A wish for a lucky star
Today has been such a terrible day.
I'll get over it though I'm making improvements and different outlooks and stuff. I even got Brad and Lui to think about it and be aware and shit. Theyre both quitting cigarettes now. They said today was the last day. Lui is sick of buying tobbacco and papers and everything. I'm really hoping things get better from here on out. We went shopping for bodywash and shampoo and stuff today and got Lui some shorts for summer. And I talked to my dad. We're going out to dinner as a big fuckin family. grandma ron dad mom duncan lui sanai gray aunt jennifer and larry. 10 people. I'd say that's a pretty hefty number to go out to eat. Mayeb we just don't get out much. We haven't done anything like go out as a family in a really..really really long time. I want to go swimming with my family. I wish we had a pool. and we would have a barbeque or something...a fiesta! with fajitas. good good. Hmmmm our family could never afford a pool.. oh well. One day when I have a family I'll have a pool and have my little fantasy life. Probably not though. I decided I really need to get my shit together. I'm pretty pathetic. I think I want to be a part of drama or theatre or tech or something. Not really at school though... Like away from Flower Mound. My mom wanted me to do this camp thing with this agent lady at her work. sounds pretty good. I just really need to figure out what I need and what I want and what I should to pursue and work on. That seems to be the longest running thing. I wouldn't want to be in theater as much as getting commercial jobs or something. I wouldn't be good in theater, my tolerance for being excited all the time and other things just isn't that high. That's a really high hope though. I'm pretty sick of having high hopes and telling myself that everything is just going to work out all the time. It's gonna work out really shitty the way things are going in my head. I want to start painting. I've been drawing a lot lately. Please give me clarity.
I'll get over it though I'm making improvements and different outlooks and stuff. I even got Brad and Lui to think about it and be aware and shit. Theyre both quitting cigarettes now. They said today was the last day. Lui is sick of buying tobbacco and papers and everything. I'm really hoping things get better from here on out. We went shopping for bodywash and shampoo and stuff today and got Lui some shorts for summer. And I talked to my dad. We're going out to dinner as a big fuckin family. grandma ron dad mom duncan lui sanai gray aunt jennifer and larry. 10 people. I'd say that's a pretty hefty number to go out to eat. Mayeb we just don't get out much. We haven't done anything like go out as a family in a really..really really long time. I want to go swimming with my family. I wish we had a pool. and we would have a barbeque or something...a fiesta! with fajitas. good good. Hmmmm our family could never afford a pool.. oh well. One day when I have a family I'll have a pool and have my little fantasy life. Probably not though. I decided I really need to get my shit together. I'm pretty pathetic. I think I want to be a part of drama or theatre or tech or something. Not really at school though... Like away from Flower Mound. My mom wanted me to do this camp thing with this agent lady at her work. sounds pretty good. I just really need to figure out what I need and what I want and what I should to pursue and work on. That seems to be the longest running thing. I wouldn't want to be in theater as much as getting commercial jobs or something. I wouldn't be good in theater, my tolerance for being excited all the time and other things just isn't that high. That's a really high hope though. I'm pretty sick of having high hopes and telling myself that everything is just going to work out all the time. It's gonna work out really shitty the way things are going in my head. I want to start painting. I've been drawing a lot lately. Please give me clarity.