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I'm taking a break from my studying for psych of women to discuss topics related to it and to tell you how I feel. This entry is not meant to be a statement to be used to pity me. I have this journal as just that, a journal, to record my deepest thoughts and to figure out the world around me using clever phrases and imaginative analogies
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seriously now...
i think un underlying thing that may not show so much now is my background. not a lot of people know, but my family is very artistic. very. i feel that when i grow up, i need to follow this, i yearn to follow this, because no one of my generation has. if i don't and just take up an average desk job, i feel like i am failing myself, not living up to my potential, all that good stuff. it is a standard i have invisibly set for myself and it terrifies me. i would not have money, i would not have stability, i would not always have support. i would have happiness though, because i never pursue anything that doesn't make me happy. i am not talking about quitting everything i am doing and going out on the streets to sell paintings i made with my feet... i just mean choosing a career, or a life path that is not in the norm. some days i strive to acheive this and most days i run away. ho hum. weird quirks... i think i am mildly obsessive compulsive and possibly ADD? i don't know if those qualify as quirks, but they have come out a lot in my first year of college. i know a lot of people say they have either of these but i really really feel i do.
BY THE WAY TASHA~~~~~
with the offer to stay at my house, i TOTALLY forgot that i have a guest bedroom, duh! so if you don't always want to be amanda's roommate in eagan, you could come down to new prague and check in to the hobo motel. it wouldn't even have to be for a long time, just a visit to relax... i have a lake remember
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