moraga valley pool
I love looking at my old entries on this about mvp on this lj.
Once again, summer has started and I've already completely given up any hope of a life... and once again, I'm not terribly depressed about it. Honestly, this is my last year swimming at mvp. It's kind of the end of an era.
Sure, maybe it's an era that drove me practically insane and has already caused three emotional breakdowns in a mere week and a half... but its still mvp. And even though my mental health will probably improve a million fold once i don't have kevin pushing me to work myself into the gorund in every aspect of my life every day without fail... he'll still be the most influential person in my life besides my parents. And after five years of him kicking my ass, and basically teaching me to kick it myself, it's just kind of weird to think that it's actually going to be over--forever--in six weeks.
Yes... it was crazy and frustrating and, to say the least, insane. I have shattered shampoo bottles against the walls of the mvp showers in blind rage after being forced to work out twice as much as anyone else on the team and still being lectured about my dedication not being high enough, me being "unmotivated." I have watched the rest of the age group play sharks and minnows while I have to do an insane threshold set. I have actually had a workout at 3:30 AM before an all day swim meet. I have been cussed out and had chairst thrown in the pool when I tried to go to a CHRISTIAN concert in the AFTERNOON the day before a swim meet. I spent 12 hours a day at the pool last summer--fuck you proof that I wasn't the little shit that I had been when I was 16... but even that wasn't enough. Even after the season ended, I was expected to just let my younger brother do cougar days alone, because kevin needed me to drop my life and make copies for the awards night program with him. Couldn't he just ask one of the people he'd promoted above me? Did I really have to get bitched out over the phone because I couldn't sacrifice any more and it had just gotten ridiculous??
God it was crazy. And I'm bracing myself for it to be crazy again. But there was the outstanding relay, making ompa the best day of my life to date, as pathetic as that is. And me getting everything I wanted and more at the end of the season, in swimming, my bonus, and actually exceeding his expectations instead of just barely reaching them for once.
And sure, right now I'm on the B relay because i got out of shape and everyone else got a season of varsity training... but the two(or three)-a-day practices plus early morning pilates are starting. And I'm driven now... I want it, and I'm not afraid to want it. Sure, MVP has caused enough emotional breakdowns to send to me a shrink, but its MADE me. It's a huge part of me... And it's almost over.
Six more weeks.
Once again, summer has started and I've already completely given up any hope of a life... and once again, I'm not terribly depressed about it. Honestly, this is my last year swimming at mvp. It's kind of the end of an era.
Sure, maybe it's an era that drove me practically insane and has already caused three emotional breakdowns in a mere week and a half... but its still mvp. And even though my mental health will probably improve a million fold once i don't have kevin pushing me to work myself into the gorund in every aspect of my life every day without fail... he'll still be the most influential person in my life besides my parents. And after five years of him kicking my ass, and basically teaching me to kick it myself, it's just kind of weird to think that it's actually going to be over--forever--in six weeks.
Yes... it was crazy and frustrating and, to say the least, insane. I have shattered shampoo bottles against the walls of the mvp showers in blind rage after being forced to work out twice as much as anyone else on the team and still being lectured about my dedication not being high enough, me being "unmotivated." I have watched the rest of the age group play sharks and minnows while I have to do an insane threshold set. I have actually had a workout at 3:30 AM before an all day swim meet. I have been cussed out and had chairst thrown in the pool when I tried to go to a CHRISTIAN concert in the AFTERNOON the day before a swim meet. I spent 12 hours a day at the pool last summer--fuck you proof that I wasn't the little shit that I had been when I was 16... but even that wasn't enough. Even after the season ended, I was expected to just let my younger brother do cougar days alone, because kevin needed me to drop my life and make copies for the awards night program with him. Couldn't he just ask one of the people he'd promoted above me? Did I really have to get bitched out over the phone because I couldn't sacrifice any more and it had just gotten ridiculous??
God it was crazy. And I'm bracing myself for it to be crazy again. But there was the outstanding relay, making ompa the best day of my life to date, as pathetic as that is. And me getting everything I wanted and more at the end of the season, in swimming, my bonus, and actually exceeding his expectations instead of just barely reaching them for once.
And sure, right now I'm on the B relay because i got out of shape and everyone else got a season of varsity training... but the two(or three)-a-day practices plus early morning pilates are starting. And I'm driven now... I want it, and I'm not afraid to want it. Sure, MVP has caused enough emotional breakdowns to send to me a shrink, but its MADE me. It's a huge part of me... And it's almost over.
Six more weeks.