im gunna whine now

[call_me_nny]

yea so nothing makes me happy anymore.....well the only thing that does is when dean calls me. i wait everyday for my cell fone to ring just so i call talk to him....he comes home in about a month and i cant fukn wait. its the only thing thats keeping me going at this time. no offence to everyone in my life i love you all dearly, but i miss him so much. i just got home....and its about 2:00am and i think im going to sleep in his room tonite. normally if i came home now he would be walking in the door or he would be in his room with a bunch of people...but the room is empty, scilent, and cold. i cant wait for him to be home....even if its only for 10 days. those will be the best 10 days of my year. and he told me im going to be with him everyday all teh time and that makes me so happy. i dont want to let him out of my sight for more then the needed time of sleep. and even then its going to be a struggle to get me to go to sleep. but i know that im going to be a complete mess when he leaves again. this will eb the third time ill be saying good-bye and it hurts mroe and more each time. i think it hurts so much b/c i dont know when ill get to see him next. god this sux the big one. well enough with this self loathing im gunna go in my room and be depressed.....much love to all but more love to some rather than others.

<3 dezEray