i'm sitting here wondering about somethings.
i know for starters that i want to do something with my life. but, whenever i try to decide i draw a blank. it seems like this world has nothing for me. the thing that i want to do is the band. i know it seems crazy that it's all i want to do with my life, but i can. right now, it seems like things are going my way, and it's cool. i just wish that there was something else i could do. like hell, i could be a doctor..ha, well..at least an ambulance driver. i mean, i'm smart but i don't think i am. the only people who think i'm smart are my friends, and for some reason i just can't believe them. i don't let myself. i cut myself short. i quit everything and it sucks. but what in the hell am i supposed to do? start living my life? start finishing things? i have no idea what i want, and the things i do want, i quit. i'm actually amazed that i am still in the band. well, i am but i'm not. i love this band. i can't see myself doing anything else.
school. i don't know why i dropped out, and now i realize it was the stupidest decision i ever made. i make a lot of dumb choices, but damn. that want takes the prize. i want to go back, but i haven't. i don't know what i'm waiting for. january?
maybe..but i feel like my life will pass me by and i'm going to end up a big fuck up, like everyone else in my family. i don't want to, but i'm like, destined to be one. sometimes i look at my family and wonder why i was born into it. my mom has apologized for it several times. it's fucking sad. i mean, my mom actually apologizing to me for being born into this family. it's really depressing. i guess that's why the only thing i did growing up was draw and play the drums..looking for a way out of this hell i was raised in. i have to do something..i have to get out of here. the band is my only way out.
nicole..what can i say? i'm in love with her. i've never felt this way. i mean, i've had times where i thought i was in love, but i wasn't. i know i wasn't. i think every girl friend, or girl that i liked has turned out to be crazy, or wanted me to change.
nicole likes me for me. the person i am now.. she likes me for me...and i love her. it's crazy. i never thought that i would meet the girl of my dreams. i was so wrong. she changed my life last night with on simple word..relax i don't know how she did it, but she did. when i'm with her all my problems fade away. i don't think about life, i don't think about what i've done wrong in the past. NOTHING. my mind is at peace. total peace. she makes me want to create. she believes in me. she brings me to life. the past like, 2 weeks have been amazing. she's my girl. i love her with all my heart.
well..i really don't know what else to say..things don't seem any better. things haven't gotten any worse. i'm sick of a lot of things..one thing i'm really sick of is not being able to do things right..i don't know..maybe it's just how crazy i actually am. i can sum up my life in 3 words..
i. don't. know.
from now on, the person you know as kevin is dead.
i am the kevo. i'm cooler than you. i'm better than you, and i don't give a damn if you like it or not. live with it.
the kevo
** i wish you were home tonight..i need to talk to you..i love you **
school. i don't know why i dropped out, and now i realize it was the stupidest decision i ever made. i make a lot of dumb choices, but damn. that want takes the prize. i want to go back, but i haven't. i don't know what i'm waiting for. january?
maybe..but i feel like my life will pass me by and i'm going to end up a big fuck up, like everyone else in my family. i don't want to, but i'm like, destined to be one. sometimes i look at my family and wonder why i was born into it. my mom has apologized for it several times. it's fucking sad. i mean, my mom actually apologizing to me for being born into this family. it's really depressing. i guess that's why the only thing i did growing up was draw and play the drums..looking for a way out of this hell i was raised in. i have to do something..i have to get out of here. the band is my only way out.
nicole..what can i say? i'm in love with her. i've never felt this way. i mean, i've had times where i thought i was in love, but i wasn't. i know i wasn't. i think every girl friend, or girl that i liked has turned out to be crazy, or wanted me to change.
nicole likes me for me. the person i am now.. she likes me for me...and i love her. it's crazy. i never thought that i would meet the girl of my dreams. i was so wrong. she changed my life last night with on simple word..relax i don't know how she did it, but she did. when i'm with her all my problems fade away. i don't think about life, i don't think about what i've done wrong in the past. NOTHING. my mind is at peace. total peace. she makes me want to create. she believes in me. she brings me to life. the past like, 2 weeks have been amazing. she's my girl. i love her with all my heart.
well..i really don't know what else to say..things don't seem any better. things haven't gotten any worse. i'm sick of a lot of things..one thing i'm really sick of is not being able to do things right..i don't know..maybe it's just how crazy i actually am. i can sum up my life in 3 words..
i. don't. know.
from now on, the person you know as kevin is dead.
i am the kevo. i'm cooler than you. i'm better than you, and i don't give a damn if you like it or not. live with it.
the kevo
** i wish you were home tonight..i need to talk to you..i love you **