002 [Text]

[call_me_saffron]

Been thinking a lot lately, 'bout life, and 'bout what being a part of the troupe means to me.

I'll admit it. I was thinking of hightailing it out of here long before trouble started up-and Angie, honey, what happened was not your fault. Past couple days, though... Well, for better or worse, I've seen a side to all of you that reminded me why I

Comments

carnie filter - and he needs to rant. people he likes are a good source. SORRY.

[deepdowndark]

Really? We're only as much a part of a family as whores are in a brothel. And I don't mean that to insult you, or anything, because you're the most decent person here.

But don't you think you're selling a huge chunk of your dignity just... sitting in a tent and selling yourself? Whatever makes you a 'freak'? I mean, those town folk aren't right either, to be so... aggressive and sure, we're right to stand up for each other, but this... you can't always dress this up in terms of a community or somethin' like that. In the end, we're selling ourselves. I've got a bloody brain in here, you know, I'm actually pretty good at things, but all I ever make money on the back on is how damn short I am.

I think selling this like we're all havin' a good time or whatever is just a bit of a con, you know.

carnie filter

[call_me_saffron]

Maybe it's a damned awful job and maybe it's no better than whoring, but you made me realise something the other night. You showed me that we're people too, damn it, and we're no more or less worthy of being on God's green earth-but more than that, you showed me that I can be happy if I accept that I'm a little different and don't let it get to me.

This is the one thing I've ever been good at in my whole life, Ardent, and the carnival's the one place I ever felt I belonged. Spending time with you reminded me of what it felt like to be happy here. Of what it felt like to be happy being me.

Re: carnie filter

[deepdowndark]

We're people too, and why shouldn't we be happy the way we are? That's sort of my point. Why should we sell ourselves, our dignity, to be stared at by people who don't know any better? You can say 'oh, but we're making money on our own terms', but that's all a whore tells herself, isn't it? To make herself feel better.

You should be able to be happy being you without this place. That's all I'm trying to say. We need this place, I know that, I do. But if we're going to be happy being just us, we should be mightily pissed off that all we can do with us is let people stare at us and get their giggles, you know?

To be happy with each other, we ought to hate what we have to do.

Re: carnie filter

[call_me_saffron]

Tell me honestly, then-what are you going to do? Would you honestly leave this place?

Re: carnie filter

[deepdowndark]

If I could take you with me.

But there's nowhere to go. Nobody takes me seriously. I couldn't get a real job if I tried.

Re: carnie filter

[call_me_saffron]

That's why... That's why I'm still here. There is nothing else. Can't we at least try to happy with what work we do have? Sure, it's demeaning... But at the end of the day, no matter how many people point and stare, all that matters is how you feel about yourself.

...Right?

Re: carnie filter

[deepdowndark]

And it makes me feel dirty.

You were the only person around here which didn't make me feel ashamed - not of myself, but what I do for a living, you know?

I dunno. I can't manage to be proud of myself for doing this.

Re: carnie filter

[call_me_saffron]

Honey... You want to close up for the day and talk?

Re: carnie filter

[deepdowndark]

...'Reckon if I close up too soon, I'll get shouted at.

Give it an hour or so. Might've calmed down, too.

Re: carnie filter

[call_me_saffron]

All right, you take all the time you need. I'll see if I can scrape up something a little more exotic than bread in the meantime.

Re: carnie filter

[deepdowndark]

Think I might have managed to get some fruit. Impressive, I know.

Re: carnie filter

[call_me_saffron]

Fruit?! We'll dine like royalty tonight.

Re: carnie filter

[deepdowndark]

We are truly blessed.