.
"And you will see your parents tonight."
For all his matter-of-factness, there's sympathy too in his voice, and he edges himself to the side of the bed, trying without realizing it to get closer to her.
"I think so. Maybe. If it--I think so. And so--I think I want more than anything to spend the night with you," softly, as she stops pacing again and looks at him. "But I can't. It would be like taking you into my room, I think, when I'm home for the holidays."
And, a little more quietly, "I'll tell you, if you want. It's just...it's hard. And I don't understand. And it hurts."
Stop.
Start again.
"I...thought I'd sleep in my room tonight."
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It had been a long day and Lucy's restless sleep perhaps keeps his own lighter than he is likely to admit to her, the result being that a day of labor on the Hope and in the stables, short-handed as they are, just about does him in.
"Your room?"
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The twins are listening with interest.
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Bemused, he looks up at her as she pulls away.
"But why? Did I..." But he trails off, uncertain even of what he might have done to convince Lucy it would be better to sleep alone this night.
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"I just--I can't tonight. Not with you." There's hesitation, as she thinks on how to put things and pushes hair from his face.
"You'll sleep better without me here," and it's a little resigned, "anyway."
A little resigned, and her eyes are a little troubled, too, and a little sad, as she smiles at him.
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"Of course you can sleep where you like, Lu, but why tonight? And why not with me?"
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"You shall, and you need it, for there's no reason for the both of us to be tired. For that alone, I should sleep elsewhere. But because--" And she stops, and says, slowly, "You don't remember your parents, but you were one, so mayhap you'll understand. I--I've no shame in the fact that I share a bed with you. You know this, yes?"
Because she thinks that matters, before she tries and explains everything else.
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"But, I still don't understant."
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That makes her stop and frown.
"She would not," carefully, "be happy with me."
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And he does. Yet--
His voice is soft.
"Why are you worried about your parents now?"
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She knows she's working up to the answer, but she hasn't told him of speaking with Dream, because she--doesn't understand, entirely, herself, or doesn't want to, at least, and she knows she'll have to, for this.
"I spoke with Lord Morpheus," she says, finally, and looks down at him with the same faint smile and eyes that aren't entirely there, and a little sad. "Rather, he spoke with me. Approached me."
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She stands and begins to walk, because it's a little easier to think this way than sitting still, even by him.
"I don't know that I can explain it. I don't--" And Lucy is frustrated, as she pushes her hair back.
"He told me," she says, slowly, "many things. I--I'll tell you, if you like. I probably should, but I--I never," and her smiles's crooked, "want to worry you. But one of them was that I could see people who I wished, when I dream like this."
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"And you will see your parents tonight."
For all his matter-of-factness, there's sympathy too in his voice, and he edges himself to the side of the bed, trying without realizing it to get closer to her.
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And, a little more quietly, "I'll tell you, if you want. It's just...it's hard. And I don't understand. And it hurts."
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"Perhaps," slowly, "if you tell me, you will be able to understand more clearly."
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