(no subject)
BAD week. BAD BAD BAD. BAD BAD BAD.
I'm deciding to take a time out from this god awful research paper to write this. It's not gonna be as long as Morgan's entry, but props to you Morgan, that was reallly deep.
I kinda feel like pulling an all nighter.
Liz <333333333 is in the hopsital :( and I dont think I'll be able to visit her cuz of fucking softball. It'd be nice if Nicole could wait. but whatever.
So as if you don't know, a sophomore at Marian died in a car accident. Her name was Anne Novak. I didn't know her, but I feel every ounce of pain those sophomores feel. It made me wonder how much i take for granted, and how one day u can say hi to someone and then next day they wont be there. You wont ever be able to talk to them again. Ever.
So I kinda had a new outlook on life. How could there be so much hate in the world? Fuck all you egotistical people. I hope you get a reality check.
Time for some Chicken Soup for the Soul.
About love:
someone out there was meant to be the love of your life.
your best friend.
your soul mate.
the one you can tell your dreams to.
he will smile at you when you tell him.
but, he will never laugh at your heart.
he will brush the hair out of your eyes.
he will send you flowers when you least expect it.
he will stare at you during the movies, even though he paid $7.50 for it.
you will put his picture in a frame by your bed.
he will call you to tell you goodnight: before he gets into bed, or just because he was thinking about you.
he will look into your eyes and tell you that you are the most beautiful girl he has ever seen.
and for the first time in your life, you will believe it.
About friendship:
Somewhere someone is thinking of you.
Someone is calling you an angel.
This person is using celestial colors to paint your image.
Someone is making you into a vision so beautiful that it can only live in the mind.
Someone is thinking of the way your breath escapes your lips when you are touched.
How your eyes close and your jaw tightens with concentration as you give pleasure a home.
These thoughts are saving a life somewhere right now.
In some airless apartment on a dark, urine stained, whore lined street, someone is calling out to you silently and you are answering without even being there.
So crystalline.
So pure.
Such life saving power when you smile.
You will never know how you have cauterized my wounds.
So sad that we will never touch.
How it hurts me to know that I will never be able to give you everything I have."”
-Henry Rollins
You know how people say life each day like your last? There's so many things I wanna do. I know this sounds selfish, but i hate seeing everyone around me havin' a good ol' time. Like everything's peachy keen. I feel so insecure and messed up and I dno what the fuck to think or do anymore. I'm like.. sooo jealous of everything and everyone IM SO SICK OF IT......... BLAHHHHHH I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN. GRRRRRR now im crying and i cant even reda the effin screen
I need a hug.