The magical Mystery tour
Friday my mom came to my room and told me my grandma was dying.
That sucked a lot. And I don't know why it hit me so hard, but it did.
Grandma lives in hutchinson kansas, about 3-4 hours away from here.
Ususally when I find out some one has died, or is dying, I don't get upset at first. I need time to process the information thats been thrown at me. But it clicked instantly and I couldn't stop bawling. I did however manage to suck it up for the drive down. We got there about 9 or so, and checked into a hotel.
When I saw her the next day, it was really really hard. We all just waited for her to die. I think thats probably what bothered me the most. Just waiting around for someone to die is one of the worst experiences of my life. I felt so horrible for my grandma, that I couldn't do anything for her, she wanted to die too, she just wanted it to be over with. Can you imagine that? Closing your eyes and hoping for death, but it just doesn't come. I think thats what made me so upset.
I was so angry that whatever was keeping her alive, just wouldn't let her go.
My grandma was pretty delirious, but when she was in and out of sleep, she looked at me in the eyes and said 'you would make a good nurse, i can tell by your hands' . She also told me to be a good girl and that she loved me.
It was really rough, and saying good bye was also really awkward. Of course we're not going to see eachother again, until who knows when, until I die I guess.
We haven't heard anything, so I think no news is good news, I guess we'll go down again next weekend, if she's still alive.
I just want to be happy again.
That sucked a lot. And I don't know why it hit me so hard, but it did.
Grandma lives in hutchinson kansas, about 3-4 hours away from here.
Ususally when I find out some one has died, or is dying, I don't get upset at first. I need time to process the information thats been thrown at me. But it clicked instantly and I couldn't stop bawling. I did however manage to suck it up for the drive down. We got there about 9 or so, and checked into a hotel.
When I saw her the next day, it was really really hard. We all just waited for her to die. I think thats probably what bothered me the most. Just waiting around for someone to die is one of the worst experiences of my life. I felt so horrible for my grandma, that I couldn't do anything for her, she wanted to die too, she just wanted it to be over with. Can you imagine that? Closing your eyes and hoping for death, but it just doesn't come. I think thats what made me so upset.
I was so angry that whatever was keeping her alive, just wouldn't let her go.
My grandma was pretty delirious, but when she was in and out of sleep, she looked at me in the eyes and said 'you would make a good nurse, i can tell by your hands' . She also told me to be a good girl and that she loved me.
It was really rough, and saying good bye was also really awkward. Of course we're not going to see eachother again, until who knows when, until I die I guess.
We haven't heard anything, so I think no news is good news, I guess we'll go down again next weekend, if she's still alive.
I just want to be happy again.